Bipolar disorder

For the past seven years, we have provided free room and board for an individual afflicted by (I believe) a bipolar disorder.

“Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).”

 Typically, she can be playful and friendly, but suddenly, without any provocation, she can bite or scratch. Despite her excellent physical condition, she is not interested in any kind of job. She spends most of her time snoozing, reading trashy novels, or snooping on the neighbors.

Above all, she is atypical. Although she looks like a feline, she does not behave like one. She never purrs and does not like to cuddle. Like a beautiful woman, she likes to be around people, but just to be admired… You can look at me, but don’t you dare to touch me… I know excellent lawyers who have won all their cases of sexual harassment.

She is also very territorial and guards what she considers her home with great vigilance. Night or day, any trespasser will be repulsed by loud cries and hissing sounds. And nothing is more frightening than the sight of an angry female.

A cat is supposed to be nice and cuddly, but this one probably was a juvenile delinquent. When we adopted her, we didn’t bother to check her criminal record. Maybe we should have… because who knows what evil lurks behind her fearsome green eyes?

Even though she is rather indolent, she is capable of extraordinary feats. She can scale fences and posts as easily as Spiderman… probably even better.

Lately, I have started to suspect that she belongs to a subversive organization called « Coalition secrète des chats conspirateurs pour l’asservissement des humains » or «Secret Coalition of Conspiratorial Cats for the Enslavement of Humans”.

Do you remember the flick called Planet of the Apes? If we are not vigilant, we could soon end up on the Planet of the Cats. And it could be tough. The felines would certainly treat us like slaves (they already do) and force us to submit to all their whims.

Moral of the story: beware of individuals afflicted by bipolar disorder. They might be good-looking but they are difficult to live with… unless you subscribe unconditionally to all their caprices.

In spite of it all, I still love that darn cat… but she does not deserve it.

Alain