Category: Fourre-tout

There is Pétanque, and then, there is pétanque. That is, championship pétanque and casual pétanque.

Although these two events look very similar, they are vastly different.
In competitive pétanque the main only goal is to win. Period. No fancy stuff. Just precise, thoughtful shots. Everybody is concentrating and paying close attention to the game. There is very little (or no) interaction between competing teams.

In pick-up games or casual pétanque, the main purpose is to have fun. And you can (and should) try chancy shots that you would probably avoid in a tournament.

So, what then makes casual pétanque so enjoyable?
First of all, there need to be a good interaction between players. To have fun, all people need to be like-minded and have a good sense of humor. Light bantering, the playful exchange of light remarks, is the seasoning that makes the game entertaining.

Originally, pétanque was a leisurely pastime played between cronies from the same village. It was usually done after lunch, in front of the local café or on the public square. The men (women were not included) played with a cigarette hanging from their lips or tucked behind the ear. They were competing for bragging rights and maybe a “tournée” (a round of drinks) after the game.

Casual games still exist, but very often the participants take themselves too seriously. They play to WIN. Nothing wrong with that, but winning without fun is like having caviar and Champagne without the dancing girls.

Keep in mind fellow “boulonautes” that most games are casual encounters, therefore there is no need to wear a formal outfit, play strictly by the rules and refrain from laughing. Joking (no too much) is part of the action. No laugh, no fun.

Fortunately, we are not playing Islamic pétanque.

Ayatollah Khomeini famously proclaimed: “Allah did not create man so that he could have fun. The aim of creation was for mankind to be put to the test through hardship and prayer. An Islamic regime must be serious in every field. There are no jokes in Islam. There is no humor in Islam.”

 Take this you Infidels!

Your goal while playing casual pétanque, is only to force your opponents to “kiss Fanny” and have a good laugh! Prudish losers by the way,  are allowed to kiss Fanny’s derrière with a blindfold.

See you on the field… and pack some laughs!

Alain

“Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you.” Sherman Alexie

Voting Season is in full swing and skeletons all over the country are kicking their heels. They are expecting invitations to the most exclusive balls of the country… the Skeleton’s Masquerade Balls, culminating at the end of the year with the Election Day Masquerade.

Some skeletons (who are usually jolly fellows) have been sequestered in closets for years. They would not mind coming out for a bit of fresh air and a few steps of foxtrot.

Even though they are theoretically dead, they are very much in demand because they always make interesting guests. They have many captivating stories to tell, and they always keep their audiences entertained.

Money and sex are what make skeletons’ stories so fascinating. It usually exposes the true character of individuals preaching moral rectitude while personally indulging in immoral pursuits.

Recently, a French (married) politician named Benjamin Griveaux was tripped by one of his skeletons. Hewas running for mayor of the city of Paris and everything was going smoothly. But suddenly videos and text messages of a sexual nature involving him were published on a social website. Monsieur Griveaux hastily withdrew from the race saying that his family “doesn’t deserve that.”

 If you ever have political ambitions, avoid sexting and shady money deals at all costs. If you don’t, it will, like the Sword of Damocles, hang over your head forever.

The economy is doing well, and so are hackers. They are very popular in political circles and probably very well compensated for their dirty deeds. As proven almost daily, many personal sites are ridiculously vulnerable and susceptible to hacking.

Consequently, if you are hellbent on a political career, the best way to avoid embarrassment is to set all your skeletons free before anybody even knew that you had some. Or give them the Jimmy Hoffa treatment.

I am not presently considering any political run, but the minute I do, I will release all my skeletons at once and ship them to a nice retirement place. I have treated them fairly and I hope that they will return the favor.

Alain

“If you don’t vote, you lose the right to complain.” – George Carlin

 It is every citizen’s sacred duty to vote. And to cast a vote with lucidity, not blind passion.

I have never made a secret of the fact that I intensely dislike the present tenant of the White House. A crude, narcissistic bully who trampled over every achievement of his predecessor… AND who doesn’t give a damn about climate change.

Very soon we will vote again. We will have to elect somebody who will lead America (and hopefully unite the world) for the next 4 years. We need to choose carefully and not be derailed by single grievances.

All democratic candidates have strong points… and liabilities. But to slay the dragon, we have to pick a person who can win. Somebody pragmatic, with a quick mind, a strong shield and a mighty hammer. While campaigning, the candidate needs to use his shield to deflect any blow and hit back forcefully with the hammer. Somebody like Captain America or Wonder Woman.

We need somebody who will aggressively counter, and forcefully smash any scurrilous claims made by the incumbent. And he will make ridiculous statements!

Right now, I am leaning toward Mayor Pete, Amy Klobuchar, and Tom Steyer… all eloquent moderates. I would also love to see a man and a woman on this ticket.
Joe Biden is a nice fellow, but he is past his prime. Bernie is also long in the teeth and above all, he sounds too “extreme.” America doesn’t need a revolution; it needs a sensible evolution.
Elizabeth Warren is smart, knowledgeable and articulate. But like Bernie, she sounds a little too strident. Bloomberg just entered the race; he has the right words and the means to fight a protracted battle, but I am a little leery of another authoritarian billionaire.

The stock market is doing well, are saying some people… don’t rock the boat. Vote for the incumbent. But how does this incumbent benefit Joe Sixpack? He is just an ant toiling to enrich another fat cat.

Our president does not empathize with “the little people” the majority of the US population. He belongs and cares only for an exclusive club of fat cats.

In conclusion

No matter who wins the Democratic nomination, we all need to rally around him/her to achieve the demotion of a failed commander.

We need to get behind a new Fletcher Christian to get rid of Captain Bligh.

Alain

Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage. Ambrose Bierce.