Au Cochonnet Marin

A few decades ago, when I formally took possession of my new machine, I was thrilled. It worked extremely well and required very little maintenance. This was a very good thing because at the time I did not know what the word meant.

In many respects, my machine bore many similarities with the iconic Citroën 2CV (La Deuche). It was made in France, it had a compact but sturdy body, it was frugal, and it was extremely versatile. And it was meant to last. And by George, it did! It served me well for many years. I took it to many places and exposed it to many different (often scary) situations; we always came out smelling like a rose, without any scratch.

I used the machine (and probably abused it) somewhat carelessly. But it endured… Until a few years ago when it started to show some wear and tear. I had to take it to some clinic for a complete physical. Technicians started to mention and even emphasize the word “maintenance”, a term foreign to all whippersnappers like me.

Only old fogies care about maintenance, isn’t it? Young people are impervious to decay and don’t give a hoot about maintenance. We don’t need no stinky maintenance!

But with time, you start to reconsider your actions. The old fogies might have known something that we didn’t… Was it possible? I discovered that some parts of my machine were worn out and in need of repair. I was told for instance that a tooth in my mouth had to be pulled out and replaced with an implant.

After all these years of faithful service, my machine deserved a break. Then a few months later. I discovered that I had some cataract in my right eye. Then I started to experience a nagging backache. Little by little, I was made aware that my now older machine did not perform as well as when it was in its prime.

What happened? I don’t feel old, but it seems that my machine is balking at accomplishing the simplest tasks. The nerves… It looks like I need a new one. As an Amazon fan, I look forward to the days when you will be able to order some new body parts online. Amazon, I need a new kidney… Yes sir, thank you for your order. It will be on your doorstep tomorrow morning!

You should not laugh. Who would have ever believed that you could purchase almost anything online with the click of a mouse?
But don’t ever neglect maintenance. If you want your machine to keep running smoothly, don’t scrimp and start early! Pamper your machine and you won’t have to order new parts from Amazon for a long time.

Alain

A few decades ago, it was very fashionable for women to wear perfume. No woman on the go would leave her house without a touch of the magic elixir, and the scent of various fragrances permeated the air.

The smell of these fragrances used to be as familiar as the aroma of freshly cut grass, but no more. The politically correct vigilantes saw to it. According to them, chemical fragrances could trigger all kinds of debilitating ailments in some people and should be banned… at least in public buildings.

And so it went. Scent-free policies were established and implemented in the workplace and the smell of perfume almost completely disappeared. Personally, I don’t mind being subjected to it… but up to a point.

You need to remember that above all, perfume is a weapon. A subtle one, but still a weapon. It has been used for ages by women to soften their target’s defenses…  but not to kill them. Like any weapon, it should be handled carefully and judiciously. You don’t use a machinegun to kill a rabbit, and you don’t douse yourself with perfume to be noticed.

“If I can smell you before I see you, you definitely have too much of something on.”

Subtlety is always the key. But some people don’t understand self-restraint… especially in America where bigger always seems to be better.

This brings us to our recent encounter with a couple a middle-aged woman. We knew that they were in our table’s vicinity way before we saw them. The scent was overwhelming…. I don’t know if it was meant to cover some unpleasant body odor, but it was very potent. Enough to subdue anybody in a radius of 5 meters. After a full year of pandemic, you would think that people know the meaning of social distancing… but these two women obviously didn’t or didn’t care.

“User discretion doesn’t cut it for some people. Having a perfume spray measurement guide should do just fine. Something like a mechanical lock that jams the spray from working after 3 to 4 puffs.”

Don’t get me wrong, I love the aroma of a good perfume, but it has to be used sparingly. A touch of it works like a small wink. It is alluring when it is done discreetly, but it is disturbing when done in excess.

Most of us are too poor to buy cheap stuff. If you invest in some perfume, splurge and purchase a proven brand. A fragrance identifies you; buy a cheap one, and you will be seen as cheap; get a nice one and you be remembered as classy.

Alain

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Some things might have slowed down a bit during the pandemic, but everything did not come to a complete standstill. And interestingly enough, it seems that the interest in pétanque (especially among women) has increased significantly since the covert invasion of Covid-19.

In the pétanque sphere, even though we have not had any tournaments for a while, the beat still goes on. Games are played everywhere, and attendance has not wavered. Some people, I have been told, are so addicted to the game that they keep playing (with the help of flashlights) even after the sun has had the impertinence to disappear.

I have been playing fairly regularly, even though a stubborn backache has prevented me lately from any energetic participation. But fortunately, I have a second passion to fall back on, and my “lumbago” has not stopped me from (figuratively speaking) shooting targets of opportunity.

When I am not playing, I am likely to roam the field with “Sneaky Pete” my very versatile little Canon camera, and catch players in the act of being themselves.  They are never more natural than when totally absorbed by the game.

When taking pictures, I also look for flair and unusual situations or expressions. Form, even though it is not indicative of superior performance, is esthetically more pleasing to watch than some unstylish execution. But in general, a fluid delivery is generally more effective (and attractive) than a clumsy one.

Since one picture is thought to be worth a thousand words, I will stop talking and offer instead a little collection of pictures recently taken in the San Rafael pétanque field. If you don’t like your form, it probably means that you need to improve your game and generally speaking throw your boule higher in the air. Boules are like geese; they like to fly high and fast.

Since Easter is around the corner, I cannot leave you without making a corny joke about it. So here goes:

Q: What did the Easter Bunny say to the carrot?
A: It’s been nice gnawing you!

Happy Easter and Passover everybody!

Alain

PS: to watch the photo album, click on “My photos

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