Au Cochonnet Marin

What makes a commodity valuable? It is elementary my dear Watson: it is supply, demand and resale value.

With strong demand, a rare product becomes valuable. And it is usually vanity that drives that process. By virtue of my wealth, says the well-heeled, I can acquire what most people can’t… And I do it, just to show that I can.

The best way to generate value is to provide something lots of people want, and where you have a unique advantage in providing it. 

Every year our club sponsors at least 2 “mixed” (one man & one woman) tournaments. The idea sounds interesting, but due to the scarcity of female players, finding a teammate is always a struggle.

In our club, under the best circumstances, no more than 12 women are available to play. When a mixed tournament is looming on the horizon, every man scrambles to secure a partner, but there are alas few to choose from.

“Necessity is the mother of invention” is an old English expression meaning that when there is a need, there can be a (lucrative) solution. And as a newborn-entrepreneur I have seen the light, and I just realized that I am holding a royal flush in my hand.

Due to her prowess on the field, my wife has become very popular and her re-sale value has increased significantly. She is very much in demand on the pétanque circuit and she is being courted by many players who would like to secure her services for a tournament.

A star does not like to taint her dainty fingers with money, so my wife has tasked me to handle her contracts and bookings. I have never been very good with money but I will try my best to accommodate her.
As her new impresario, besides taking in the money, I will also deal with costumes, backup dancers, light, and music.
I am what you might call her new Colonel Parker.

Of course, Tamara’s fees have gone up appreciably since she won the Bastille Day tournament in Sonoma. But she is still affordable.

If you are dying to shine in a tournament, give me a ring (and bring some cash). Don’t forget that to play well, a diva also needs to be wined and dined before entering the arena.
Last but not least, her trailer will also have to be well-stocked with caviar, vodka, and pickles.

But don’t be intimidated by her fame. She is still down to earth and always willing to share a good laugh with the little people.
And you won’t have to curtsy either.

Call me anytime.

Alain

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” Barbara Johnson

Do you like cookies? Of course, you do. Everybody does… but (as your mother surely told you) beware of sweets offered by strangers… especially in the semi-darkness of the World Wide Web. They could be and often are, tainted gifts. Truth be told, they are miniature trojan horses.
Once you accept them, they will immediately spy and plot against you. This is their main purpose.

I am talking of course about Computer Cookies, the small poisoned files that will rat on you the minute they settle in your computer. They will spill all your beans. They will babble about your lifestyle, your love life and especially what you like and where you are shopping.
Cookies are the Stasi agents of the computer world. Extremely effective and dangerous.

You could, of course, refuse to let them in, but the cookie dealer will then refuse to share any information with you and slam his door in your face.

Recent laws have forced companies to make you aware of the cookies’ threat, but to get what you want, you have to blindly agree with all their conditions.
You have to “accept” a bunch of rules before accessing their websites. A little bit like mindlessly signing 5 pages of obscure “legalese” when making an important purchase.

I shudder to think what the authorities (and the Russians) could do with this treasure trove of information… maybe subverting an electoral process? Nooooo… they could not do that! Could they?

The Internet is a Pandora box… or more accurately, a “chatterbox”. Once opened, it will release many personal facts that should have kept under keys. And once out…

Cookies are addictive. Once you start munching on one, there is no end to it. You are hooked and the bad guys know that. Just try one… they are delicious… what have you got to lose?

Well, if you don’t watch your diet, it could adversely affect your health. Your cyber health that is. And anything dealing with health is expensive, very expensive.

Do you realize how much Amazon knows about you? Jeff Bezos is more informed about me than my wife. He sends me love notes, reminders, suggestions every day of the week. How can you not love such a guy?

In rare moments of lucidity, I think of going on a cyber diet, but this does not last very long. Next thing you know I am surfing the Internet gobbling cookies.

I cannot help it, “cookie” is my middle name.

Alain

On Sunday, August 11^th, La Pétanque Marinière will be hosting a Select Mixed Doubles tournament named the Happy Hurlers.
Put it in your calendar.

The Happy Hurlers if you care to remember, was “le nom de guerre” of a mighty “doublette” consisting of Henry Wesseland Calvert Barron; Henry is sorely missed and we would love to see Calvert again. Incidentally, the Urban Dictionary states that “a Wessel is an awesome person, that’s just all-around great and loved by many! “

Time flies. It has been almost a year since Henry passed away and the pain is still raw. As a low-key individual, Henry elicited affection and admiration for his skills and modest demeanor. He never bragged about his accomplishments and was generous with his smiles and compliments. With Calvert they formed a mighty formation capable of challenging and besting the toughest opponents.

Henry and Calvert were the staples of our club. They both worked hard and played equally hard, but they were not pompous individuals and enjoyed a good hearty laugh.

If I remembered properly, they owned two dogs, and I always believed that anybody who cares for any critter is a better human being that anybody who does not.

So, this tournament, even though it does not bear the name of its alumnus, is a tribute to Henry and Calvert.

I hope that many of you who knew them, will come and share with us a belated tribute to his life, his art, and his infinite good guy aura. They don’t make them like him anymore.
If you own a T-shirt bearing his trademark (Happy Hurlers), flaunt it like a War Pennant.
I will!

Don’t you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken? Terry Pratchett

 My friends and I have spoken his name numerous times. In our hearts, Henry is alive and well. And since Hank was fond of French, I will add “Honi soit qui mal y pense!”

 And remember, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”

Alain