Category: Fourre-tout

With the pandemic showing signs of ebbing, will kisses and hugs soon return? It is a little early to tell, but I am confident that they will be back very soon, especially among the Centennials. After a year of forced abstinence, the lads and lassies are eager to resume lips-locking.

Some people, especially the Silent Generation, are not in such a hurry and might resume full smooching at a later date. They would rather start with a “baisemain” which might be less hazardous (but no less thrilling) than a kiss.

I am in favor of preserving the French habit of kissing the hands of ladies. After all one must start somewhere. Sacha Guitry

If you agree, keep in mind that the baisemain needs to be executed correctly to be well received. No prior sanitizing or slobbering on the extended hand. A short inclination of the bust and a butterfly kiss on the offered extremity is the way to do it. To be proper, the gesture has to be short and elegant. If you are not too confident, you might want to practice with your siter, mother or grandma…

But what about kissing between strangers? It is a little more complicated… A protocol might have to be established and endorsed by both parties before restarting this activity…

-Bonjour mademoiselle, can I kiss you?
-Well… maybe after showing me proof of vaccination…
-All right, here it is. Can I also see yours?
-Of course… then can I check your body temperature?
-It is moving up, but yes… can I also check your pulse?
-Yes, and it also seems to be rising…
-I am delighted to hear this…

Then, “Que la fête commence” (Let the festivities begin).

For the faint-hearted, a prudent kissing technique could be “kiss blowing”. Long dormant, almost forgotten, this practice might become popular again. It is quick, easy, and sanitary, and you can do some mass-kissing whenever needed.

After our last draught, you might long to be kissed again. If the urge is overwhelming you could wear a badge saying something like “kisses wanted”. I am pretty sure that eventually, you will find some candidates.

Speaking for myself, if you want to exchange kisses with me, send me a recent picture and a brief resumé detailing your reasons and qualifications. An impartial jury will decide if you fit the bill.

Bisous,

Alain

Vigils, prayers, flowers, candles, speeches, tears… these images of grief show up on our tellies with a dull regularity… and it is a pathetic waste of time. Despite the ongoing gun carnage, nothing of substance is being done to stop this horrendous loss of lives.

Mass shooting in America is endemic, and it will continue until comprehensive laws are passed to restrict the ridiculous availability of firearms. Unfortunately, some politicos are (for very dubious reasons) promoting and allowing the unregulated sale of guns in their states.

Guns are not toys; they are devices specifically designed to kill and they are extremely dangerous. Especially the so-called “assault weapons” (with high-capacity magazines) which should never be sold to anybody but the military.

Before being allowed to purchase a firearm, any individual should provide written proof that he is sound of mind and free of any mental disorder. This is not an outlandish idea. Today, many corporations are routinely asking candidates to take a psychological test before hiring them, and this practice should also apply to any potential gun buyer. You need a license to go fishing, and you should definitely get one to buy a firearm.

Despite the fact that “60% of Americans say gun laws should be tougher” the GOP continues to block any resolution making it more difficult to buy guns.

And why is that? As usual, money is a big factor. Gun sale is a very profitable business that provides a steady income for a multitude of people, including some of our darling Congress representatives.

Lawmakers are not saints, and their integrity is often highly questionable. Being chosen for a position does not mean that the contender is an upstanding citizen. He is often a loudmouth individual backed and financed by an organization that is more interested to promote its causes than seeking public safety.

There are many despicable characters (hello sweet Marjorie) in Congress, and they are an embarrassment to everybody, including their leaders. But as in many other areas, money trumps anything else.

To stop the flow of guns, and the senseless killings, we must pressure balking Congressmen and stigmatize them loudly for their inaction. It would also be a good idea for journalists to investigate who profits from the gun trade and expose them to the public at large. Public shaming works amazingly well to root out and expel stinkers from their lofty positions. It is a very powerful weapon and should be used for the public good whenever necessary.

“Take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.” ~ Elie Wiesel

 Alain

I thought that I possessed a fairly decent vocabulary, but new words are creeping up every day in our speech and I am sometimes at loss to understand their meaning.

Below are some of these newly minted words that  I recently came across.

Crowdfunding: crowdfunding is the use of small amounts of capital from a large number of individuals to finance a new business venture.

Decarceration: release from imprisonment also: the practice or policy of reducing the number of people subject to imprisonment.

Eco-anxiety: persistent worries about the future of Earth

 Fag Hag: a heterosexual woman who seeks out or particularly enjoys the company of gay men.

Froyo: Frozen yogurt

GOAT. Acronym for “Greatest Of All Time.”

Misgendering: to identify the gender of (a person, such as a transsexual or transgender person) incorrectly (as by using an incorrect label or pronoun).

Panpanic: a strong feeling of fear experienced by many people during the covid-19 pandemic, leading to a lack of reasonable thought and action.

Pansexual – emotional attraction towards people regardless of their sex or gender identity.

Rat tamer: a psychologist or psychiatrist, Australian informal

 Regenuary a movement organized in January that encourages people to eat food that is seasonal, local, and produced using regenerative farming techniques.

Sadfishing: a term used to describe a behavioral trend where people make exaggerated claims about their emotional problems to generate sympathy

 Staycation: a vacation spent at home or nearby.

Stretchologist:  someone who helps you improve your posture and become more flexible by showing you how to stretch properly.

Try one of those words with some of your friends or during a job interview. It might impress (or not) some of them…

Alain