Au Cochonnet Marin

You probably never heard of Boris Ivanovich Fomin, but you ought to.
In 1920, he composed a song called Дорогой длинною (By the long road) with lyrics by the poet Konstantin Podrevsky. This tune subsequently went around the world like wildfire.

The above might not mean anything to you, but this traditional Russian folk song is better known in America as “These were the days” and this might ring a bell. I am pretty sure that everybody has heard this tune in one language or another at least once. In France it was known as “Le temps des fleurs” and it was performed among other artists by Dalida.
In Russia “By the long road” is considered a drinking song and is widely performed everywhere.

My wife helped me to discover a Russian singer who does a fantastic job with this tune. His name is Aleksandr Malinin and I bought at least half a dozen of the songs he performs. I am totally bewitched and I cannot stop listening to him.

The first verse of By the long road goes like this:

You rode on a troika with sleigh bells, 
And in the distance lights flickered.
If only I could follow you now
I would dispel the grief in my soul! 

I consider this to be a rather awkward translation, but it gives you an idea of what the song is about.

Chorus
By the long road, in the moonlight, 
And with this song that flies off, ringing,
And with this ancient, this ancient seven-string,
That has so tormented me by night. 

This by the way (for the conspiracy-obsessed) is not a Russian presidential interference. There is no hidden message here and I am not supplied with any hush money by the Kremlin.  I just love the sound of the Russian language, and frankly, I am tired of contemporary American music. Just repetitive, monotonous, unmelodic crap.

One of my personal challenges during this dreadful pandemic is also to improve my  Russian (I have to know what my wife is plotting with her cronies) and it is a way to “joindre l’utile à l’agréable” (mix business with pleasure).

You can, by the way, hear Aleksandr Malinin on YouTube.

Alain

I just heard a TED lecture about bilingualism, and it reminded me of something I wrote about 10 years ago. Here is a slightly edited version of that story.

Some people are bi. Bisexual, bimanual, bipartisan (disappearing species alas), bipolar, bi-something…  Me, I am just bilingual.
It is a mild affliction caused by prolonged exposure to foreigners; a fairly common condition in America. To avoid this kind of contamination, it is recommended to stay away from the natives, wash your hands often, and cross yourself when you hear something that sounds “étranger.”

Bilingualism is the subconscious ability to speak two languages fluently. It is like having some kind of mental ambidexterity, or like driving a car with a stick shift.
When you drive a “stick” you are not conscious of what you right foot, your left foot, your right hand, or your left hand are doing. You let your limbs do their own thing while reflecting on something else.
The same goes for bilingual people. They let the “bilingual” part of the brain do the talking while giving the monolingual part a rest.

The bilingual phenomenon happens naturally for some, and artificially for others. It happens naturally when parents, both natives of the same foreign land, relocate to another country.
Their children will first hear and absorb their parents’ native tongue, and then they will unconsciously assimilate English simply by proximity with the natives. Without even realizing it, these kids will turn into bilingual bots.

For some, like me, this phenomenon didn’t come naturally. I had to work for it. When I came to America, I spoke some dubious, hesitating English. I was alone, and I had to quickly learn how to communicate with the natives to fend for myself.

When you learn a second language, you instinctively translate into your native tongue everything that you hear and read. One day, shortly after arriving in San Francisco, a storefront window sign caught my attention. It said “Venetian Blinds”. This was easy to translate; I assumed immediately that Venetian Blinds was a charitable organization supporting blind Venetian natives.

As I explored the streets of the city, I noticed this ubiquitous sign again and again and I started to wonder why so many blind Italians had settled in this city. I knew that Bank of America’s founder was Italian, but did he also sponsor all these blind “paisanos” to join him?

Another day I glanced in wonderment at the SF Chronicle’s headline. It said in big bold characters “Cons escape”. The word “con” in French means stupid, dumb. I naturally translated “idiots escape”. I thought that it was a rather strange headline but “when in Rome…” and I accepted the fact that in America even stupid people can escape from a well-guarded prison.
On second thought, if stupid people could escape, what about the smart ones? San Francisco must have been swarming with smart escapees…

To become truly bilingual, you need to discard the translation mechanism and slip into the skin and the mind of a native. Smoking pot and drinking wine might also help. This operation takes a lot of practice but being curious and being a voracious reader also helps.

I remember that the word “cockpit” puzzled me (and still does) for a long time. Did pilots originally fight like mad chickens in the “cockpit”? Everybody knows that large planes have dual controls, but did pilots and co-pilots actually brawl in this cramped space? I am getting goose pimples just thinking about it.

Some words are also misleading. They are “false friends”. They sound and often spell like words you are familiar with, but they have a different meaning. Take the word “sale” for instance. I saw it in the windows of many stores. In French, “sale” means “dirty”. Were all these downtown stores peddling some X-rated stuff? I am not averse to some tasteful smut, but still…

Bilingualism is not a terminal disease and it is not genetically transmitted. Your children, and probably your grandchildren, will probably become totally immune to it.

But if you get a certain buzz speaking and (especially) cursing in the language of your forbearers, indulge in this guilty pleasure. Speak and curse away like Jean Lafitte. It is fun and highly therapeutic.

Alain

I am a TEDx fan. TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) provides informative and entertaining lectures on various subjects and in more than 100 languages.

Even though I watch many English spoken presentations, I remain (unsurprisingly) partial to French speakers. When you have been weaned of your mother tongue, it is a real treat to listen to accomplished lecturers articulating their ideas in a crisp, precise, literate French. Not the kind of street-French that you might hear around your friends or in movies.

Women particularly excel in these presentations. They are smart, lucid, convincing while expressing sometimes difficult notions to accept. And they are not afraid of calmly using four-letter words to buttress their cases.

I recently watched a few lectures dealing with relationships and marriages, and it was illuminating. Most of the people enter relationships in a secondary state called “love.” During this period, they are not being objective. They want to please and will avoid conflicts, even if something is highly irritating to them.

After a while, the fog of love subsides, and the protagonists are starting to see things more clearly. The object of their affection is not perfect and starts to lose his/her shine. And they don’t know how to cope with it. They don’t know because nobody ever taught them how to deal with these kinds of conflicts.
The first reaction of an offended person is usually to hit back. The other person retaliates and that’s when everything starts to unravel.

Before rushing into any kind of amorous relationship, it would be very beneficial for everybody involved to attend some of these lectures. And the great thing about them is that they are free, and you don’t have to go anywhere to watch them. You can stay home, tune to YouTube, and voila…
I am usually watching programs in French or in English, but TEDx is available in a multitude of languages.

In Ted talks, nothing is taboo. The speakers (usually experts in their respective fields) will tackle any subject with brio. And you have to be a good public speaker to do this. Sex, infidelity, swinging, pornography… The very subjects that nobody dared to talk about publicly in the ’50s… especially in communist fighting America… or in Trumpland.
But those things are real and need to be talked about.

TEDx is not only about sex. It is about matters that everybody ought to be knowledgeable about… and are not. And that they often refuse to explore.

Never mind the TV networks and their dull and insipid offerings; TEDx is there and ready for you.
Go for it, and you will be happy you did it.

Alain