Attack of the killer boobs

You can never be too careful.
America is by excellence a weapons’ paradise and it is eagerly vying for the world’s record of yearly homicides.
According to the FBI, in 2008 14,180 people were murdered in America. The size of a small town. In 2012, I am pretty sure that this number was significantly higher.

The Land of the Free is awash in weapons and it is rather easy for evildoers to dispatch somebody expeditiously.
The problem facing criminals though is that the murder weapon can be found and traced back to them. Well, there is a way around this.

In the past, people have been killed with a great variety of weapons: firearms, swords, arrows, poisoned darts, etc. but a Washington woman has so far perpetrated the most innovative homicide.
She used her giant breasts to suffocate and kill her boyfriend.


This is a devilishly clever Modus Operandi.
Her DNA might show on the victim’s face, but so what?
Just a sex game gone bad, and there are no laws against it.

So, philanderers beware. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, and murder by breasts might be a novel way of beating the system.
That big-chested woman sitting at the end of the bar might not be as innocent as she looks. Unbeknownst to you, she might be a trained assassin commissioned by your ex to do away with you; she is carrying a concealed weapon and doesn’t need a gun permit.

Read in the London Daily Mail:

In November, German lawyer Tim Schmidt claimed his girlfriend tried to smother him with her 38DD breasts. Schmidt said she pretended it was a sex game, the Daily Mail reported. “I asked her why she wanted to smother me to death with her breasts and she told me: “Treasure – I wanted your death to be as pleasurable as possible” he said.

So my fellow Americans, before tangling with giant mammaries, be aware of the inherent risks of a loaded weapon.
An alluring cleavage might be fascinating, but could also be fraught with hidden perils.