A conversation with my roomie

– Kate… we need to talk…

This ominous heart to heart conversation usually does not augur well… It is generally the prelude to an imminent breakup. But these few forbidding words did not seem to make a big impression on my roomie. She remained seated, cool and composed.

Since she kept silent, I felt that I had to continue… She stared intensely at me with her big unblinking green eyes.

– Kate my dear let me start by saying that I am very fond of you… we have been together for 4 years and it has been mostly fun. You are clean and neat, I give it to you… you don’t smoke, you don’t drink… you don’t throw wild parties…

Impassive silence.

– You are generally well behaved… you don’t abuse the TV or the phone… you don’t take inordinate lengthy baths…

Pregnant silence.

– But lately, I hate to say it, your behavior has been unreasonable… difficult.

Sullen silence.

– You have been hostile… very hostile, and for no good reasons…

Stony silence.

– As a matter of fact, you have been aggressive, very aggressive… You have bitten me and scratched me repeatedly… without any provocation…

Contemptuous silence.

– You even have drawn blood during a recent encounter, and I still bear the scars… In case you did not know, this is called domestic violence my dear, and this is punishable by law… I could call the cops on you…

Deafening silence.

-This cannot go on… You will have to change your behavior or else… Do you understand what I am saying? Nod your head if you do. Good. I am glad we had this little tête-à-tête…

Deciding that the meeting was over, Kate stood up, turned around and left the room in her usual stealthy manner, her tail held high.

I feel confident that this little chat will help. There is nothing like a frank conversation to clear the air and start everything anew.


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