Au Cochonnet Marin

Yesterday, the Bay Area pétanque fraternity was invited to celebrate Lamorinda 30^th anniversary and many devotees eagerly responded to the invite.

Fifty-two players (52) accompanied by family and well-wishers came running… and I am also happy to report that for once, at least 12 members of La Pétanque Marinière found the vigor to attend.

Pascal Gravier (Lamonrida’s president) outdid himself to make this event memorable. He even invited Mike Anderson (Lafayette’s mayor) to throw the first boule of the tournament and the mayor obligingly complied.

“La pièce de résistance” of the event was a giant astonishing birthday cake crafted by “maître-pâtissier” Jean-Claude Etallaz. I hate to use this superlative, but damn, it was awesome! Don’t tell anybody but I had two servings of it.

Tidbits: Daniel Genini completed his 90^th parachute jump. Saperlipopette!
Met Julie Hackett: who introduced herself. Extremely nice and charming young lady.

Now about the tournament!
It was well organized and well-run with the First and Last Names of all participants properly spelled, printed and posted for all to see.

We started playing around 9:30 am and completed 3 timed games before lunch. In the afternoon, as usual, we started to compete for the Concours and Consolante. Tamara and I barely managed to win a single game and were sent packing after our 5^th game.

But this was part of my strategy. After leaving the competition, I put away my boules and unsheathed my camera.

Some people believe that I have the gift of ubiquity, but this not quite accurate. I can only be at one place at a time and you will normally find me where the light conditions are most favorable for photography. If you don’t see yourself in my new photo album, it is probably because you played in a shaded area.

The tournament attracted a bunch of very good players and the competition was fierce. Not being able (yet) to be at two places at the same time, I opted to pay closer attention to the Concours than to the Consolante.

In the semifinals, Peter Mathis and Holly Sammons faced Mickey Coughlin and Barbara Hall. It started very badly for Mickey and Barbara. At one point they were led 3 to 8 by Peter and Holly. It did not look good, but they did not give up. Little by little, they came back to reach 10/11.
At this moment, anybody could have won, but finally, Mathis/Sammons prevailed and won the match 13/10.
One of the most interesting game of the tournament, with all the players, playing extremely well.

In the Concours finals, Peter and Holly came against Fue Vang and Mae Her Vang, the same people who trounced us in the morning.

Fue has an unorthodox style of shooting but can be very accurate; Mae points very well. But against Peter and Holly, they seemed to freeze and were unable to score a single point. Needless to say that Peter shot extremely well and Holly kept her usual steady cool.
The game ended sadly by a Fanny: 13/0.

On the Consolante side, Serge Hanne and Dolzee Austin battled Carlos Couto and Beth Lysten, the same miscreants who beat us 13/4 earlier.

Concours
1^st place: Peter Mathis and Holly Sammons – $ 120.00 for each
2^nd place: Fue Vang and Mae Her Vang – $80.00 each
3^rd place: Mickey Coughlin and Barbara Hall – $60.00 each

Consolante
1^st place: Carlos Couto and Beth Lysten – $48.00 each
2^nd place: Serge Hanne and Dolzee Austin – $32.00 each
3rd place: Jean-Claude Bunand and Liliane Sebban – $20.00 each

Alain

 Enjoy the pictures!

Today the world is full of euphemisms.
For instance, “we are dating” is a nuanced way of saying “we are fornicating regularly”. Nothing wrong with that, considering what a minefield and how traumatic dating really is.

Before actually dating, you have got to find a willing guinea pig. Not easy, unless you are genetically blessed, or unless Bill Gates happens to be a close relative.

For most of us, finding a date is more like looking for truffles. Constant digging, with little to show for your efforts. And you never know who you will have to entertain next… Because in the animal world, a male has to entertain a female before having his way with her.

It is part of the contract that was drawn a long time ago between Adam and Eve. Show me a good time said Eve, and I’ll let you look at my bazoombas.
If you have no special talent though, it’s going to be an uphill battle.

And you have to divide dating in two very distinctive categories. There is the “strictly for screwing” dating and the “finding a life partner” category.

Dating often starts on the wrong footing. The guy looking for a little “mano a mano” with the opposite sex, ends up dating a girl looking for the father of her future brood, or vice versa. Not a good match.

The chances of meeting a compatible mate are astronomically small. You would have to be insanely lucky to stumble upon a girl who likes Swedish movies, Tibetan food, Japanese massages, and tantric sex as much as you do. That’s why cyberspace is the smart way to go when it comes to mating.

You first describe yourself (as impartially as possible), present your credentials, and then state what you are looking for.

“Good looking stud, looking for a generously endowed slut, for meaningless sexual afternoon encounters”.

You cannot go wrong with an ad like this. You are being yourself and laying everything on the table without wasting any time finessing the issue of sex.

If on the other hand, your ad reads like “Artistically inclined young man, looking for young Mormon lady who appreciates refined dining, classical music and Italian Renaissance paintings” chances are that you won’t end up with the well-endowed slut.

Actually, I am sure that thousands of well-endowed sluts appreciate refined dining and classical music… But that’s beside the point.

My perception is that “chance” dating has gone the way of the dinosaurs.
You are better off comparing your objectives with your potential date before starting your campaign. If your stated goal (the motel around the corner) doesn’t coincide with those of the woman you are wooing, go back to the Internet and be a little more specific about your intentions.

The well-endowed Mormon lady is out there, looking for you…

Alain

My brain: it’s my second favorite organ.—  Woody Allen

The brain is an amazing organ. It is a timeless wonder. Unlike mechanical devices, it never stops working, even while you are sleeping. I also read that it remains active ten minutes after you have been pronounced dead… Spoooky!

During the daytime, the brain is busy advising and directing you; but at night, it uses your sleep period as “me-time” and romps wildly like a foal in a meadow. This interval is known as dreaming.

The brain can be passive or active. It is active when you are striving to solve a problem; it is fairly passive when you are looking at something.

Contrarily to common American thinking, sitting at a café is not for gulping a giant cup of coffee or reading a newspaper. The true purpose of this occupation is people watching. People unaware of being observed… in the act of being their true selves.

“This includes speech in action, relationship interactions, body language, expressions, clothing and activities.” 

When people watching, the eyes glimpse, and the brain (according to your personality) passes judgment…

Too skinny… bad outfit… drooping pants… looking unhinged… nice ass… cute dog… how old is this dude? green hair? should not wear yoga pants… jeans with absurd giant tears… good looking dude… big boobs… scary-looking beard… great legs… ugly kid… nice suit… needs bra… must be Republican…

But people watching, just like any discipline, demands practice before being properly executed. The rules are simple but complex at the same time.

First of all, don’t be a boob. Don’t stare.
Scan the surroundings nonchalantly, like a slow pulsing radar. Never gawk, regardless of what you see. A cool people watcher is a good people watcher.
Petting dogs and flirting is allowed… if done with finesse.

So, when life is mistreating you, go to a café, spread your legs and unleash your mind. Let it romp like a puppy and pee on the tulips.

I guarantee that it is 100% more soothing than any over-advertised medication.

Alain