Au Cochonnet Marin

“It was so cold I almost got married.” Shelly Winters

Lately, it has been relatively cold in Northern California. Between 40 to 60°F. I say relatively because few people can agree on what you can call cold. Especially in our household.

I consider myself to be a cool, level-headed guy. Yes! When it is hot, I say, “It’s hot” and when it is cold, I say “Il fait un froid de canard!” Just an impartial assessment of the situation.

But my wife has drastically different ideas about this matter. She is always hot when I am cold, and she shivers when I drip in sweat! I have cast some doubts on the condition of her internal thermostat but to no avail.

This condition might have something to do with the fact that she hails from St Petersburg, Russia where the average winter temperature oscillates between 16°F and 26°F. I, on the other hand, grew up 1732 miles (2787 km) from that frozen environment, and I wear fleeced long johns when she is sashaying in flimsy negligees.

But I hold the keys to the Kingdom on that protracted war. I control the house temperature through my smartphone. With the push of a button, I generate cold and heat at will… but not without snide remarks from you know who.

And I am not alone in this fight. In our house, we have a permanent resident called Kate. She is of the feline persuasion and feels the same way about the cold problem as I do. When I turn the heater on, she gives me a big high-five and runs to the closest heating vent to get the maximum benefit from the warm airflow.

If this case comes to court, I know that she will be a very credible witness to buttress my case. I am also considering calling St Petersburg to seek the advice of a Russian psychologist who might be able to diagnostic my roommate’s problem.

We have a fireplace, but we never use it. It is too much work, and wood-burning is bad for the environment anyway. It would also prevent Santa from dropping in and bring me the numerous presents that I requested.

But and I won’t deny it, there are some benefits to cold weather. According to experts, it can help you fight off infections, help you sleep better, and it is supposed to improve your brain functions.

Fine and dandy, but ultimately, nothing beats a shot of vodka (or Cognac) to keep the cold away (or even discourage Covid 19).

Keep warm my friends, it’s cold outside!

Alain

Do I deserve a Like?

I am bored…
Lately, after a significant increase of Covid positivity among the citizenry, the local authorities clamped down on almost everything fun… Cafés, bars, restaurants,  bordellos… Everybody was ordered to close shops.

Right now, besides walking or howling at the moon there is absolutely nothing to do. And alas, when I am bored, I have a tendency to pay a (courtesy)  visit to the fridge… a distraction that I need like a hole in the head.

So, after pondering the situation for a while, I proposed to Tamara, to drive to San Francisco and stroll for a while on the Chrissy Field Promenade Trail. Despite having already walked 4 miles in the early morning, Tamara accepted enthusiastically. The Iron Lady is always game for any physical activity, and a while later we were on our way to the City.

The Marina area was sunny with a slight haze hanging over the bay. During the week, this area is a little less crowded than on weekends, but it was still well attended. And that’s what I like about this place. You can always catch a microcosm of the local population. Joggers, cyclists, nannies, elderly folks, dog walkers, and a multitude of mutts running excitedly by and in the water. This area is civilized, and everybody was wearing masks. There were no belligerent “freedom fighters” dissenters to spoil the mood.

Today, the tide was exceptionally high (something to do with the White House’s stormy atmosphere I have been told) and most of the beach was covered with some foamy white stuff. This did not stop the dogs from chasing each other and taking an occasional dip in the water. I could not help but snap a few pictures, but the light was not propitious and with very few exceptions I didn’t bag any decent shots.

As I said, everybody was wearing a mask and you are starting to take this anomaly in stride. This is the new normal. What is now shocking are bare faces exposing noses and mouths. Those are becoming known as the new nipples of the 21^st century. Decent folks don’t show them… just suggest their presence.

And talking about masks, last night, at our Zoom meeting, I was surprised to see the bare faces of our new members for the first time. It was rather odd. It suddenly occurred to me that Muslim women wearing niqabs must have a lower mortality rate than the shameless floozies daring to show their “nipples” in public.
But please excuse my digression… I was carried away by the flow of my eloquence.

To sum it up, we enjoyed our time frolicking at the beach, and I am (temporarily)  “unbored”.

Alain

“A dilemma is a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones.”

The business community is presently facing such a dilemma. To keep its people alive or face financial ruin. The Covid-19 pandemic is forcing some administrators to make this damnable choice and I understand and sympathize wholeheartedly with both sides of this predicament.

Local authorities are desperately trying to slow down the spread of the virus by restricting attendance to many places of business. But by doing so, it is also signing the death warrant of many small enterprises. Especially during the holiday season when merchants often make 20 to 30% of their annual profit. It is difficult not to feel sympathy for people who are witnessing powerless the slow death of a business that took years to build and sustain.

But while I commiserate with the merchants, I also understand the need to bring to a stop the proliferation of this terrible decease… which by the way is not and never was a “hoax”. Sometimes people need to have a brush with death to admit that they were wrong. And I have seen in the evening news enough contrite intubated patients doing so. Covid 19 is like gangrene. You might have to amputate a limb to keep the patient alive.

We have been told that the cavalry is underway. In the meantime, we just have to circle the wagons, greet our teeth, and get vaccinated as soon as possible. There cannot be any dilly-dallying, time is of the essence.

The quickest way to get back to normal is to bear with the impositions and comply with the scientists’ decisions. If the ship is sinking, regardless of your beliefs, you have to reach for the lifeboats. There is no alternative.

I understand and empathize with those facing this terrible dilemma, but If you want to enjoy a few more years on this planet, get vaccinated the first chance you get. I will.

Alain