Television desperation

Watching TV is the lazy way of reading, and the older I get, the lazier I become. I used to be a voracious reader, but now I feed on much lighter fares. I rely mainly on TV and my computer to inform me about the latest government follies.

Alas, I have become some kind of a couch potato… especially on rainy nights. If you didn’t know, watching TV with a warm cat nesting on your thigh is an extremely pleasurable experience.

But repelled by television ever-increasing ads and mediocre fares, I have forsaken the networks and taken refuge on channels such as Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and YouTube.

I now subsist mainly on movies… but most of them alas, turn out to be turkeys. Worn out plots and bad acting. In desperation, I have become omnivorous. I am now a nocturnal raccoon feeding on movie refuses.

My diet consists of an amalgam of English, French, Russian, Korean, Indian, Turkish and Hispanic flicks. And there are plenty of them. It seems that TV honchos went on shopping sprees and bought busloads of cheap machine-produced flicks.

The Russian “films” are the worst. They have ridiculous plots with no continuity whatsoever. In one scene the hero brings flowers to the girl… in the next, he is a crazy maniac trying to strangle her. Очень плохой!
The only saving grace are the girls… always good looking.

I wonder how such movies can be made. The purpose of making a film if I am not mistaken is to tell a good story that will please many people. They, in turn, will brief their friends about it, and the movie will be a great financial success; it will allow producers, directors and actors to buy as much opiate concoctions as they little hearts desire.

But if the movie is a flop, no profit will be made. If there is no profit, the product will fail and be discontinued right? But it does not seem so. Flops are still churned out with a dull regularity. I must be missing something.

So, what do I want in a movie, are you going to ask?

Well, to start with I want a clear image and a very understandable dialogue. No mumbling, s’il vous plait. I want a credible plot with fairly talented actors, and I would like my heroes to be engaging. Also, spare me highly forgettable songs for each sequence.

Last but not least… please, pretty please, give me an unambiguous ending. Not a French-like finish that leaves you baffled and frustrated.

Is it asking too much? I don’t think so.


Who needs a dog?

“Do you notice that all presidents have a dog? There is always a First Dog. Or two or three. You have to have a dog to be president, I guess.  Robert Fulghum

Vladimir Putin

Donald Trump just lost the 2020 elections!

At a campaign rally in El Paso, Texas, the president declared that he would feel “a little phony” owning a dog.

Is he implying that dog owners are phonies? This is an extremely thoughtless and foolhardy statement. There are 89.7 million dogs in the US and at very least an equal number of voters. Regardless of their political slants, I don’t think that they will take too kindly to this remark.

“Folk will know how large your soul is, by the way you treat a dog.” Charles F. Doran

If you don’t have any dog, or any pet, how large could your soul then be? The size of a peanut?
Donald Trump, who was elected in 2016 is the first president in 130 years who does not have a pet.

Most presidents (even if they were not dog’s devotees) understood the value of a photo-op with a four-legged friend. Vladimir Putin who owns four dogs, is fully aware of this  and does not waste any opportunity to be photographed with a dog or any beast. There are hundreds of photos of a smiling Vladimir cavorting with animals.

Unlike our president, I am no friend of the Russian czar, but I share with him my love of canines. We could disagree on many things but we will always have a cordial footbridge through our common love of animals.

Dogs are as popular as ever. Even China is now succumbing to the lure of the beasts. Instead of eating them, they are now spoiling them silly.

It is a recognized fact that dogs reduce stress and want to console their human friends. They are now widely used as emotional comfort animals at home and in hospitals.

“They [dogs] never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself, and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” – Jerome K. Jerome

If anybody wishes to hire me as a campaign adviser, my first tactical recommendation would be “get a dog, you fool.


Sex education

“Okay I’ll come in for one drink and maybe sex but that’s it.”

Every morning I hop on to my computer armchair and peruse American and French sites for interesting tidbits.

A few days ago I came across an enthusiastic review of a Netflix production called “Sex Education”. It was written by a French blogger named Fiona Schmidt, a lady “qui n’a pas froid aux yeux” (who does not have the fear of a shillelagh in her eyes.) Poetic license.

I was a little surprised to find this review of an Anglo/American production in the French Huffpost, but in the days of globalism nothing should surprise you anymore.

 This review, drafted in French was provocative and well written. This prompted me to tune in to Netflix and watch the above-mentioned show.

The plot is simple but full of twists. At the urging of a rebellious girl, a virgin boy of 16 (whose mother is sexologist) opens a practice of clandestine sexual therapy in high school.
Sounds a little implausible but you have to play along.

My adolescent years are far away, but it seems to me that a teen today is more knowledgeable about sex than many adults fifty years ago.

I don’t know if it is the easy access of online pornography, but juveniles today seem to have no qualms about talking about sex. Their vocabulary is peppered with words such as penis, vagina and oral sex.

Fiona writes “In the series as in real life, girls masturbate, think about sex and express their desires. Teens think about sex and fuck.”

 And why not? Sexual intercourse today is not the sole preserve of male imagination. Women think of sex as much as men and are not bashful about it.

“Men think, while women desire.’ Gone are the days when ‘demanding sex’ was considered exclusively a man’s forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it.”

The sexual revolution has matured and is now egalitarian. Just as it should be.


“How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.” Will Durst, political satirist