The ass has it

We live in troubled times, and we are in dire need of a unifying subject to bridge an ever-widening political gap. This is why today’s topic is going to be lighter, even frivolous. It deals with an issue that amazingly, Republicans and Democrats might even agree on.

Actress Sakshi Malik

Women who constitute half of the world population could be that link. Lately, their ascendance and influence have been significant, and the world is paying attention.

Men are mostly bland and boring, and not very interesting to look at. In comparison, women are way more attractive and much easier on the eye. They are also considered more astute and more diplomatic than men. So yes, I am partial to women and I hope that someday we will have a woman in the Executive Office.

With time, women’s influence and physical appearance have evolved. They are like chameleons, adept at changing their looks according to circumstances. After numerous metamorphoses, women today favor a new look.

Today women are expected to be skinny, but not too skinny, with large breasts and a big butt, all while maintaining a flat stomach”.

The center of attention has shifted from breasts (Jane Russell) to the “derrière” (Jennifer Lopez). And women increasingly are seeking plastic surgery to achieve this look.

When asked what they first notice in a woman, many men opt for the lame “beautiful eyes” answer. Maybe, but I doubt it. At 20 feet, it is impossible to tell anybody’s eye color. What you first notice is the silhouette, bust, waist, and a well-rounded ass, a callipygian ass.

Beautiful eyes will never stop traffic and prompt construction workers to whistle. But a shapely butt will. I venture to say that an exceptional ass could even lead to howling. Don’t blame men, they simply cannot help it.  It has something to do with primeval atavism. Women are acutely aware of this and would kill for a shapely derriere.

And yet, until now, the ass (at least in the American culture) has never been as celebrated as the breasts. Why is that? Maybe because some people feel it safer to glorify the Twins for its life-giving properties than the ass for its satanic promises of unearthly lust. I don’t want to take the thunder away from a pair of shapely breasts, but when push comes to shove, the asses have it.

Political correctness or not, I am an unabashed admirer of the feminine derrière… an ass man.
Have mercy, I cannot help it.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.