Spammed!


The Senate voted 97-0 for an anti-spam bill to stop those annoying things you get on your computer. The senators made it very clear that when you start misleading the American people and start taking their money over false promises, that are our turf, buddy!
Jay Leno

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Friends, Pétanquophiles, countrymen, lend me your ears. I have been “slimed”. More accurately I have been viciously “spammed”!
Last week my blog mailbox was flooded with unsolicited messages that kept piling up at a frightening rate.

“Electronic spamming is the use of electronic messaging systems to repeatedly send unsolicited messages (especially advertising) to the same site.”
It is named after Spam, a luncheon meat, by way of a Monty Python sketch about a menu that includes Spam in every dish.”

Thanks to a trusted friend the problem has been fixed, but this incident is a stark reminder that all is not sugar and spice and everything nice in cyberspace.

For a blogger, noticing an increased readership is heartening but a sharp readership spike can be troubling. It means that somehow, somewhere, you touched a raw nerve and somebody is reacting. This is one of the pitfalls of running a blog. You will sometimes unwittingly offend somebody and I am probably guilty of that.

I don’t pretend to be right on every issue I write about, but I speak from the heart and yes I will sometimes go cross the grain.
But this is still a free country, isn’t? Or is it?

The Big Question is: whom did I offend?
A bored teenager? An antisocial misfit? A miffed pétanque player? A scorned lover? A Russian operative? A Mar-a-Lago minion?
Being an equal opportunity offender, the possibilities are endless.

Email is a very convenient tool, but like atomic energy it can be used in a harmful way.

One more time, be careful out there and don’t blindly click on any unknown link sent to you by well meaning friends.

Spamfully yours,

Alain

Computer Syntax

 

Treat your password like your toothbrush.  Don’t let anybody else use it, and get a new one every six months.  ~Clifford Stoll

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A computer is like a good butler, but unlike its human counterpart it is extremely fastidious. It absolutely does not allow any error. If you have a poor penmanship and if on top of this you are a sloppy speller, you are bound to have a very difficult relationship with your manservant.

In computer language nothing is inconsequential. A period, a comma, a semi-colon, a forward slash, an uppercase… nothing, absolutely nothing can be overlooked, especially when it comes to passwords.
Like an ornery donkey, your computer will refuse to go anywhere if you cannot correctly provide the right carrot.

A little while ago I had to transfer my web-hosting outfit to another company. What looked like an easy task turned out to be an absolute nightmare. And I have (unfortunately) nobody to blame but myself.

During the migrating process I omitted to insert a semi-colon in some specific area and the computer obstinately refused to obey any of my commands.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there’s no law against whacking them around a little. ~Eric Porterfield

I was about to whack the beast, when I finally spotted the error. One added keystroke and the problem was resolved, but this incident clearly demonstrates the utmost importance of each character.

In this day and age your email address is your window to the world, and you cannot when asked for it, hurriedly scribble illegible characters on a piece of paper. You need to print everything very carefully and make sure that every symbol is unmistakably correct.

If you want to get along with your computer, treat it the way you want to be treated, with utmost respect.
Some people kneel and appeal to statues made of stone. I prefer to bow respectfully before my gentleman’s gentleman each time its services are required.

Alain ?

PS: Never let a computer know you’re in a hurry.  

Of boobs and babes

 

“Girls have got balls. They’re just a little higher up, that’s all.” ― Joan Jett

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The world of entertainment is extremely fond of award ceremonies. The last time I checked I counted 24 of them. Twenty-four a year, in America only. And I am not including Cannes, La Mostra di Venezia, the Nika Award and whatever is happening in Latin America.
That comes if I am not mistaken to about one ceremony every 15 days.

With awards hanging from just about every tree in Hollywood, if an actor doesn’t manage to snare a trophy within 2 or 3 years of his career, he/she better quit the business. He is not good enough or not whorish enough.

Each award ceremony showcases so-called “beautiful people” who all try to outdo each other.
During the awards presentation, men are now soulfully kissing each other and women… women are showing their boobs. Even if you are nobody, a good boob display (even a side boob view) will nevertheless put you in the limelight.
Each ceremony has essentially become a glorified Booborama.

I have nothing against breasts mind you and I am rather fond of them but it is the girls’ look of contrived innocence that bothers me.
My boobs are sticking out? Oh I didn’t notice…
You didn’t notice? With no bra and a blouse open to the navel?

I know that we are not supposed to stare, but what can you do when these things are poking you in the eye? Staring at a woman’s breasts, Seinfeld once said, “…is like looking at the sun. You’re supposed to just take one peek and then look away!”

But boobs, due to their wicked aura, still fascinate and the ingénues know it. It is undeniable that they are using their feminine wiles to attract attention.
But they have to be careful: not all boobs are born equal; if they are not up to snuff catty critics will suggest to keep those “assets” in their holster.

I might be speaking out of jealousy… Men cannot pull off such derring-do deeds. I don’t think that they could show up on the podium with an open shirt revealing a hairy chest, or going panty less…
Well you never know… Thinking about it, I suspect that many men go commando with just a thin layer of material protecting the public.

The purpose of showbiz is to captivate, and as long as society frowns on bare breasts, nymphets will do their wicked best to direct your stare to a hazardous area that might induce temporary blindness.

Alain 

“I’m in showbiz. I look at my boobs like they’re show horses or show dogs. You’ve got to keep them groomed.” Dolly Parton