Television desperation

Watching TV is the lazy way of reading, and the older I get, the lazier I become. I used to be a voracious reader, but now I feed on much lighter fares. I rely mainly on TV and my computer to inform me about the latest government follies.

Alas, I have become some kind of a couch potato… especially on rainy nights. If you didn’t know, watching TV with a warm cat nesting on your thigh is an extremely pleasurable experience.

But repelled by television ever-increasing ads and mediocre fares, I have forsaken the networks and taken refuge on channels such as Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and YouTube.

I now subsist mainly on movies… but most of them alas, turn out to be turkeys. Worn out plots and bad acting. In desperation, I have become omnivorous. I am now a nocturnal raccoon feeding on movie refuses.

My diet consists of an amalgam of English, French, Russian, Korean, Indian, Turkish and Hispanic flicks. And there are plenty of them. It seems that TV honchos went on shopping sprees and bought busloads of cheap machine-produced flicks.

The Russian “films” are the worst. They have ridiculous plots with no continuity whatsoever. In one scene the hero brings flowers to the girl… in the next, he is a crazy maniac trying to strangle her. Очень плохой!
The only saving grace are the girls… always good looking.

I wonder how such movies can be made. The purpose of making a film if I am not mistaken is to tell a good story that will please many people. They, in turn, will brief their friends about it, and the movie will be a great financial success; it will allow producers, directors and actors to buy as much opiate concoctions as they little hearts desire.

But if the movie is a flop, no profit will be made. If there is no profit, the product will fail and be discontinued right? But it does not seem so. Flops are still churned out with a dull regularity. I must be missing something.

So, what do I want in a movie, are you going to ask?

Well, to start with I want a clear image and a very understandable dialogue. No mumbling, s’il vous plait. I want a credible plot with fairly talented actors, and I would like my heroes to be engaging. Also, spare me highly forgettable songs for each sequence.

Last but not least… please, pretty please, give me an unambiguous ending. Not a French-like finish that leaves you baffled and frustrated.

Is it asking too much? I don’t think so.


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