Narcissism

In a recent article published in Time magazine, Jeffrey Kluger wrote:

“Small children, by their very nature, are moral monsters. They are greedy, demanding, violent, selfish, impulsive and utterly remorseless. They fight constantly with playmates and siblings but scream in pain and indignation if they are attacked in return. They expect to be adored but not disciplined, rewarded but never penalized, cared for and served by parents and family without caring or serving reciprocally.”

narcissus_300pxIt sounds frighteningly like portraits of Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus, prime examples of monstrous narcissism and entitlement.

Toddlers are indeed selfish and demanding, but most of them outgrow this phase. Some (particularly in affluent families) never do.
They feel forever entitled without ever thinking of reciprocating a good turn.

Life is a trade, an ever-bartering flee-market. A world of “tit for tat”.
Good manners dictate that you acknowledge a favor and reciprocate it in a decent time interval. Even within a couple, favors should be acknowledged and responded in kind.
Failure to do so will generate unease, resentment and ultimately hostility.

Pampering children is no guaranty that they will later show appreciation for your devotion. On the contrary.
The more you indulge the little tykes and the more entitled they will feel.

Ungrateful children are not a new trend.
This state of affairs was already apparent to Honoré de Balzac, who in 1835 penned a novel titled Le Père Goriot (Old man Goriot).

In this story, Goriot sacrifices everything to endear himself to his two daughters (Delphine and Anastasie) who ultimately dispossess and forsake him.

“Before dying, Goriot rages about their disrespect toward him. His funeral is attended only by Rastignac, a servant named Christophe, and two paid mourners. Goriot’s daughters, rather than being present at the funeral, send their empty coaches, each bearing their families’ respective coat of arms.”

Selfishness or narcissism are not congenital conditions. Family and environment mold these characteristics.

Ultimately, if you yearn for a decent relationship with those around you, mind Confucius:

己所不欲,勿施於人。
“What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.”

Treat others just like you would like to be treated.

Alain

Méfiez vous des Ides de Mars

« Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears;
I come to bury Hollande, not to praise him.”
Julius Caesar by William Shakespeare

La France se meurt.
Le lent déclin de ce que fut autrefois une grande nation m’émeut et me désespère.
Depuis bon nombre d’années déjà le coq gaulois s’égosille en vain, mais personne n’écoute plus.
Il ne claironne plus que sur des basses-cours de pacotille.

Sur la scène internationale la France s’indigne et pérore, mais comme un lion édenté elle est impotente.
Sa politique extérieure est grandiloquente, mais elle n’a pas les moyens de la faire appliquer. Sans le soutien de l’Oncle Sam (et de la cousine Angèle) la France est incapable d’accomplir quoi que ce soit.
Sa politique économique également désastreuse consiste à sauver un canard pour perdre trois vaches.

L’avènement du socialisme (très proche cousin du communisme) a été une catastrophe pour la France.
L’intronisation d’un petit bourgeois sans envergure sur le siège de l’état n’a été nulle autre chose que le réflexe rancunier d’un peuple agacé par un chef d’état hyperactif (mais n’ayant pas peur d’agir).
Cette décision n’a pas été rationnelle. Elle a été avant tout émotionnelle.

François Hollande (monsieur tout-le-monde) a perpétué en France un « état-providence » plus soucieux de subvenir à une population indigente (pour la plupart immigrée) que du bien-être de ses propres enfants.
Il a continué de faire appliquer une politique débile, handicapant les grandes entreprises (pourvoyeuses d’emplois) et accablant d’impôts une classe moyenne excédée.

Le général De Gaulle (Charles le Grand) qui rêvait de « grandeur » pour la France doit se retourner dans sa tombe en voyant les maladresses répétées de François le Petit.

François Hollande a favorisé, en cédant a leurs exigences, la montée d’un islamisme toujours plus virulent, et a une dangereuse dérive de la population vers l’Extrême Droite.
Il a aussi contribué à la « fuite des cerveaux » (brain-drain) forçant les jeunes entrepreneurs à fuir leur pays natal pour faire essayer de réussir dans un pays plus accueillant.
Sans compter un nivellement par le bas.

Bonaparte au Conseil_des_Cinq-Cents

La dévalorisation de la France a aussi contribué à accentuer la suprématie de l’anglais supplantant la langue française dans pratiquement tous les domaines.

La France n’a pas besoin d’un Jésuite. Elle a besoin d’un « Despote éclairé ».
Elle a besoin d’un homme (ou d’une femme) pragmatique à l’écoute d’une économie entravée par des règles absurdes, et surtout d’un chef conscient et déterminé face a la menace islamiste.

Un 18 Brumaire est-il possible dans la France actuelle ?

Alain

Upstairs, downstairs

Have you ever seen a couple walking hand in hand and wearing the exact same outfit from head to toes?
I have, and it makes me puke.
Because there is only so much togetherness that one can take.

When you agree to tie the knot, it doesn’t mean that you have to morph into a facsimile of your mate.
You don’t have to dress the same way, share the same political views or even share the same activities.
You might make love together but this is as far as the sharing goes. And you might negotiate who goes on top!

The animal kingdom has practiced this kind of Modus Vivendi for a long time.
At the mating season, Papa Bear and Mama Bear exchange a few smoke signals, get together, and after a few amorous encounters they go their separate ways.
Get your own space, he says.
Good riddance, she says.
This is the best way to keep a relationship fresh and exciting.

This long preamble to warn you that in order to survive a couple does not need to be joined at the hip. As a matter of fact, it needs to spend some time apart.
An occasional night out with the boys is not optional, it is mandatory.

Check_Point_Charlie_signWhen you live with somebody, one of the best ways to sustain a long-term relationship is to get a fairly large abode.
You then immediately stake claim to a space that is going to be yours, and yours alone. It could be the West Wing, the East wing, Downstairs or Upstairs.
It will be your hiding place, you sanctuary, your panic room.
It is where you will retreat when you don’t feel like making small talk or when making an artisanal bomb.

In order to remain undisturbed, you might even post a sign saying, “Keep the X#&* out”.

Then you should sign a non-aggression pact, agree on zones of influence and establish a Checkpoint Charlie. Checkpoint-Charlie-Photo9
Those wise preventive measures should keep conflicts (and togetherness) to a minimum.

If nevertheless discord erupts, the first thing to do would be to send your representatives to a quiet place (like Bagdad) to negotiate a cease-fire.
It would be understood that no rockets would be fired into enemy territory during that period and that no underground tunnels would be built.
Failing to abide by these rules would severely undermine your relationship,

To sum it up, togetherness (like sweets) should be used in moderation. Overconsumption could produce harmful side effects.

Alain

PS: I am of course half-kidding. Everybody knows that Absence makes the heart grow fonder or as one of my uncouth friend would say “Absinthe makes the fart grow stronger”.