Au Cochonnet Marin

“When the missionaries came to Africa they had the Bible and we had the land. They said ‘Let us pray.’ We closed our eyes. When we opened them we had the Bible and they had the land.”
Desmond Tutu

Occasionally, when playing pétanque I am called upon to make a crucial shot.
I then ask a few deities to help me triumph over my enemies.
And sometimes it works. I strike the opponents’ boule out of the way and save the game.
This unequivocally proves to me that when you need help it is better to call on a few friends rather than on a single individual.

So, I wonder why people pray only to one patron saint at a time? It does not make sense to me.
In a battle, you don’t rely on a single horseman; you rely on the entire cavalry brigade.

Whom do people pray to anyway?
The Virgin Mary? Jesus? Allah? Abraham? Satan? Lady Gaga?
I don’t know why, but mortals usually besiege a single deity, and it not very effective.
My advice: when in dire straits, diversify! Don’t be sectarian! Don’t restrict yourself to a single do-gooder. Pray to everybody. This is not the time to be picky!
And it is not more strenuous to do mass-mailing mass praying to half a dozen gods than to a single individual.

By their own admission some people pray constantly. Three or four times a day, even more. The Virgin Mary or Satan must be tired of listening to all those people because as George Bernard Shaw said, “Most people do not pray; they only beg.”

The gods must feel like getting robocalls. “This guy has been calling me 3 times a day every day for the last six months; I am getting tired of his whining…”

My advice: if you pray, do it sensibly. Be brief; go the point. Don’t tie up the lines. Don’t bother the Big Guys with your endless money or marital woes…
Don’t bother them every five minutes, but when you really need help, go for equal opportunity praying. Ask them all… nicely but as briefly as you can.
Time is precious and the gods’ attention is fleeting.

So again, when in need of assistance, address all the deities that you can think of. One of them is going be less busy than the others and might grant you your wish.
Maybe… but don’t hold your breath.

Alain

“Honk if you love Jesus… Text while driving if you want to meet him.”

 

Yesterday’s picnic/tournament was what I would call a successful affair. It was well attended and various club members showed great team spirit by lending a hand to the event.
I also noticed quite a few new faces, and the people who brought them in ought to be commended for introducing these young men and women to the game.

The weather was clement. It was a little cool in the morning but almost perfect (not too hot, not too cool) in the afternoon.

The tournament directors were Verena Rytter and Liv Kraft.

The cooking brigade was composed of Jean-Claude Etallaz, Antoine Lofaro, and Roger Mattei.

The Helping Rockettes were: Sabine Mattei, Mireille Di Maio, Claudie Chourré, Eva Lofaro, Minette Etallaz.

As a welcome change, instead of the sempiternal peas and carrots, potato patties and stuffed tomatoes were served to accompany the steaks.

This week again I did not intend to play but I was ultimately cajoled into participating in the tournament and I was paired with (Holy Mackerel) none other than (ta-da!) Le Facteur.

Jean-Michel is a good, but very emotional player. In fair weather he is an amiable fellow, but when the boat starts rocking he can get a little paranoid.
Nobody likes to lose but regardless how things are going one needs to keep a cool head, and I reminded him of this a few times.
Personally, when playing my guiding principles are:

• If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.
• Keep calm and fix bayonets.
• It ain’t over until the fat lady sings.

Ultimately we didn’t fare too badly winning 2 games out of 3 and losing the last one 9/13.

“Le Facteur was so depressed, he tried to commit suicide by inhaling next to an Armenian.” Woody Allen

The tournament’s participants were:

1. Charles Davantes & Claudie Chourré
2. Brendan Cohen & Miguel Cuevas
3. David Katz & Minette Etallaz
4. Francois Moser & Peggy Silversides
5. Ken Lee & Christine Jones
6. Steve Jones & Liliane Sebban
7. Bernard Passmar & Sarah Passmar
8. Louis Toulon & Julie Thompson
9. Anton Vargas & Brigitte Moran
10. Gustav Fisher & Sabine Mattei
11. Henry Wessel & Eva Lofaro
12. Herb Moran & Calvert Barron
13. JC Etallaz & Greg McDonald
14. Frosty Sabo & Mireille Di Maio
15. Philippe Arnaud & Robbie Passmar
16. Alain Efron & JM Poulnot

At lunchtime an enormous black dog appeared. At first sight I wondered if it was a pony or a small bear but it turned out to be a Briard, a dog that originated from the French region of Brie.
This gentle giant (weighing 130 lbs.) is sometimes called “a heart of gold wrapped in fur”. It is a great dog, but definitely not a lapdog and probably needing his own queen size bed.

Three games were played after lunch and the tournament ended around 4:30 p.m.

The final results:

1st place: Charles Davantes & Claudie Chourré
2^nd place: Bernard Passmar & Sarah Passmar
3^rd place: Frosty Sabo & Mireille Di Maio

And that was the way I saw it.

Alain

To look at photos of this event and listen to the accompanying background music, turn your computer’s sound on, and click on the link “My Photos” located on the right side of this page. For best viewing, go Full Screen.

Your comments are welcome.

“When our spelling is perfect, it’s invisible. But when it’s flawed, it prompts strong negative associations.”
Marilyn vos Savant

If you don’t believe this, try sending a job application laced with misspelled words to a prospective employer.
Chances are that you will remain “between jobs” for a long time.

Good spelling is the mark of a learned lady/gentleman and in an increasingly competitive world it has become more important than ever.
With many traditional jobs quickly fading away, it is imperative to keep up your writing skills just in case you need to reinvent yourself.

Unfortunately, many kids are now using SMS to communicate among themselves and it is one of the greatest disservices ever offered to them.
SMS relies on a crude phonetic language (with a total disrespect for syntax or grammar) to convey ideas or instructions, and it is bad news.

Thanks to SMS (and a collection of varied electronic devices) we are raising a bunch of kids who will be thoroughly illiterate (and probably unable to compete) when they grow up.

By the way, if you didn’t know, SMS stands for “Shoddy Muddled Spelling”.

And kids, if you try to entice a bookish girl with a weird SMS, you might get the following answer:
“Sorry I don’t date outside my species.”
Ouch! That hurts!

The art of letter writing is quickly disappearing but e-mail doesn’t give you license for sloppy spelling.
Just remember that facility borders on incivility.
Instead of hurried, slapdash messages, take the time to think and use basic grammatical rules and correct spelling.
And beware of Spellcheck and autocorrect. If you are not vigilant it can easily lead you astray.

Now, as the kids would say,

Cul8r; luwamh
(See you later; love you with all my heart)

Isn’t this romantic?

Alain