Au Cochonnet Marin

Everybody likes a good story, that’s why gossip rags, scandal sheets, magazines, books, and movies sell so well. The world is hungry for stories, the juicier, the better.

“Storytelling: the world’s second oldest profession.” ~ Danny Harris

But a good story must have a head, a body, and a tail. In other words, it must have a beginning, a mid-point, and an end. AND, above all, it absolutely must have a denouement, a good or bad conclusion where everything is explained or resolved. If your narrative does not fit these criteria, or if the end is ambiguous, it is not a good story.

Last night I started to watch a French-speaking flick (Nos batailles) with a promising beginning. It was a story about an average working guy employed by a fulfillment center looking suspiciously like Amazon. Everybody looks harried and under pressure. The guy is married, with 3 children, and seems to have a happy home life. He is also a company team leader, concerned with the fair treatment of his team. He sometimes works late, trying to resolve some employee’s disputes.

One evening he comes home to discover that his wife is gone. She packed some belongings, left the children behind, and vanished without leaving any clue about where she went or why she left. The rest of the movie is spent watching the man going berserk trying to find out where his wife went and wondering if she is ever coming back.

But like many modern French stories, the end of this tale was extremely disappointing. It was disappointing because, after about 90 minutes of suspense, we were left wanting, hungry for closure. We never saw the wife again and were never told why she left and whether she would ever return.

The French seem to specialize in this kind of sadistic ending. A little bit like an inconclusive roll in the hay that leaves both partners frustrated and angry.

And last night this is exactly how I felt. Disappointed and angry. Because even after you go to sleep, your mind does not necessarily follow suit. It remains alert, groping for answers. In any movie, I want to know who killed the old lady and why. Was it the maid, the butler, or even the cop? I don’t care who did it, I just want to know who and why. Fair is fair.

Just imagine telling a bedtime story to a young child, and after 30 minutes of colorful details, you close the book and tell the kid to go to sleep. This is a clear case of mental cruelty, punishable by literary impeachment.

I don’t necessarily want a happy ending. I just want a good story with a well-thought-out, rational conclusion… so sue me…

Alain

Undeterred by the specter of Covid-19 (and the maddening, outrageous shortage of vaccines), pétanque is alive and well. Despite its macabre reputation, the virus might inadvertently have reinforced the bonds shared by all club members.

After months of forced isolation, everybody (included our pets) craves human contact, and open space… and pétanque is the ideal activity to fulfill those cravings.
Besides the healthy exertion provided by this discipline, pétanque also dispenses a much-needed dose of adrenaline and congeniality. Many come to the field to play, but also to relieve stress.

Today, when you play pétanque, you have to wear a mask, but unlike many other sports, you don’t make body contact with anybody. And talking about close proximity… during the pandemic, some people have used sex to relieve the stress. But did they wear a mask during this interlude? According to the experts, it would be safer to do so. Some people think that it adds spice to the occasion, but altogether most everybody agrees that pétanque is safer than sex… maybe a tad less stimulating.

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Skip kissing and consider wearing a mask when having sex to protect yourself from catching the coronavirus, Canada’s chief medical officer said on Wednesday, adding that going solo remains the lowest risk sexual option in a pandemic.

And for statistic lovers, pétanque burns way more calories than a romp in the sack. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, “the average bout of sexual activity lasts for only about six minutes” while a good round of pétanque can last between 3 or 4 hours, even more for some.

Lately, due in good part to Christine’s (our venerable president) recruiting efforts, we have seen a notable increase in new members. In the last few months, at least 10 women have joined our club, and some have become steady fixures on our field.

One especially comes to mind. Her name is Ann, and besides being a warm, funny human being, she now eats and breathes pétanque. She is eager to learn and has tremendously improved her game since she appeared on the field. When the time comes, she will make a solid tournament partner.

To sum it up, pétanque is alive and well, and growing in popularity… especially among women. Which is a good thing because…

“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

Those people, as irritating as they can be, are the indispensable addition to our club.

Alain

Why are you writing a blog? some people ask me…

The answer is simple and complex at the same time….
Blogging, especially today, is akin to a safety valve. When the pressure of the world closes in on you, you carefully open that valve and let some steam out. This mechanism prevents you in times of crisis from exploding and harming somebody.
I daresay that If there were more bloggers in the world, there would be fewer homicides.

Today, even though we have a new commander in chief, there are still many things to be mad about. My latest beef has been with Kaiser Permanente and its flagrant inability to provide vaccines for its membership… my blog is my way of venting.

I cannot comprehend why Kaiser with 12.4 million members does not have enough clout to procure vaccines for at least half of its membership. If it was a two-bit outfit I would understand, but 12 million people…

In a recent bulletin, Kaiser said:

“Based on current supply, it is estimated that the current prioritized populations will take a few months to vaccinate. We expect vaccine supply to increase over time so that all adults can get vaccinated by late 2021.”

Thank you, Big K, for this very comforting bit of news.

They say Moderna and Pfizer’s vaccines are in short supply, but those are not the only vaccines available. There are some others.
The American press has had a lot of fun deriding the Russian Sputnik V vaccine, but as it turns out, it is “91.6% effective against symptomatic Covid-19 and 100% effective against severe and moderate disease.”

“The vaccine is already approved in Russia, Belarus, Serbia, Argentina, Bolivia, Algeria, Venezuela, Paraguay, Turkmenistan, Hungary, UAE, Iran, Guinea, Tunisia, Armenia, and the Palestinian territories. Sputnik V has so far been administered to more than 2 million people worldwide.”

So, if there is a shortage of Western approved vaccines, what prevents outfits like Kaiser to purchase the “commie” vaccine? Politics? Is it better to have millions of people perish rather than purchasing stuff from Putin and his cronies? I don’t think so.

So, this so-called shortage is as usual artificial and hamstrung by politics and money.

And my statement is definitely not as outrageous as congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene “calling for Pelosi to be shot in the head, claiming that the California wildfires were started by a Jewish space laser, and harassing a survivor of the Parkland school shooting.”

And the above my friends is partly why I write a blog.
After getting this off my chest, I definitely feel better and resigned (one more time) to wait a little longer to get my shot in the arm, thank you.

Alain

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