Au Cochonnet Marin

“On average, women live longer than men. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the life expectancy for women in the United States is 79.3 years, compared to 73.5 years for men (as of 2022). This gap is consistent across most countries worldwide.” 

It is a well-documented fact that, worldwide, there are more elderly widows than widowers. Interestingly, though, women often cope with the loss of a partner better than men. Why might this be?

In many relationships, some women may feel a sense of subservience or suppression, which can lead to a buildup of unfulfilled desires or ambitions. For some, the loss of their spouse, while painful, can also bring a sense of liberation—a chance to pursue interests and activities they previously set aside.

Additionally, women tend to have stronger social networks. This support system helps them navigate grief more effectively. Sisterhood, a shared sense of solidarity among women, has historically responded to societal challenges. As a result, women frequently maintain close friendships and emotional bonds that provide comfort during difficult times.

Recently, a significant number of our club members have passed away, leaving their wives facing emotional and practical challenges. Rather than succumbing to despair, these women have formed a semi-official group that gathers weekly at different locations to share games, food, and drinks. I deeply admire and support this initiative, which showcases their creativity and resilience.

Interestingly, this “sisterhood” appears more resourceful than what a “brotherhood” might achieve under similar circumstances. Men, in such situations, often suppress their emotions and tend to grieve privately. Their inclination to rely less on social connections can make the grieving process more isolating and challenging.

In contrast, women seem to instinctively understand the value of companionship during difficult times. They know there is strength and comfort in numbers, seeking solace in each other’s company. Isolation, as we know, is harmful to humans and can lead to an even earlier decline.

Women might not have the brawn, but they certainly have the brains to compensate.

“Widows are far better than brides. They don’t tell, they won’t yell, they don’t swell, they rarely smell, and they’re grateful as hell.” ~ Robert A. Heinlein

Alain

 

When people retire, one of their main concerns is how to fill their newfound leisure time. Yet, for many Americans, leisure remains an elusive concept, as it’s not deeply woven into the fabric of the culture.

As Jack Nicholson aptly noted, “I don’t think many people have a very good understanding of leisure and the importance it plays in our lives.”

Retirement can be incredibly fulfilling—provided there’s something meaningful to occupy your days. Watching TV, for instance, is not an occupation; it’s merely a stopgap for boredom.

In many countries, cafés serve as vibrant hubs of social life, where people regularly gather to connect and unwind. Unfortunately, the U.S. lacks this tradition. While Starbucks locations abound, they are a pale imitation of the true European café experience.

Starbucks, at its core, is a business driven by revenue rather than a desire to foster community or relaxation. A real café should be an intimate, inviting space where the staff is friendly, knowledgeable, and familiar with their patrons—perhaps even addressing them by name. Its offerings should be fresh and delectable, not stale leftovers from days past.

Ideally, cafés should be independently owned, and run by passionate individuals who prioritize creating a warm and authentic atmosphere over maximizing profit. While profitability is, of course, necessary, it shouldn’t come at the expense of the café’s soul. The founder’s involvement is key to ensuring the space remains true to its purpose.

Sadly, in the Bay Area, the scarcity of intimate cafés and restaurants is striking. Many establishments prioritize “fast food” (a euphemism for mediocre fare), while cafés are often staffed by individuals who seem disengaged, prioritizing their own interests over customer care.

Perhaps this cultural gap explains why so many voters gravitated toward a candidate whose priorities seem to center on swagger and wealth rather than fostering a sense of gemütlichkeit—a German word that embodies warmth, coziness, and community.

It’s time to rethink our café culture. Down with cookie-cutter chains like Starbucks! Let’s champion the rise of authentic, community-focused spaces that bring leisure back to life.

“Tell me how a people uses its leisure, and I will tell you the quality of its civilization.”— Count Maurice Maeterlinck

Alain