An hour at the café

Some people go to a coffee shop for sustenance (how silly) while some others push the silliness even farther by showing up with a laptop and pretending to work.
How ridiculously ostentatious!
IMG_9490Unless you are a Cro-Magnon you go to a “café” to see and be seen.
True aficionados go there to loaf and do some serious people watching. Never mind the grub or the pretend labor. People watching require your undivided attention.

You might no be aware of it, but your body, your clothes and the way you move reveals a lot about you.

As a male Homo sapiens I naturally pay more attention to the feminine figure than to the male anatomy, but I am not to say that I never look at men. They can be as equally interesting or dopey as women.
For instance, the sight of freakish looking bodybuilders leaves me generally puzzled. What are they trying to compensate for? and are women attracted to mutants?

Women can be divided in two broad (no pun intended) categories: those competing (looking for a man… or woman) and those retired from competition.
The retirees usually look drab and unattractive. They gave up competition a long time ago and don’t care about their appearance anymore.

But in the game of love and sex, there is no mandatory retirement age and so-called “cougars” are a prime example of this phenomenon.
A middle-aged woman can be as attractive (and often is) as a young chick and young men will go for it, especially if on top of their tangible assets (perceptible by touch) these wild animals also boast financial assets.

In the low intensity conflict of attraction and conquest, women traditionally rely on two high-grade weapons: the twins and the caboose. If nature proved stingy in those departments, they will not hesitate to pay good money to enhance those features.

Many enterprising young women eager to advertise their wares take “selfies” of their assets to verify that they are prominently displayed. Some will even post them on the Internet for wider distribution.

Some bodies literally shriek, “look at me” while some others say, “I gave at the office”.

If they have an attractive bottom, some women will often wear leggings to emphasize its shape.
If they have a big bosom they will wear tight fitting clothes to show it off.
Some women will wear a diamond to repulse unwanted advances and some will sport tattoos to lure unorthodox characters.

Everything is fair in love and war. If you have got it, it is not against the Geneva Convention to use it to your advantage.
Even in Iran, the girls are itching to show their stuff but the pious guardians of Iranian decency insist on keeping them veiled and cloistered.
They underestimate the power of the “wily” sex.
I am convinced that someday soon Iranian women will use these very veils to hang their persecutors from lampposts.

In the fine art of people watching, like a good Private Eye you do not stare. It is unprofessional.
Americans are still new at this game and they are prone to gross errors: they stare instead of glancing. This is not cool.

In this intricate ballet the “watchor” pretends that he is not looking and the “watchee” pretends that she is not observed.
But while not overtly acknowledging the fact that she caught your fancy, the ”watchee” cannot help but inwardly exult.
By George, I still got it!

An hour at the local café is more stimulating than three hours in a conventional think tank.



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