AUTOBUS : Véhicule qui roule deux fois plus vite quand on court après que lorsqu’on est dedans.

BANQUIER : Personne qui serait d’accord pour vous consentir un prêt a la condition que vous lui apportiez la preuve que vous n’en avez pas besoin.

CHANDAIL : Vêtement que doit porter un enfant lorsque sa mère a froid.

CONSULTANT : Se dit de celui qui consulte ta montre, te dit l’heure et te fait payer la prestation.

ECONOMISTE : Expert qui saura demain pourquoi ce qu’il a prédit hier n’est pas arrivé aujourd’hui.

FACILE : Se dit d’une femme qui a la moralité sexuelle d’un homme.

GYNECOLOGUE : personne qui travaille la ou les autres s’amusent.

INTELLECTUEL : se dit d’un individu capable de penser pendant plus de deux heures à autre chose qu’au sexe.

MAL DE TÊTE : contraceptif le plus utilisé par les femmes.

MARIAGE : Union qui permet à deux personnes de supporter des ennuis qu’ils n’auraient pas eut, s’ils étaient restés seuls.

NYMPHOMANE : terme utilisé par certains hommes pour designer une femme qui a envie de faire l’amour plus souvent qu’eux.

ORTHODONTISTE : Magicien qui vous met dans la bouche, une partie de ce qu’il vous retire des poches.

PARLEMENT : Mot étrange formé des verbes “parler” et “mentir”.

PESSIMISTE : optimiste qui a l’expérience.

PROGRES : Doctrine qui consiste a compliquer ce qui est simple.

RÉVEILLE-MATIN : Instrument inventé pour réveiller les gens qui n’ont pas de jeunes enfants.

SARDINE : Petit poisson sans tête qui vit dans l’huile.

SECRET : Information que l’on ne communique qu’a une seule personne a la fois.

SNOBISME : Action de s’acheter des choses qu’on n’aime pas avec de l’argent qu’on n’a pas dans Ie but d’impressionner des gens qu’on n’aime pas.

SYNONYME : Mot a écrire a la place de celui dont on n’est pas certain de l’orthographe.

VEDETTE : Personne qui travaille dur toute sa vie pour être connue, et qui porte ensuite de grosses lunettes noires pour ne pas être reconnue.


Style versus effectiveness

I like taking action shots, and during a tournament I can capture between 350 and 400 photos.
That’s a lot, and after I have transferred all these pictures to my computer, I try to bring that number down by weeding out everything that I deem unworthy of publishing.

The criteria that I use for publishing photos are as follows:
First, the picture has to be properly focused; second, it should be candid and third I will favor an elegant boule thrower versus a clumsy one.

Ideally speaking, I would like to retain the most elegant pictures, but sometimes I keep and publish some shots that are not particularly graceful.
The main reason for doing this is my innate sense of fairness.

Most of the people like to see pictures of themselves, but few people have the natural ability to display elegance in motion.
Some people tend to look clumsy, and I try to spare feelings by not displaying unflattering shots.
Just like beautiful people, players showing an elegant form get better coverage than clumsy looking ones. It is not fair but every grownup should be resigned to the fact that life is not particularly fair.

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But good form doesn’t necessarily equate with effectiveness, and vice-versa. A player can be highly photogenic but ineffective, while another one can look ungainly and be very successful.
And depending on age, infirmities or athletic abilities, some people are unable to display a fluid playing style.
Should they be shunned for it? No. I think that they deserve the right to have their moment in the sun like anybody else.

If you want to improve the way you look, you might ask a friend to videotape you. That’s what was being done when I was skiing.
Then you could show the clip to your friends and ask them to give you an honest assessment of your playing style.
You will probably lose most of your friends but you will definitely understand why you are not featured in Sports Illustrated.

I understand that Marco Foyot (a renowned French pétanque player) is coming to our area very soon.
If you don’t particularly like the way you look on pictures, now is the time to book him for a few private lessons and a complete pétanque makeover.




A little while ago somebody suggested that I watch a show called “Big Love”. Being the obliging chap that I am, I did so.
Big Love turned out to be an unusual marital marathon.

It is an American television show that first aired on HBO, and it features a polygamist Mormon family living in Utah.
In this story, a businessman is wedded to three different women who live in adjacent houses.

There is Wife Number One (the oldest), Wife Number Two and Wife Number Three (the youngest). They call themselves “sisterwives” and form an uneasy alliance that includes nine children.
The husband, under the dual umbrella of religion and duty, shares the bed of a different wife every night. Needless to say that this job requires exceptional mental and physical stamina (and occasional chemical assistance).

Some men might think that is cool, but it appears that polygamy it is not all what it is cracked up to be.
Being married to a single woman is taxing enough, but having to deal with three women at once time strikes me as the pinnacle of lunacy.
The man has to fulfill the emotional, sexual, and financial needs of three different females and this is more than any fellow can handle.
Then there is also the ever-present stress of keeping this cozy arrangement secret for the high-minded neighbors must not know about this unconventional modus vivendi.
This is not a job for Joe Schmo, it is a job for the Man in Tights.

Fellow men, a word of advice if I may.
Don’t be a tightrope walker and don’t bite more than you can chew.
A single woman is more than a match for you.

If the same daily offering easily bores you, don’t get embroiled in any kind of matrimony… and absolutely not in polygamy.

Opt instead for the glamorous role of perennial bachelor (see George Clooney).
This exalted status will keep you in good standing with your neighbors, female admirers and will allow you to spread your benevolence evenly (and without strings) to all of them.

You need to remember that matrimony is not for the faint hearted. According to statistics, more than fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce.
If marry you absolutely must, make it clear from the outset that you need some elbow room.
Instead of a “prenup” suggest separate living quarters or at least a very large apartment that will afford some privacy.
When in need of company, send flowers to your wife and arrange for an amorous encounter.

You have to admit that seeing somebody on a date is more thrilling that seeing somebody in bathrobe and curlers.

So again be wary of matrimony, and if you know what’s good for you never succumb to the siren song of polygamy.