Au Cochonnet Marin

Getting to know anybody can take a long time. Some people have worked side by side for years and know very little about each other. To achieve a better understanding of an individual, you have to discuss a wide variety of subjects with him… and this takes time. This process is a little bit like sculpting a wooden figure. You start with a rough outline and you slowly chip away the concealing material to reveal the inner person.

I have always deplored the fact that when playing pétanque you don’t have that opportunity. A real fan of the game comes to the field to play, not to discuss his life philosophy or his political inclinations… and I understand that. But nothing prevents you from mixing competitiveness with friendliness… assuming that you can walk and chew gum at the same time…

No matter how long you have played with somebody, you often don’t know that person. You just know faces… and even this is a little improbable nowadays. Most of the time you are unaware of their occupation, if they are married, if they are politically progressive or conservative, if they are prudish or broad-minded, etc. In short, they are semi-strangers… and some people like it this way.

But I am a little different. It could be my love of photography that incites me to pay more attention to words and mannerisms. Getting to know a person is my guilty pleasure, my “péché mignon”.

I have to know more than a name before feeling comfortable with anybody. And that’s why I am partial to some social media. Facebook for instance has fans and detractors, but it is also a good way to discover like-minded people. They will agree or disagree with you on different subjects and after a while, you know who you are dealing with.

To feel content in life, you have to surround yourself with people sharing the same values, or at least the same sense of humor. Because (besides Covid-19) nothing is more contagious and generating good vibes than laughter and good humor. And with friends, no subject should be taboos. You should feel free to discuss anything and everything.

“Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalizing. Taboos after all are only hangovers, the product of diseased minds, you might say, of fearsome people who hadn’t the courage to live and who under the guise of morality and religion have imposed these things upon us.” ~ Henry Miller

Getting to know former strangers is often rewarding. Instead of dealing with an unknown figure, you might discover a kindred-spirit… and possibly a new BFF.

For 2021, my goal is getting to know many of you better, uncover your hidden qualities (and your dark secrets), and when the #@^*! pandemic is over, share a loaf of bread and a glass of wine with you.

TTFN (ta ta for now)

Alain

If you can’t say anything nice, say it in French.

Goodbye, 2020!
It is finally coming to an end… and not a minute too soon!
Like an obnoxious guest, we will be glad to see its back. It will be remembered though, but with outrage and sorrow.
On December 31st, we will all heave a big sigh of relief and look forward to a better future. Short of a nuclear conflict, nothing could possibly be worse than the waning year.

But with the departure of that terrible chapter, we will also hail (Alleluia, Alleluia, Alleluia) the grudging exit of a narcissistic buffoon. A man who pretended to run our country, but in truth a vulgar mercenary who tried to enrich himself (and his cronies) every step of the way.
Don’t let the door hit you on the way out DT!

Now, the “warp speed” operation promised by the White House is not exactly zooming. It is at best crawling and many more people will die before a sizable number of Americans gets immunized. So, what is holding up the parade?

The military was supposed to conduct this operation, but as Georges Clemenceau once said: “War is too important to be left to the generals”
In my humble opinion, the job should have been given to Amazon Prime. These guys really mean business and deliver as promised.

In the meantime, we have got to be extremely cautious and take every precaution prescribed by the medical community. There is absolutely no excuse for anybody to ignore those mandates and party as if nothing happened. We are in a war, and in times of war, you have very few personal rights. Scofflaws and their ilk should be flown to China for political reeducation. These people will tell you in no uncertain terms what they think of your selfish personal rights.

In the meantime, we should trust Uncle Joe and Maid Kamala. This new David seems to have more common sense than yesterday’s Goliath. He seems to genuinely care for the common people and ought to be given a fair chance to succeed.

I understand that on December 31st at midnight the Times Square crystal ball will be dropped as usual but without its million revelers. I have no doubts that some people will try to gather and make merry, but almost everybody agrees that it would be a bad idea. This by the way never prevented anybody from doing this kind of bungee jumping anyway.

Goodbye 2020 and a happy New Year to everybody. It is the first page of a brand new blank book. Feel it up with joy, laughter, and happy memories. After that dreadful 2020, you deserve it.

Bonne Année a tous!

Alain

This year, I had a very special Christmas. Unlike the previous years, it was not spent drinking mulled wine with family and friends. Instead, this special occasion morphed into a very special working day.

Our bathroom faucet had been leaking for quite a while, and its replacement, courtesy of Amazon, arrived the day before Christmas. So, having nothing better to do, I decided to tackle the job myself. I am not a plumber but am an educated guy, so replacing a faucet should be a piece of cake, right?

Well, not exactly. Replacing a faucet requires experience and a lot of flexibility, a quality that I am now sorely lacking. Your stretchability, unless you are Jane Fonda, decreases with age, and I am at the stage of my life when putting on socks is already a bit strenuous.

So, a great part of my special Christmas day was spent, crawling and contorting in the tiny closet located under the bathroom sink.  I first tried to remove the faucet’s fastening nuts and this should not have been particularly difficult. But this damn faucet has been squatting in my house for years, and it obviously liked its surroundings. Removing those fastening nuts was a fight roughly equivalent to the bellicose attitude adopted lately by the tenant of the White House.

Every item in the faucet’s draining system was ancient and unwilling to yield. I was fortunately assisted by my wife and we took turns crawling and groaning under the sink. She is a yoga practitioner and found it much easier than me to squirm and writhe in the darkness.

By the way, I replaced the old non-descript faucet with a Moen faucet, a name I trust. The nice thing about this company is that if you go to Moen support on the Internet, it has very comprehensive videos detailing all kinds of installations.

The process was difficult because I have very little plumbing experience and it was my first attempt ever at replacing a faucet. What I learned was that if you want to practice that trade, you cannot be corpulent and that it would behoove you to practice yoga on a regular basis. To be successful, you need to easily flex every part of your body. A little bit of meditation would also help.

But to enjoy your work, you need to have a special calling for it and I don’t think that I have this. I would rather sit in front of my computer, sip a cup of whatever and save my strength for something more worthwhile… like fustigating the mindless refuseniks spurning the wearing of a protective mask during this dire situation.

But this very special Christmas had a positive side. All my going on all fours, crawling, wiggling, slithering, etc. significantly reduced my glucose level. This is a job that my doctor would approve of… but it is a little late in my career development to change course.

For the time being, I will stick to words… I am still convinced that the pen is mightier than an adjustable wrench.

Heureuse nouvelle année, et particulièrement bonne santé a tous !
Happy New Year, and particularly good health to all!

Alain