Au Cochonnet Marin

In America, thieves prey on banks or jewelry stores, but in France, especially during the Holidays season, they have more important priorities.  They target foie gras, a delicacy without which the French could not decently enjoy their traditional reveillon.

“Resisting a beautiful chocolate cake or a wonderful foie gras is as difficult as (the idea of) saying no to Paul Newman.” Diane von Furstenberg

It has been so bad, that the police have been mandated to patrol the areas (especially Dordogne) where the foie gras is produced and sold. In the eyes of the French, stealing truffles, oysters, or foie gras is a capital sin equal superior to gluttony, sloth, envy, wrath, lust, pride, and greed all put together.

While Americans are most concerned about trivial matters such as the cost of health care, violent crime, gun violence, climate change, and illegal immigration, the French right now fret mainly about vacations (winter and summer) and foie gras. To each their own.

But is foie gras ethical? I think not and I could easily do without it. The gavage of geese is cruel and inhuman, and in many countries such as Austria, Croatia, the Czech Republic, Denmark, Finland, Germany, Italy, Luxembourg, Norway, and Poland, or following interpretation of general animal protection laws in Ireland, the Netherlands, Sweden, Switzerland, Turkey, and the United Kingdom have banned its production.

Foie gras production has been outlawed in the state of California and New York City, but it remains legal all over the US.

Do all French crave foie gras? No, especially the younger generation more concerned with the environment and animal rights.

“Late in 2003, the French group Stopgavage (“Citizens’ Initiative for the banning of force-feeding”) published the Proclamation for the Abolition of Force Feeding, which asks justices to find foie gras production practices a violation of existing animal welfare laws. For this manifesto, Stopgavage claims the support of over eighty French animal rights and welfare associations, over a hundred such associations from 25 other countries, and over 20 thousand individual signatories.” Wikipedia

 Personally, I say the heck with the foie gras and the bûche de Noël. I love animals and I am plump enough. Instead of Fat Liver, I will celebrate with oysters and some other non-cruel delicacies. I have never heard oysters scream when I open them, and that’s good enough for me.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all.

Alain

Soccer, with over 3.5 billion fans around the globe is arguably the world’s most popular sport. More than 20 million people play it in more than 140 countries.

Fifty years ago, soccer was almost totally unknown in the US, but today it is more popular than baseball, and well ahead of American football. And as a welcome development, it has also been successfully adopted by women who demanded (and are receiving) equal pay for their achievements.

The sport’s growing popularity must have something to do with the fact that it has rather simple rules and that anybody can play. But it is also a sport that ignites passions to a degree seldom seen in other disciplines. As already witnessed in some games of the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, individuals will unabashedly scream, cry, or even pray without any shade of embarrassment.

Next Sunday, Argentina will face France in the finals of the Soccer World Cup. “If the 2022 final does continue its expected surge in viewing figures, a total worldwide figure of 1.5bn does not seem unrealistic on December 18.”

It means that, if I am correct, almost 1/10 of the world’s population will stop whatever they were doing to watch the clash of the soccer titans. Do not expect anything major (even sex) to be accomplished anywhere while the game is on.

French President Emmanuel Macron was present for the semi-finals and will undoubtedly stay in Qatar to watch the finals. The French, generally speaking, are a bunch of rabble-rousers who seldom agree on anything, but this Sunday they will present a unity seldom seen in the land of Foie Gras and Champagne.

I will definitely watch this game, and despite the fact that I am a confirmed atheist, I will pray (in my own obscure way) for the victory of the French team. I just hope that a win for either group won’t be settled by an (unfair) and almost unstoppable penalty kick.

Who is going to win? Will the Argentinian Sun cofound the Gallic Rooster?

« Les prévisions sont difficiles surtout lorsqu’elles concernent l’avenir. » 

If with the inestimable help of Hugo Lloris, the French team succeeds, they will undoubtedly be feted in a glorious parade on Les Champs Élysées in Paris… and social strikes will be averted for at least a few weeks.

Allez les Bleus! Montjoie Saint Denis!

Alain

Hello Pétanque friends and welcome to my world.

My topic today is “cauchemar” (nightmare), a terrifying, traumatic dream that will leave you shaken and scarred for a long time.

Imagine for a minute that you are playing in a pétanque tournament; you are part of a Triplette team, and you are the designated shooter. You are good and your teammates (and fans) rely on you for bringing home the bacon.

You have reached the finals and you are a point away from victory. You just need to remove a pesky boule, standing about 9 meters away from you. An easy shot for an experienced player.

The dozens of spectators present are ready to celebrate. You walk slowly to the starting circle, wipe your boule carefully, take aim and let it go. The boule flies in slow motion toward the target… and misses. Merde, merde et trois fois merde!

You feel like you want to disappear and spend the rest of the month in a dark closet. You cannot look at your teammates in the eyes, and they don’t want to look at you.

Well, my friends, if you think that is a bad, traumatic cauchemar, you probably didn’t watch the soccer quarter-finals in Qatar, opposing the French national team to the English national team.

We are in the second half and the “Bleus” are leading 2-1. The English try desperately to score again, but the French defense is tough. They play rough and suddenly the English is awarded a penalty kick after one of their players was thrown to the ground by a French player.

“A penalty kick (commonly known as a penalty or a spot kick) is a method of restarting play in association football, in which a player is allowed to take a single shot at the goal while it is defended only by the opposing team’s goalkeeper. It is awarded when an offense punishable by a direct free kick is committed by a player in their own penalty area. The shot is taken from the penalty mark, which is 11 m (12 yards) from the goal line and centered between the touch lines.”

 A penalty kick is the worse thing that can happen to a team. It is almost a death warrant. It is extremely difficult to stop and most of the time, it is successful.

Harry Kane is a top goal scorer. This shot is only routine for him and here is a chance for the English team to equalize, and maybe win the game. The crowd estimated to be close to 90 000 in the stadium (and 10 billion around the world) holds its breath. Harry (as he should) takes his time, rearranges his socks, and delivers a mighty kick… that flies above the goalkeeper’s cage. The crowd (especially) the raucous English supporters are stunned. Harry Kane falls to his knees and sobs.

This is the ultimate cauchemar and I am pretty sure that it will haunt Harry for a long time. He is a great player, but he will probably be remembered in England as the guy who lost the Soccer World Cup in Qatar in 2022.

I am glad that the French won, but I feel absolutely terrible for Harry. A horrible cauchemar!

Alain