Au Cochonnet Marin

Many people are led to believe that the French motto is « Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité ».
I believed it myself for a long time. But I was wrong.

In reality, unbeknownst to many (and going back to 1936), the French motto actually is: Liberté, Egalité, Fraternité, Congés Payés (paid leave).
And you have Leon Blum and The Popular Front to thank for that.
Even Republicans, sworn enemies of Socialism have no qualms about taking advantage of Leon’s kindness.
Hypocrites!

Every year, rain or shine, the word “vacation” will pop up in a conversation and get everybody in a tizzy.
We should go there and do that! Fine.
But people have widely different ideas of what a vacation is.

When in doubt, I consult Siri, my devoted assistant. When queried, she said in her mellifluous voice: “Vacation, leisure time away from work devoted to rest or pleasure”.
Thank you doll. You are the best!
She is! I can always rely on her.

All right then, a vacation is a time to relax, to recharge one’s battery, most of the time in some sunny, exotic place.
Some people are happy to go to a resort and decompress for a week or two.
For others, a vacation cannot be anything else but a marathon akin to “Survivors” or the “Amazing Race”.

Every minute of the trip has got to be filled with excitement bordering on insane fear.
Bungee jumping, skydiving, high lining, rock climbing, hot air balloon rides…
Resting is for sissies. It is anathema to true vacation aficionados.

To me, a vacation is “an extended period of restful recreation”.
I don’t have to fill every minute of my time with daredevil stunts or shopping safaris. P & P (Pétanque and Pastis) and ogling lightly clad wenches is plenty stimulating for me.
No shop until I drop either.

Americans are real amateurs when it comes to vacations. They check with the State Department before venturing out of Ohio.
When talking to French friends, I am sometimes surprised to hear “in our last trip to St Helena Island, Nunavut or Ittoqqortoormiit …”

Because those crazy bastards will go anywhere; the more remote and exotic the better. Never mind hot spots. We are French; we cannot be bothered by your stupid tribal conflicts.
Very often though, they will end up chained in some dark dungeon and beg the French government to get them out.
And the French government will oblige and pay a hefty ransom to scumbags (and be severely criticized for it) to get them back.

To each his own of course, but if you are planning to visit seven countries in 2 days, count me out.
Old stones, underground caves and culinary delights yes, non-stop adrenaline kicks NIET!

Camarero, one more mojito, por favor!

Alain

https://youtu.be/Nf9gh5Of45s

Last Sunday La Pétanque Marinière of Marin County hosted its annual California Commemorative Cup tournament.
Members of various local clubs were invited and some braved the chilly weather and the heavy fog that blanketed most of Marin County in order to compete.
Croissants and hot coffee helped to keep spirits high.

The Contestants were:

• Doug Colleville & Nancy Jencks
• Herb Moran & Brigitte Moran
• Brendan Cohen & Linda Evans
• Albert Woodbury & Caitlin Woodbury
• Francois Moser & Henriette Matocq
• Jean-Michel Poulnot & Colette Van Der Meulen
• Charlie Davantes & Helga Facchini
• Marco Ilaria & Peggy Silverside
• Kevin Evoy & Holly Sammons
• Carlos Couto & Beth Lysten
• Jean-Claude Etallaz & Genevieve Etallaz
• Gus Foucher & Liliane Sebban
• Larry Cragg & Christine Cragg
• Jean-Claude Bunand & Mireille Di Maio
• Ed Porto & Carolina Jones
• Bernard Passmar & Sabine Mattei
• Wolf Kurz & Julie Thompson
• Joe La Torre & Teri Sirico
• Ken Lee & Susan Holbert
• Patrick Vaslet & Shannon Bowman
• Antoine Lofaro & Eva Lofaro

The LPM circus was kept under control by Christine Cragg (our exalted leader) ably assisted by charming Swedish beauty Liv Kraft.

The tournament was billed as Select Mixed Doublettes (1 man & 1 woman) and men as usual scrambled to assure the services of the ladies.

There would be 3 qualifying games in the morning and Concours and Consolante A and B after lunch.
A raffle (worth $200.00 of groceries) was advertised and a nice prize was up for grabs.
My sources tell me that the generous food basket was donated by the Marin Farmers Market (through the good offices of newly minted member Brigitte Moran).
Thank you Brigitte. You are accumulating good karma.

I opted out of this tournament. I chose instead to spend the day memorializing this event. I took 551 photographs that I agonizingly whittled down to around 240.
I tried to take at least one picture of every participant but I don’t know if I succeeded. I gave it the old college try, but my college days are now just a fading memory and my try might not have been as effective as in my  salad days.
I might have missed somebody. Sorry about that.

The first phase of the tournament (3 qualifying games) started slightly after 10:30 a.m. and ended around 1:00 p.m.

During the lunch break ,  a drawing was held and the winner of this grocery piñata was nobody else but Teri Sirico. Congratulations.
The tournament resumed around 2:00 p.m.

The following teams qualified for the Concours:

• Kevin Evoy & Holly Sammons
• Brendan Cohen & Linda Evans
• Albert Woodbuty & Caitlin Wood bury
• Francois Moser & Henriette Matocq
• Joe La Torre & Teri Sirico
• Carlos Couto & Beth Lysten
• Jean-Michel Poulnot & Colette Van Der Meulen
• Ed Porto & Carolina Jones

In order to win a team event, the partners must be in sync. If partners squabble they will fail. Some did and were quickly eliminated.
To paraphrase Yogi Berra, “a game is 90% mental and the other half physical.”
Some contestants failed the mental test.

To make a long story short, the Concours’ finalists were Ed Porto & Carolina Jones and Brendan Cohen & Linda Evans.
And they totally deserved to be there.

They were equally matched and they gave us the most exciting finals that I have seen in a long time.

I knew that Carolina and Ed were good players but I knew very little about Brendan and Linda.
They proved to be both formidable competitors, especially young Brendan who in my opinion was the MVP of this event. He graced us with amazing, extremely accurate shots.
Linda Evans, under an unassuming appearance, displayed remarkable pointing skills. She contributed mightily to the game.

The game proved very entertaining and drew many appreciative oohs, aahs and applauds from the crowd.

It was an even contest with scores seesawing between the 2 teams.

In the final hand, the score was 12 vs. 12.
The fate of the tournament was decided when Brendan missed a critical shot.
Ed Porto (slightly handicapped by a new hip) held his own and mightily contributed to the final victory.

The new names on the 2015 California Commemorative cup will be Ed Porto & Carolina Jones (loved them yellow socks) who finally won the tournament with a final score of 13/12.
Congratulations to all. Either side deserved to win.

A very long but very entertaining day.

Alain

PS: To look at photos of this event and listen to accompanying background music, turn the sound on, and click on the “My Photos” link located on the right side of this page.
For best viewing go “Full Screen“.

 

I just watched a movie about somebody being dumped and it made me reflect on my own storied life.

Don’t deny it. We all have been through this rite of passage, the abrupt transition from bliss to hell.
We have all been dumped or have ditched somebody. It is a fact of life. And better being dumped early than later in a relationship.

Dumping (the disposal of unwanted material in an often hurried way) is usually initiated by one partner. It is seldom mutual.

It is like a post Bar Mitzvah, or maybe like a rehearsal for the future mandatory divorce. It means that after that ritual you have (hopefully) become an adult and ready to play the game again, but in a more cautious and mature way.

A breakup often comes as a surprise to the dumpee.
It can be brutal “Piss off wanker” or mild “it’s not you, it’s me”, but it is always traumatic.

Now thanks to technology, breakups can be expedited with text messages or through Facebook. “You have 6 days to remove your stuff from my place. Have a nice day”. Your 6000 friends will know right away that you are finally available again.

Dumpees never see it coming. It comes out of the blue… like a sudden spring shower tornado.

And the nagging question is always, why?
What did I do? Is it my fault?
Did I drink too much? Did I eat too much? Did I gain weight? Did I fart too much? Was singing “Le Cantique des Cantiques” (the Song of Solomon) during our lovemaking over the top?

You are racking your brain trying to find the answer to this question (and maybe a parade to this blow) but things are usually too far-gone.

Of course, it is always better to be the dumper than the dumpee and some people anticipating a breakup will take the initiative and become the dumper before becoming a dumpee.
It is much less traumatic and much more satisfying.

But even 10, 20 years after the facts, the memory of a breakup still haunts you.
Because the dumper never really tells you the reason for the breakup.
It is probably better that way, but you still would like to know.

There ought to be a formal process for breaking up.
There ought be a form to be filled by both parties explaining clearly what prompted this fateful decision.

“One woman is not enough for me” or “she refused polygamy”, or “he sleeps with a Glock pistol under his pillow and he fondles it more than he fondles me”.

It would be nice to know for future reference and to avoid making the same mistakes again.

So, if you have been dumped, do not despair. It happened to the best of us.
And in your next relationship, dump that bastard/bitch before he/she dumps you.

Famous dumpees:
Josephine de Beauharnais (dumped by Napoleon I)
Lady Di (dumped by prince Charles)
Nicolas Sarkozy (dumped by Cecilia Attias)
Valerie Trierweiler (dumped by Francois Hollande)

Have a pleasantly mellow day.

Uncle Alain

Watch Tina S. the amazing French prodigy: