Old Fart story

I recently saw Henry Kissinger on television. He is 100 years old and looks like it. He seems to be the perfect embodiment of an Old Fart; seemingly unable to move and enunciate properly. But he is still coherent and can still argue convincingly.

What precisely qualifies anybody as an “old fart”? An old fart, according to the Oxford English Dictionary, is a “contemptible or tiresome person, especially one who is old-fashioned, stuffy, or close-minded.” I am older granted, and I don’t prance like a young goat anymore, but I don’t think that I qualify (yet) as an OF.

I am open-minded and do not harbor old-fashioned ideas. As a matter of fact, I don’t think that Supreme Court Justices are infallible semi-gods. They should be impartial and incorruptible… but obviously, they are not. They are imperfect human beings (many are indeed old farts) subject to the laws of the land. They should be unbiased and honest… or quit without any feeble excuse when caught with their hands in the cookie jar.

Lately, as you can see, I have been wondering about old farts, because it seems that I might reluctantly be turning into one. Yes, there is the age factor, but in my defense, I would at worse consider myself a “progressive old fart”.

Despite advancing age, you should not be classified as an OF if you keep your sense of humor and can laugh at yourself (and mostly at everybody else). Because the world is full of unpleasant old farts, still trying to convince you that they are not prejudiced (Roe versus Wade) close-minded extremists.

So, what do you do with real old farts?

“Just let them sit in the goddam sun. But the world won’t let them because there’s nothing more dangerous than letting old farts sit in the sun. They might be thinking. Same thing with kids. Keep ’em busy or they might start thinking.”— Frank McCourt


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