Au Cochonnet Marin

Hello, my young friends! Uncle Alain here, ready to sprinkle some wisdom on your unrealistic expectations.

Let’s talk movies, for example… Yes, they can be fun, flashy, full of car chases, and kisses galore. But let’s not kid ourselves— bad movies are like candy: syrupy, addictive… and fattening…

Take parking, for example. In movies, our hero zooms through traffic and finds a parking spot right in front of his objective. In real life? The likelihood of such a miracle in a cosmopolitan city is practically nil… unless you are a VIP… or own the block. It would be far more believable to have this person dropped off by a cab. Or just… walk in. Yes, some people still do that.

Movies often depict characters performing great feats of strength or agility that defy the laws of gravity. I would not recommend imitating any of those tricks before getting some serious practice… and health insurance. The likelihood of a serious mishap is as obvious as a full moon. James Bond is invulnerable… and interchangeable. You are not. Give some thought to the idea before jumping off the first floor of a building to escape your irate mother.

In reality, if you sprain an ankle, you’ll be waiting in Urgent Care until the next ice age. And if this happens during a weekend, be courteous! Don’t call doctors at inconvenient times… It is really bad form. I will share a little secret with you. On weekends, qualified doctors generally go into hiding until Monday.

In rom-com movies, everybody is always smiling, and there is always a happy ending. Life is a tidbit more demanding than that, my little friends. I think that anybody dreaming of matrimony ought to take a special course to make sure that you and your inamorata are on the same wavelength.

In this respect, I think that arranged Indian marriages are more lucid and realistic than Hollywood fabrications. In-laws are always wise and caring. And anyway, I prefer Bollywood dancing to square dancing …

Movies are a powerful form of storytelling that can entertain, inspire, and educate. However, children need to understand that what they see on screen is almost always a twisted version of reality.

Children listen to me! Don’t ever believe what you see in movies! – They are facades made of cardboard. Instead, enjoy some creative and imaginative experiences while making a clear distinction between fantasy and reality.

And let’s be sensible… on Christmas night, Santa Claus doesn’t travel in a reindeer sleigh… Too far-fetched! As grown-ups know, he uses a fancy drone equipped with a powerful GPS. It makes way more sense, doesn’t it? Don’t believe what you see in movies… or even freshly minted documents such as this one.

Happy to be of service, kids!

Uncle Alain

 

Yesterday was Pétanque Day in Marin County, and the event (Chosen Doubles) attracted 22 teams from across the region, each contributing their unique skills and strategies to the field.

Although the day was bright and sunny, a perfidious cold wind was waiting in ambush and took many players by surprise. Those who came wearing a “springy” outfit had to quickly retreat to their cars to add a few more layers to their outfits.

And the light was unfortunately not what I would have wanted. Despite the bright sunshine, the clarity of the pictures was compromised by too many sharp color contrasts. As photographers know, overcast conditions often provide better lighting for capturing clear and crisp images. But no matter what, as a trooper, you have to go with the flow.

The tournament attracted many formidable players. Not in any particular order, I noticed Wolfie/Hans Kurz (The flying aces) Kevin Evoy/Ed Porto, (both excellent pointers and shooters) Michelle Dang (excellent shooter)/Christophe Sarafian (the Enigma) Janice Bissonnette (excellent pointer)/Kham Chounalamany (the Destructor), Chan Xiong/Peter Mathis (B-52s) … any of those could come on top. Unfortunately, my aching back did not allow me to record the final results and memorialize the winners’ pictures.

Success in a pétanque tournament requires more than just technical proficiency. It demands a combination of skill and mental fortitude. But above all, having a “refrigerated brain” is key to victory.

This term refers to the ability to control one’s emotions when under fire. Whether winning or losing, maintaining composure is crucial. When you play, you should close your ears and focus solely on the task at hand.

Believing that victory is possible until the very last minute is another essential element. It works like faith, when you believe, you can do the impossible. Staying calm, managing stress, and avoiding impulsive decisions are fundamental.

By the way, this resolution also works in a marital squabble; it is imperative to remain cucumber-like to avoid self-destruction.

Concours:
1st place: Peter Marthis & Chan Xiong
2nd place: Wolfie & Hans Kurz
3rd place: Bernard Passemar & Tamara Efron (by forfeit)

Consolante:
1st place: Rohn Rrolfes & Holly Sammons
2nd place:Rohn Rrolfes & Holly Sammons (yes)

Alain

Pictures of the winners and final results, compliments of Christine Cragg.
Bonnes vacances en France Christine and Larry!

Since January 2025, America has embraced a new institution known as the “New Royal Court.” Simply put, it is a group of controversial individuals riding the coattails of a bullish individual.

A motley assembly of characters adorns this court—each more eccentric than the next. These courtiers are not individuals of noble birth or exceptional talent, but rather a medley of influencers, media moguls, and opportunistic politicians. Their chief pursuit is not the state’s welfare, but the art of pleasing the KING and securing personal gains.

At the helm of this new institution is the KING, whose ability to juggle promises, policies, and public opinion is bewildering. The KING’s most astute skill is the delivery of grandiloquent speeches that promise utopian futures while conveniently overlooking the problems created by his reckless policies.

The courtiers are adept players in this dangerous farce. They engage in bouts of feigned loyalty and sycophancy, each vying for proximity to the KING. Their discussions, often held in hushed tones behind closed doors, revolve around devising strategies to outmaneuver one another, all while crafting an illusion of unity and purpose.

The New Royal Court serves as a masterclass in the art of distraction. Public attention is meticulously directed away from substantive issues and toward trivial spectacles. Events are staged with great fanfare—mock trials, lavish banquets, and ceremonial decrees—designed to keep the masses blissfully unaware of the machinations at play.

The New Royal Court is a satire of governance, a parody of justice, and a caricature of representation. It thrives on bombastic promises, revels in absurdity, and perpetuates chaos. As citizens, we are both its audience and its victims, compelled to watch the melodrama unfold while ultimately bearing its consequences.

Our British cousins overseas share many of our beliefs and sincerely express their loyalty by singing “God Save the King”. But theirs, is an old monarchy honed by time. The king is not authorized to make any decisions without the approval of an often raucous Parliament.

What happened to all the guardrails established by our prudent, forward-looking forebears?

Alain