New fashion interlude

Approved. Can wear short shorts.

We are facing another heatwave and people are shedding their garments like Florida strippers. Shorts and bare legs are appearing everywhere, but often with mixed results alas.

It is definitely not my intention to body shame anybody, but rather to caution people about the pitfalls of fashion. Let’s face it, few people look good stark naked or even lightly dressed; and before stepping out in your short shorts, spend a few minutes in front of a full view mirror. And turn around and look critically at your tush, because if you don’t, other people will… often negatively.

Most people are not equal opportunity mannequins, and many would fare much better fully clothed than partially undressed.

“I have a body like a mannequin. I must, because instead of women trying to get me naked, they only want to see me with clothes on.” –Jarod Kintz

It is of course everybody’s prerogative to be comfortable and to dress as they please, but a first glance is all it takes to pronounce a “guilty” judgment.
You should not dress according to fashion magazines, but in the function of the body that you inherited. If you have fat thighs, I beg you, don’t wear short shorts. It hurts people’s eyesight, especially mine after very recent cataract surgery.

Some lucky people (I hate them) can wear anything and look great. But most of us peons, have got to think twice before trying to emulate the showbiz crowd. We, common mortals, have to remain modest… so have ordained Gods.

“Clothes are not Botox. Wearing a miniskirt does not take 10 years off your face.” – Stacy London

But if the deities smiled on you, and if they blessed you with great legs or a superb “derrière », flaunt it. I was about to say “You will make everybody happy” but on second thought, you might spoil the day of hundreds of women who are not that blessed.
Of course, I am speaking as a member of the brotherhood of men, but keep in mind that women can be much more scathing than men. And hell has no fury like a woman scorned…

Out of sheer charity, I have been thinking of opening a street booth, (just like Lucy van Pelt of Peanuts’ fame), to advise women of what not to wear. But on second thought I will recommend a much better-qualified individual. Her name is Abi and she is running a fashion blog called “Update your style”. Sneak a peek, I guarantee that she will provide you with good advice.

Freelance Fashion Advisor

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