Au Cochonnet Marin

I recently saw Henry Kissinger on television. He is 100 years old and looks like it. He seems to be the perfect embodiment of an Old Fart; seemingly unable to move and enunciate properly. But he is still coherent and can still argue convincingly.

What precisely qualifies anybody as an “old fart”? An old fart, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is a “contemptible or tiresome person, especially one who is old-fashioned, stuffy, or close-minded.” I am older granted, and I don’t prance like a young goat anymore, but I don’t think that I qualify (yet) as an OF.

I am open-minded and do not harbor old-fashioned ideas. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that Supreme Court Justices are infallible semi-gods. They should be impartial and incorruptible… but obviously, they are not. They are imperfect human beings (many are indeed old farts) subject to the laws of the land. They should be unbiased and honest… or quit without any feeble excuse when caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Lately, as you can see, I have been wondering about old farts, because it seems that I might reluctantly be turning into one. Yes, there is the age factor, but in my defense, I would at worse consider myself a “progressive old fart”.

Despite advancing age, you should not be classified as an OF if you keep your sense of humor and can laugh at yourself (and mostly at everybody else). Because the world is full of unpleasant old farts, still trying to convince you that they are not prejudiced (Roe versus Wade) close-minded extremists.

So, what do you do with real old farts?

“Just let them sit in the goddam sun. But the world won’t let them because there’s nothing more dangerous than letting old farts sit in the sun. They might be thinking. Same thing with kids. Keep ’em busy or they might start thinking.”— Frank McCourt

 Alain

Today in America, there is practically no single day going by, without hearing about another bloodshed. According to the statistics, we now have more mass shootings than days in the year. Yes, I have bitched about this subject many times before, and I will do it again until something significant is done about gun violence.

This is the elephant in the room, which everybody studiously ignores despite its loud trumpeting. Especially the Right, always so full of piety and patriotism.

We are now facing another type of pandemic, where instead of wearing facemasks, we will soon have to wear helmets and bulletproof vests before venturing to any public area.

According to the BBC, “The US ratio of 120.5 firearms per 100 residents, up from 88 per 100 in 2011, far surpasses that of other countries around the world.”

In many ways, we seem like Russian citizens, afraid to say anything derogatory about the carnage in Ukraine. But unlike Russia, instead of being thrown in the slammer, we might get shot if we do.

New Zealand showed the way how the gun problem could be solved. After the March 15, 2019, mass shooting in Christchurch, the government swiftly passed a series of reforms.

According to the International Bar Association

“The reforms included a ban on all assault rifles, military-style semi-automatic guns, high-capacity magazines, and parts that can be used to build military style-semi automatic weapons.”

The only reforms we seem to do in America, are laws preventing women to get abortions or birth control medications. I am afraid that “the land of the brave and the home of the free” has become the laughingstock of the world.

Our timorous lawmakers are afraid to lose their precious “gagne pain” if they dare to bring this subject to the table. It seems that the only way they will finally tackle this endemic bloodshed will be when one of them becomes a casualty.

Today, make no mistake, nobody is safe. You never know when a deranged or vindictive individual is going to strike. Is that a way to live?

Pressure your elected official to shorten their exotic vacations (hello Clarence) and get to work to pass life-saving reforms!

Alain

I am sick of bad news… Every morning after leaving Morpheus’ arms, I turned on the boob tube to watch the news. It has been part of my regular routine for a long time, and I do this almost without thinking.

But instead of paving the way for a pleasant day, the news makes me unhappy and cranky. Almost invariably, every broadcast is overflowing with Bad News. I would not mind hearing about it occasionally, but a daily diet of this toxic fare is quite upsetting. It feels like the disgusting cod liver oil that we were fed regularly while in elementary school.

Before the day even begins, we are reminded of all the countries engulfed in violence: Ukraine, Haiti, Sudan, Syria, Yemen, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Venezuela, most of Central Africa… and many other obscure spots that we know very little about.

OK, OK, are you going to say, but this violence Thank God, is not happening in America. Well, I am not so sure… Recurrent mass shootings, robberies, muggings, unruly flight passengers, the specter of bank failures, strikes, unending migrant crossings, drought, floods, tornadoes, pollution, cost of living…

“Bad news travels fast. Good news takes the scenic route.” — Doug Larson

And I almost forgot France. I don’t get a better fare when I tune in to TV5 Monde (the French broadcasting channel). Egged on by powerful unions, the country has been rioting non-stop for months… it has been conditioned to believe that they have the God-given right to stop working at 62… and be well compensated for it until they croak. Let’s be realistic, folks… France is not Saudi Arabia.

Protest is nothing new in the land of crêpes and croissants. You might not know this, but every Frenchman (and Frenchwoman) is born with an obscure but powerful gene. It lays dormant for a few years, but as soon as the individual enters college (or gets his/her driving license), the gene wakes up and pressures the individual to protest. Protest everything and anything.

Protest is meaningful when it happens occasionally and for a noble cause, like the cessation of the uncalled-for (and unjust) war in Ukraine. But it loses much of its impact when it happens almost routinely.

To sum it up, I wish to keep my sanity and would like TV stations to give us a more balanced share of good and bad news. Is it too much to ask for?

Alain