Au Cochonnet Marin

Lamorinda, here we come!

I am 5 minutes away by car from the Marin pétanque court. I can be there in a jiffy… in my pajamas if need be. Other fields, located farther away, require a little more effort; but it is sensible, once in a while, to stray from familiar grounds and mix with different tribes.

Yesterday, after hearing glowing reports about Lamorinda, I drove to Lafayette to investigate this story. This club (on a good day) is located about 45 minutes away from my house, so it requires a little more energy to get there…

Because of traffic, I seldom venture to the East Bay, but life can be full of surprises. Except for the Emeryville corridor, the traffic was fairly light and we were on the field around 11:30 am.
Upon our arrival, we saw about 10 people already playing, but about one hour later, this little band grew to about 30. And this, on an ordinary day!
How do you explain this successful patronage?

First of all, Lamorinda is a welcoming club and its members are very friendly. They promptly put everybody at ease and in a pleasant mood. But this does not mean that they will let you win. Au contraire mon frère !

When it comes to playing, anybody willing to participate puts a boule in a circle and somebody creates teams. But these teams don’t stay together for the entire day. Periodically, squads are recreated and everybody plays with different partners.
At noon, there is a little break, and all sit down to share goodies, laughs and beverages.

After lunch, new teams are formed and games start again. Unlike members of our club, most of the Lamorindians are dedicated players. They came to play and will indulge their passion until nightfall. I suspect though, that later on, some will fall by the wayside and will be collected in the darkness by friends or relatives.

Of course, we did not feel like strangers. Many of the Lamorinda natives were familiar to us and have played with us in the past.
But it seems that (as we are getting older) most of the people are stay-at-home types; they prefer to avoid the traffic hassle and play with familiar people on familiar grounds.

I think that it would be great it if everybody tried once in a while to get behind the wheel and play in a different location. In this respect, I give well-deserved credit to the Sacramento and Fresno people who think nothing of spending a few hours a car to play with us.

Going to Lamorinda was a very positive experience and I will do it again soon. They are excellent players and they have outstanding shooters.
I urge everybody to go there and if you are shy, tell them that Alain sent you.

Enjoy the few pictures I managed to take.

Alain

There is Pétanque, and then, there is pétanque. That is, championship pétanque and casual pétanque.

Although these two events look very similar, they are vastly different.
In competitive pétanque the main only goal is to win. Period. No fancy stuff. Just precise, thoughtful shots. Everybody is concentrating and paying close attention to the game. There is very little (or no) interaction between competing teams.

In pick-up games or casual pétanque, the main purpose is to have fun. And you can (and should) try chancy shots that you would probably avoid in a tournament.

So, what then makes casual pétanque so enjoyable?
First of all, there need to be a good interaction between players. To have fun, all people need to be like-minded and have a good sense of humor. Light bantering, the playful exchange of light remarks, is the seasoning that makes the game entertaining.

Originally, pétanque was a leisurely pastime played between cronies from the same village. It was usually done after lunch, in front of the local café or on the public square. The men (women were not included) played with a cigarette hanging from their lips or tucked behind the ear. They were competing for bragging rights and maybe a “tournée” (a round of drinks) after the game.

Casual games still exist, but very often the participants take themselves too seriously. They play to WIN. Nothing wrong with that, but winning without fun is like having caviar and Champagne without the dancing girls.

Keep in mind fellow “boulonautes” that most games are casual encounters, therefore there is no need to wear a formal outfit, play strictly by the rules and refrain from laughing. Joking (no too much) is part of the action. No laugh, no fun.

Fortunately, we are not playing Islamic pétanque.

Ayatollah Khomeini famously proclaimed: “Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam.”

 Take this you Infidels!

Your goal while playing casual pétanque, is only to force your opponents to “kiss Fanny” and have a good laugh! Prudish losers by the way,  are allowed to kiss Fanny’s derrière with a blindfold.

See you on the field… and pack some laughs!

Alain

“Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you.” Sherman Alexie

Voting Season is in full swing and skeletons all over the country are kicking their heels. They are expecting invitations to the most exclusive balls of the country… the Skeleton’s Masquerade Balls, culminating at the end of the year with the Election Day Masquerade.

Some skeletons (who are usually jolly fellows) have been sequestered in closets for years. They would not mind coming out for a bit of fresh air and a few steps of foxtrot.

Even though they are theoretically dead, they are very much in demand because they always make interesting guests. They have many captivating stories to tell, and they always keep their audiences entertained.

Money and sex are what make skeletons’ stories so fascinating. It usually exposes the true character of individuals preaching moral rectitude while personally indulging in immoral pursuits.

Recently, a French (married) politician named Benjamin Griveaux was tripped by one of his skeletons. Hewas running for mayor of the city of Paris and everything was going smoothly. But suddenly videos and text messages of a sexual nature involving him were published on a social website. Monsieur Griveaux hastily withdrew from the race saying that his family “doesn’t deserve that.”

 If you ever have political ambitions, avoid sexting and shady money deals at all costs. If you don’t, it will, like the Sword of Damocles, hang over your head forever.

The economy is doing well, and so are hackers. They are very popular in political circles and probably very well compensated for their dirty deeds. As proven almost daily, many personal sites are ridiculously vulnerable and susceptible to hacking.

Consequently, if you are hellbent on a political career, the best way to avoid embarrassment is to set all your skeletons free before anybody even knew that you had some. Or give them the Jimmy Hoffa treatment.

I am not presently considering any political run, but the minute I do, I will release all my skeletons at once and ship them to a nice retirement place. I have treated them fairly and I hope that they will return the favor.

Alain