Au Cochonnet Marin

Nowadays everywhere I go I see men hugging, and I am not talking solely about homosexuals.

Once a taboo among young heterosexual males, hugging has become a fashionable ritual for tattooed young men.

I don’t mind an occasional “abrazo”, but I balk at being subjected to this ostentatious routine on a regular basis.
With guys, I favor the tried-and-true handshake.

It is said that the handshake originated as a way to prove that your hand was not holding a knife.
Even though handshakes are known to spread germs, they are much safer in my opinion than the embrace. Especially among mafiosi.

As a fan of The Sopranos, I have learned that the embrace is often the prelude to a violent demise. You embrace a guy to allay his fears and soon after, you whack him.
And technically speaking, it is much easier to plant a knife in the back of your “amico” while hugging than when shaking hands.

You might have noticed that I very seldom hug anybody on the pétanque field. You never know who is a sore loser.

“Keep your friends close and keep your enemies closer” is another common saying. It makes sense.
I am pretty sure that Marcus Brutus embraced Julius Caesar before stabbing him to death.
A handshake could have prevented this ignominious ending.

I also favor the old-fashioned handshake because it gives you the measure of a man. A weak grip betrays an untrustworthy man.
He is definitely not into you, when with a limp shake he professes to enjoy meeting you.

When on September 22, 1938 Hitler shook hands with Neville Chamberlain I bet you that he probably offered Neville a very limp grip.
In his overwhelming desire to prevent war, Chamberlain probably did not notice this. Too bad.
Had he been a little less focused on peace, he should have embraced that malevolent little man and speared him with a cheese knife while he had the chance.

If you are a guy, when you see me, don’t hug me.
If you like me, just extend your hand and offer me with some moola.
That will do very nicely and it will be very much appreciated.

Alain

I may be drunk, Donald, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly. Winston Churchill

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The GOP campaign is now reaching critical mass.

Donald Trump, aka the “The Mouth that Roars”, having bullied his way to the top is about to become the figurehead of the Republican Party.
It is an unmitigated disaster for America and the free world. It is an event akin to 1933, when Adolf Hitler became chancellor of Germany.

The party of Abraham Lincoln lost its way a long time ago and is now wandering further and further in political extremism.

America has traditionally been the champion of democratic values that almost every nation on earth is looking up to.
Trump’s anointment as leader of the Republican Party is about to change that perception.

Trump (“I am really smart”) is a crude, rude, ignorant, bombastic, populist egomaniac shooting from the hip.
Here are some of his “intelligent” positions (quoted in in the media) on vital issues:

Immigration
Trump will forcefully deport about 13 million illegal Mexicans, build a gigantic wall across our Southern border to keep them out and make Mexico pay for it.
Realistic, brilliant, constructive! Mexico will definitely oblige.

Abortion
“Public funding of abortion providers is an insult to people of conscience at the least and an affront to good governance at best.”
Trump has flip-flopped on this issue more than once. Now, to secure the Evangelical crowd, he backs the pro-life side without any regard for the mental, physical and financial well being of women.

Guns
“If you had more guns, you’d have more protection because the right people would have the guns. (The Wall Street Journal)
Trump will give guns to everybody to stop America’s endemic killing . Another brilliant solution. Why didn’t we think of that before?

Foreign policy
Trump favors Carpet Bombing our enemies, Russian style. This will definitely stop conflicts and buys us new friends all over the world.

Taxes
“I try and pay as little tax as possible, because I hate what they do with my tax money. I hate the way they spend our money.” (NBC News)
We know that Donald. By the way, could we please see your tax returns for the last 10 years?

Health care
“I would end Obamacare and replace it with something terrific, for far less money for the country and for the people,” said Trump. (KCCI Des Moines)
The next insanely great thing, no doubt about it. Give us some details please.

Environment
“Global warming is an expensive hoax!” (Trump on Twitter)
The Donald of course, knows best. Just trust him and don’t ask stupid questions. Who are you going to believe, your eyes or him?

Lately Trump professed to ignore who or what the KKK stands for. A rather lame answer for a “really smart” guy.

To sum it up, Donald Trump is a dangerous flimflam man, a snake oil salesman who will say anything to secure a shot at the White House.
Once there, what would he do? This is a very scary thought.

If you live in a dump
Tired of being a chump
Don’t vote for Trump

If you have any common sense, Dump Trump while you still can.

Alain

Procaffinating: the tendency to postpone anything until you have had a cup of coffee.

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And a lot of people suffer from this debilitating syndrome.

When it was first introduced in Europe (around 1680), coffee was an exotic novelty served with great chichi in small cups.

Now, thanks to Mr. Howard Schultz the black stuff is poured in extra large cups to keep you going -they say- all day (and probably all night).
The reason for the ridiculous large cups is obvious: the larger the cup, the more Starbucks thinks it can (without blushing) charge you for it.

“Starbucks says they are going to start putting religious quotes on cups. The very first one will say, ‘Jesus! This cup is expensive!’”

In my book, bigger never meant better.

Coffee, like beer or cigarettes is an acquired taste. At first it tastes awful, and later on you don’t mind as much.
In my house, my cat has the most discriminating palate and I can tell you that she would not touch the stuff with a ten-foot pole.
But very often, as a result of peer pressure, you force yourself to accept some unpleasant tastes and you finally surrender.

When I initially tried beer, I felt like a baby sucking for the first time on a slice of lemon. Yuck! But after a while, my body relented and finally didn’t protest at all. Same goes for coffee. Mind over matter.

There are plenty of reasons to avoid, or at least reduce the amount of Black Gold (for Schultz) that you drink.

Among other things, coffee will make you nervous, irritable. Everybody knows that.
It will also cause insomnia and restlessness.
Caffeine will boost your blood pressure and cause blood sugar swings.
It will dehydrate your body and cause wrinkles.
It will raise your LDL cholesterol levels.
It is also notoriously bad for pregnant women.

So before ordering your nth cup of Joe, be aware of what it does to you.
Or even better, drink water. It is still (maybe not for long) cheap.

Many people though don’t come to Starbucks merely for coffee. They come because they need to temporarily escape from their tedious routine.
If somebody could come up with an alternative to coffee (yes it is possible), and sell it (in small cups) in a pleasant venue, we might be able to get rid of the black stuff and send Howard Schultz and his pontificating packing.

I (and probably legions of people) am waiting for this benefactor like believers are waiting for the Messiah.

Alain

Talking about the Messiah…

“The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around.”
Herb Caen