Au Cochonnet Marin

Are cats smart or wicked? As the custodian/butler of several of them over the years, I believe that they are neither; they are just shamelessly being themselves. We are cats, and you must take us as we are.  But yes, we can be a little neurotic and entitled.

When I woke up this morning, the sky was grey and overcast, and this persistent dull weather did not particularly help my mood. We are in mid-April for crying out loud and the sun ought to be on duty every single day! This is what we are paying taxes for…

But I tried to put on a brave face, got up, and proceeded downstairs. When you cohabit with a cat, you must be willing to tolerate some of its fancies, but you expect the animal to show some common sense. For instance, if you are driving on a country road and come across a cow napping on the roadway, you assume that the beast will get up and let you go. However, a cat is not like a cow and seldom behaves like a cow.

 It has been known for a long time that “Cats can work out mathematically the exact place to sit that will cause the most inconvenience”.

When I went down the stairs, Lola was indeed lounging on one of the steps and showed no intention of moving. So, I tried to negotiate my way through without disturbing her, and I inadvertently stepped on her tail (an action that she protested loudly) and I unfortunately twisted my left ankle.

I am now partially incapacitated and can barely move, even with the help of a cane. A very painful and distressing situation. Lola might hire a lawyer and sue me for negligence, but fairly, ladies and gentlemen, is it entirely my fault? Should I have stopped and patiently waited for her to move, or was I legally entitled to proceed?

So, here is what I want. First, some sincere apologies. I know that a stepped-on tail can be painful, but so is a twisted ankle. And I don’t believe that a stepped-on tail is as distressing and as disabling as my injury. So yes, I want sincere apologies and a semblance of contrition… But I also realize that both things will probably be difficult to obtain.

Reflecting upon this incident, I think that cats are usually happier than humans.
“One reason cats are happier than people is that they have no newspapers.” Gwendolyn Brooks and they wisely shun television. Being oblivious to bad news keeps them more serene and relaxed than informed news junkies.

The lesson to be learned from this story is that to live a happy life, one should try to emulate a cat’s lifestyle. This includes finding a way to obtain free shelter and food, getting enough sleep, engaging in moderate physical activity such as yoga, and most importantly, enticing a preferably naive and devoted butler to work for you.

Alain

What makes some plain-looking people likable? For me, it is wit “a natural aptitude for using words and ideas in a quick and inventive way to create humor.”

 Regrettably, wit seems to be a scarce commodity among many of today’s world leaders. Instead of wit, some resort to hurling crude insults in response to critical comments.

But insults are a poor substitute for wit and are used primarily by people of limited intelligence and imagination. As I once read, perhaps there should be a licensing system for politicians, akin to that of doctors, lawyers, or pilots. After all, why should politicos not be subjected to some critical tests before leading the nation?

Now, if I had to choose between a beautiful woman and a witty one, I would probably go for the witty one. Beauty fades with time, while wit endures and provides lasting enjoyment.

“Wit seduces by signaling intelligence without nerdiness.” ― Nassim Nicholas

Indeed, wit demands intelligence and quick thinking. A physical blow may leave a temporary mark, but a witty quip can leave a lasting impact, by permanently disabling a politico’s showboat.

“Mr. Attlee is a very modest man. Indeed, he has a lot to be modest about. “ Winston Churchill

I have always been seduced by wit, and especially by Winston Churchill’s oratory skills.

“A good speech should be like a woman’s skirt; long enough to cover the subject and short enough to create interest.”― Winston S. Churchill

 “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend … if you have one.”— George Bernard Shaw(to Winston Churchill)
“Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one. Winston S. Churchill

 “Nancy Astor: “Winston, you are a drunk!”
Winston Churchill: “And you, madam, are ugly. But I shall be sober in the morning.”

 The Middle East, Ukraine, Yemen…. All these terrible conflicts could be easily resolved by some leaders’ public debates, hosted by luminaries such as Simon Cowell or Sharon Osbourne.

 So, what do you say? Should we give it a go? Well, maybe… Putin sounds like a sourpuss to me and would be no match for amusing people like Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, or Marjorie Taylor Greene.

Ta Ta For Now

Alain

The leader is always right!

But seriously, can anybody always be right? It sounds a little far-fetched to me, but it seems that some special people possess this uncanny ability. In the Thirties for instance, Benito Mussolini (Il Duce ha sempre ragione) was one of those. He was always right… so said his supporters.

“A basic slogan in Fascist Italy proclaimed that Mussolini was “always right” (Il Duce ha sempre ragione). Endless publicity revolved about Mussolini with newspapers being instructed on exactly what to report about him.” Wikipedia

Always being right is a tough job, but it seems that somebody will always be willing to sacrifice him/herself for the good of the nation. The new messiah usually surrounds himself with ardent devotees who like a Greek chorus repeat and praise all his actions Ad Infinitum.

In the eyes of his supporters, the leader is always right… regardless of how outrageous his declarations can be. Because a devotee doesn’t judge; he only endorses. That is what faith can do. It also requires his adherents to wear blinders, so that they wouldn’t be tempted to stray away from the righteous path.

Selling books, even Bibles also helps a great deal. Because If it is written in a book, it must be true, isn’t it?

Of course, embellishing the facts is also part of the game. In any crusade, some exaggeration is permitted, even condoned. Sticking strictly to the facts is considered naïve and even dangerous. Fibbing is regarded as a “poetic license” and is part of this catechism.

Hyperbole is also accepted and even admired:

“Let us have a dagger between our teeth, a bomb in our hands, and an infinite scorn in our hearts.” Benito Mussolini

 “There has never been anything like it, this great movement of ours. Never been anything like it, and perhaps there will never be anything like it again.”???

 “We are going to make our country great again!”

 It sounds good, doesn’t it? But will democracy be an inherent part of this glorious package? Before committing, read the fine print very carefully!

Alain