Got skeletons in your closet?

“Your past is a skeleton walking one step behind you, and your future is a skeleton walking one step in front of you.” Sherman Alexie

Voting Season is in full swing and skeletons all over the country are kicking their heels. They are expecting invitations to the most exclusive balls of the country… the Skeleton’s Masquerade Balls, culminating at the end of the year with the Election Day Masquerade.

Some skeletons (who are usually jolly fellows) have been sequestered in closets for years. They would not mind coming out for a bit of fresh air and a few steps of foxtrot.

Even though they are theoretically dead, they are very much in demand because they always make interesting guests. They have many captivating stories to tell, and they always keep their audiences entertained.

Money and sex are what make skeletons’ stories so fascinating. It usually exposes the true character of individuals preaching moral rectitude while personally indulging in immoral pursuits.

Recently, a French (married) politician named Benjamin Griveaux was tripped by one of his skeletons. Hewas running for mayor of the city of Paris and everything was going smoothly. But suddenly videos and text messages of a sexual nature involving him were published on a social website. Monsieur Griveaux hastily withdrew from the race saying that his family “doesn’t deserve that.”

 If you ever have political ambitions, avoid sexting and shady money deals at all costs. If you don’t, it will, like the Sword of Damocles, hang over your head forever.

The economy is doing well, and so are hackers. They are very popular in political circles and probably very well compensated for their dirty deeds. As proven almost daily, many personal sites are ridiculously vulnerable and susceptible to hacking.

Consequently, if you are hellbent on a political career, the best way to avoid embarrassment is to set all your skeletons free before anybody even knew that you had some. Or give them the Jimmy Hoffa treatment.

I am not presently considering any political run, but the minute I do, I will release all my skeletons at once and ship them to a nice retirement place. I have treated them fairly and I hope that they will return the favor.


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