How well do you know your smartphone?

It goes without saying that in the civilized world, almost everybody carries, or even sleeps with a smartphone. But how well do you know your bedmate?  Probably not well enough.

“A new survey out says 64 percent of Americans own a smartphone. This is interesting because, in a related survey, 100 percent of smartphones say they own an American.” ~ Jimmy Fallon

Contrary to what some old fogies are thinking, a smartphone is not just a fancy cell phone. It is a powerful little device that can do (almost) anything… providing that you know how to do it. Regrettably, many middle-aged individuals are limited to basic functions such as calling, texting, or watching videos.

“Smartphones can relay patients’ data to hospital computers in a continuous stream. Doctors can alter treatment regimens remotely, instead of making patients come in for a visit.” ~ Charles C. Mann

If you want to know more about your smartphone, ask your grandkids. They graduated in “Phonomics” as early as the Second Grade and can instruct you on all the things that you didn’t know or were afraid to ask.

Despite their sometimes limited grasp of traditional skills like writing or arithmetic, children exhibit remarkable proficiency when handling a smartphone. I also believe that future generations will evolve with elongated thumbs, the primary digits used for smartphone interactions.

Inspired by this notion, I’ve entertained the idea of launching a special venture. By pairing tech-savvy youngsters with smartphone innocents, we could facilitate private tutoring sessions aimed at enlightening uninformed citizens. For a modest fee, adults could benefit from personalized instruction, while children would contribute to a mutually enriching experience.

So, keep the little tykes away from mischief and put them to work to earn their keep.

Alain

“To be honest, I think cell phones were invented by the devil.” Joe Hill

I want to speak with a human being… please

In the old days, the lord of the manor lived in splendid isolation behind his castle’s walls, and he was practically unapproachable by the common man.

Many things have changed for the better since the Middle Ages, but the decision-makers are still beyond reach. Instead of walls, they are now protected by soulless, anonymous bots. Finding a human being to voice your concerns or to ask pointed questions is virtually impossible. And you shouldn’t have the impertinence to even try it, they say.

These days, everybody (even beggars) owns a phone and in theory, you should be able to contact anybody at any time. But not so fast! The key numbers are kept out of reach of the huddled masses. You cannot call the governor or your senator to complain about this or that. No, no, no! You must first go through a labyrinth, an obstacle course to reach that revered person.

As a concrete example (and I have plenty of them) I was trying today to reach an Earthling at Xfinity (or is it Comcast?) to grumble about a sudden and mysterious increase in my monthly bill. As I usually do, I let my fingers do the talking and started to look for a pertinent telephone number on their website. But Tarnation! I could not find any. I finally came across a “Customer Support” button and I jumped on it like a hungry dog on a bone.

I believe that this is a devious plot to discourage any type of complaint. When you call, you are usually put on hold, and it is hoped that the lengthy waiting time will discourage you and prompt you to hang up.

When the Support Person finally manifested his/herself… in print, I was asked to click on some links and answer some very personal questions. Everybody knows that clicking on any unknown link is fraught with peril and that it is a big NO-NO for all the Internauts. But what else could I do?

 I was asked among other things for my Social Security Number and a credit card number. How can I be sure that I am not dealing with some Romanian fleabag trying to rip me off? It happens every day…

With each passing day, we venture deeper into a more impersonal world. The droids are everywhere, even on the battlefield, and they have scant respect for insignificant insects like you.

Nevertheless, I went through my session with the bot and was ultimately assured of a better deal. I am now clenching my sphincter and anxiously waiting for the best.

Feeling lost in space, longing for a human, compassionate voice.

Alain

Singles, March 9, 2024

So, how was it in Marin, will you certainly ask? In a single word, it was cold! It was so cold (to me) that the polar bears would’ve begged for a blanket.

Hastings Adair, Dylan Maringolo, Kevin Evoy

I elected to not play… or rather, I didn’t feel like playing. My superbly engineered machine works optimally only under clement conditions, and so, I abstained from this event. My Siberian-born mate, on the other hand, stated that rain or shine she would play, and she did.

Armed with long johns and five layers of clothing, I didn’t show up on the field until 10:00 am while the contest was already underway. The temperature was still hovering around 55 degrees and I was gratified to see that most everybody was wearing solid winter clothes… no shorts or sandals!

Twenty-four people showed up to compete including a few individuals from Sonoma and even Sacramento.

Three timed games were played in the morning, and Concours and Consolante were played in the afternoon. The weather was gloomy most of the day with a small shower around noon which prompted me to retreat home. But after seeing a gleam of sunshine I returned around 2:00 PM to watch the completion of the event.

To be true to my profession as a war photographer, I tried to cover every situation and every foxhole. I am not sure that I succeeded, but I tried.

The interesting part of the contest took place in the afternoon when finalists played in the Concours and Consolante.

In the Concours, Kevin Evoy faced a young lad called Dylan Maringolo and it proved to be a very interesting match. Dylan is a fluid, natural shooter, and given his past effortless and accurate shooting, I would have placed my money on him. But wily old Kevin didn’t let this happen.

He took his time and pondered every shot, while young Dylan was more impulsive and opted to shoot almost every time instead of occasionally pointing. It is the true mark of a champion, but unfortunately, he missed a few crucial shots and fell behind.

By the way, the field was still wet, and the game consisted almost entirely of shooting and plumbing maneuvers, a discipline that both players accomplished very well.

Eventually, Kevin won this very interesting match by a score of 13 to 6. Congratulations fearless fisherman!

Concours:
1st place: Kevin Evoy $80.00
2nd place: Dylan Maringolo $67.00
3rd place: Hastings Adair $52.00

Consolante:
1st place: Bleys Rose $39.00
2nd place: Ron Rohlfes  $26.00

And that was the way it was.

Alain

Please watch the accompanying photo album. For best results, look at it on an iPad or a computer. Thank you.