Au Cochonnet Marin

 

“I like children… If they’re properly cooked” … well, personally, unlike WC Fields, I prefer them alive and kicking.

Grandparents are suckers… every youngster realizes this very quickly and stores this precious bit of information in a corner of his brain. Older folks are also somewhat ignorant, and most of them have never heard words such as “discipline” or “rules”. And kids are not about to enlighten them about such trivial matters.

A mini-vacation at Grandma is always welcome because grandparents are way cooler than parents… and they will always try to satisfy any of your whims. For a kid, a few days at grandma is like a stay at a Mexican resort. A non-stop Doritos chips and guacamole fiesta.

Kids learn from their grandparents, but grandparents also pick up a few things from the ankle biters… like how much punishment can you take before crying, uncle?

“An hour with your grandchildren can make you feel young again. Anything longer than that, and you start to age quickly.” ~ Gene Perret

The French came up with an amusing word describing how grandparents feel when grandchildren visit… and when they leave. They call the process “chicouf!”.

 Chic, is a French expression reflecting pleasure, satisfaction; its American equivalent is “swell”. Ouf is an interjection expressing relief, like the American “phew.”

The combination of these two words produces “chicouf”; hence, glad to see you come, happy to see you go.

Good fairies have also endowed grandchildren with superpowers. Like Captain America, kids carry an invisible magic shield that protects them from harm. If you attempt to hurt them, the evil deed will bounce off their shield and hit you back. Can you win a fight with Captain America? In your dreams baby… in your dreams.

A grandkid is somewhat akin to a girlfriend… capricious, but captivating at the same time. And spoiling him/her is often easier than pleasing your inamorata. Ice cream by the way also carries a good deal of magic. It can stop a tantrum and pacify a tense situation instantly. It is roughly the equivalent of the pair of earrings that you buy for your girlfriend to be forgiven for something that you are not even aware of.

“Elephants and grandchildren never forget.” – Andy Rooney

Grandkids, even though they sometimes cannot read, have an elephant’s memory. A promise made in the fog of a busy day has to be kept no matter what. If you forget about it, a kid won’t and will remind you of it every single day. For your own good, you absolutely cannot welch on a promise made to a child. Otherwise, they will text you every day and Instagram will hear about it.

But grandkids (especially when they are napping) are captivating, and you cannot help loving them. They are stimulating… but like stimulants, they should be consumed carefully, in small doses at a time.

Alain

Last Sunday I attended my first post-pandemic tournament of the season, the Select Triples in Sonoma. Not as a competitor mind you, but as an interested blogger. Armed with an array of recording devices I showed up on the pétanque field around 10:00 am and stayed there until past 7:00 pm.

Sixty-three players (21 triplettes) had signed up to play and were already battling on the field. The weather was exceptionally cooperative, and the thermometer never rose above 85 degrees Fahrenheit. Ideal weather for a tournament; we even got a little breeze as a bonus.

Again, it felt strange seeing everybody without a mask, and greetings were sometimes awkward. To hug, to kiss, to make fist contact? that was the uncomfortable question, but we managed…

The Big Boys were already in the process of wiping out the weaker teams, and around lunchtime, 16 teams qualified to play in the Concours and 5 teams were to fight it out in the Consolante.

I happened to follow the fate of some friends (Francois, Jean-Claude, and Gerard) who had stumbled in the Concours and faced the powerful team of John Harris/Tom Lee/Chan Xiong in the afternoon. The execution took place in the pebble-strewn area, in the farthest corner of the field. Within minutes, the score was 12/2 in favor of Harris’s team. I left before watching the mercy killing.

I also followed Jean-Michel and his merry men; despite being a relatively strong team they had a disastrous morning. They lost 3 games in a row and were unceremoniously shown the door to the Consolante. But every cloud has a silver lining… Jean-Michel, Damien, and Bernard eventually ended up winning that part of the tournament.

The Concours finals pitted two of the strongest teams in the field against each other. Peter Mathis, Mickey Coughlin, against Patrick Vaslet took on John Harris, Tom Lee, Chan Xiong. Both teams won all 3 games in the morning and continued destroying every competitor in the afternoon.

Finally, they faced each other. It was a clash of giants. Harris’ team had 3 excellent shooters while Mathis’s formation fielded only 2. But they had an ace up their sleeves, and his name was Patrick Vaslet.

Patrick who played as a pointer did a fabulous job. On a pebble-strewn, difficult terrain, he managed to position just about every boule not farther than 3 inches away from the cochonnet. I sincerely believe that it was his fantastic pointing ability that secured the game in favor of his team. I am not saying that Peter and Mickey did not help; they did as usual an outstanding job, but a great part of the victory was undeniably due to Patrick’s uncanny ability. The crowd in attendance cheered him numerous times.

Despite Fresno’s solid defense, the game ended up with the surprising final score of 13/2 in favor of Sonoma. Despite the great point margin, both teams played extremely well and it was a great tournament.

Final results:

Concours (16 teams)

1^st place:        Peter Mathis/Patrick Vaslet/Mickey Coughlin
2^nd place:       John Harris/Tom Lee/Chan Xiong
3^rd place:        Scott Jordan/Dave Lanter/Dan Marioni

Consolante (5 teams)

1^st place:        Damien Monnet/Bernard Passmar/Jean-Michel Poulnot
2^nd place:       Don McPherson/Linda McPherson/Bob Stephens

Alain

PS: Click on My photos, and you will find your way to hundreds of pictures. Let me know how you like them.

Now that most of the pandemic constraints have been lifted, people everywhere are bathing in the rekindled pleasure (le plaisir retrouvé) of “farniente” … the exquisite pleasure of doing nothing. Sidewalk cafés are full and doing a smashing business again. It seems that people are trying to make up for lost time, just like after a long war…

This “farniente” business has long been a revered Latin tradition. It was adopted only recently by Americans who were long deluded to believe that “time is money”. The French, on the other hand, adopted a different maxim: “Je ne fais rien, mais je le fais bien” (I do nothing, but I do that well.)

But enlightened Americans (Californians?) have seen the errors of their ways and now spend a great deal of time atoning for their past sins. They pack sidewalk cafés and restaurants like there were no tomorrows. Time has been devalued.

Let’s not forget that “farniente” is an art and… a sport. Like any discipline, it requires long hours of practice, and the mind has to be in tune with the body. You “cannot do nothing” and keep ruminating about business or some other silly nonsense. You have to be Zen.

One of the few things allowed when doing nothing is people-watching. As a matter of fact, when you have reached the first level of farniente, you will have to pass a little test to see if you are proficient enough to practice. I don’t like to brag, but I have a 3^rd dan in people-watching, so if you need any help, talk to me.

When you do people-watching, you do not stare or whistle, no matter how appealing the subject is. You just glance casually, but with some training, you can absorb in seconds the essence of a person.

People-watching by the way also includes pet-watching. I love dogs and yes, and I never miss an occasion to observe, even pet them. I can be guilty of staring and even engage in some badinage with the owner of the beast. Animals know when you like them and will let you have your way with them. Women are not very different. Did I just feel a light tremor?

The great thing about farniente is that it is eminently affordable. You don’t need any special equipment or uniform and when the mood strikes, you can practice anywhere. In a car, in a plane, at home, or in the office.

It is true that some people have become addicted to this pastime, and that it is fairly difficult to cure them of this dependency, but it can be done. Many former elected officials are now employed in private industry, and after a few detox sessions, they are now more productive than in their best years in government.

When the mood strikes, never hesitate: farniente, go for it!

Alain