Au Cochonnet Marin

The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets. Al McGuire

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I will never praise enough the protective and curative properties of laughter.
More than anything else, a good sense of humor is the quality that you wish the good fairy would bestow on your cradle.
It will be your survival kit, your shield, your flak jacket against the vicissitudes of life.

Never mind beauty; it is fleeting.
Never mind thoughtfulness; it is for wimps.
Never mind charisma; unless you run for office or aim for the papacy.

Humor is what attracts the girls, protects you from bullies and will give you a pass to the best venues in the world. It is Scheherazade Redux. It will give you at least 1000 days to extricate yourself from the toughest spots.

Humor allows you to take the edge off of once taboo subjects such as sex, religion and politics and make it palatable to the self-righteous crowds. You can almost say anything if you season it properly with giggling spices.

Laughter is welcome by most but feared by autocrats and religious zealots. For it is a difficult foe. Attacking laughter is a cardinal sin. It is like bashing Santa Claus. Unthinkable! Inconceivable!

The only effective weapon against laughter is kryptonite. And kryptonite, ardently pursued by bullies of all kinds, is extremely rare and hard to find. So, no matter what, the day belongs to the one that leaves you laughing.

There is one only one taboo against laughter. You cannot laugh at the expense of the weak or defenseless. It would be like killing baby seals. Absolutely detestable.
Except for that, nothing and nobody is off-limits.

Ruffle your constituents’ feathers and it the constituents’ duty to fight back by laughing at the offender, regardless of his rank and regardless of his wealth.

Eat, drink and be merry for nobody knows what tomorrow will be.

Alain ?

 

The umpire is the most helpful guy of the Concours; he is even willing to get on his knees to help us.

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Wednesday April 5 marked the opening of the Pétanque Marinière Spring League and I don’t mind saying that it was very successful.

Thirty-eight (38) people of all stripes showed up to play and it almost felt like a regularly scheduled tournament day.

People came in droves from all parts of the Bay Area and we owe it mainly to Brigitte Moran, our fighting hausfrau.
I suspect that people would not dare to refuse her for fear of being kneed in the groin or whacked on the head by her long sword.

Regardless, it was a very well attended affair and one should remember that the proceeds of this event end up in the coffers of the club and help us revitalize our organization.
Brigitte has done a lot to recruit new members and our once unadventurous club is poised to become one of the most popular associations of the Bay Area.
A prerequisite to play is the League by the way, is that pétanque aspirants have to agree to join our club.

The Spring League being played during working days’ evenings (when people walk their children or dogs) gives us an above average exposure and the more participants promenaders see on the field, the better for it is for us.

We are not a bunch of weirdos anymore, we are becoming mainstream.

Hail  Brigitte, our Maid of Orleans!

Alain  ?

 

“When you are not practicing, remember, someone somewhere is practicing, and when you meet him you will win”.
Ed Macauley

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Si vis pacem, para bellum the Romans used to say, “If you want peace, prepare for war”.
Or in other words, if you want to prevail, you need to practice… relentlessly.

To be a well-rounded pétanque player you need to know how to “point” AND how to “shoot”. Without this additional skill a pointer is just like a tennis player without a backhand. An incomplete, very vulnerable player.

When you play a casual game of pétanque, the stated goal is to win of course, but more importantly it is also to prepare you for bigger events, such as regional, national or international tournaments.
Winning is always satisfying, but it comes only second to sharpening your skills. All players (male and female), instead of restricting themselves to pointing ought to practice shooting.

You are not born a shooter. You become a shooter. And you become a shooter by practicing whenever there is an opportunity.

Winning is OK, but having fun is definitely more enjoyable than winning.
Éclate-toi! (have a blast) say the French. It should be the driving motto behind every game of pétanque.
Losing can be disheartening, but losing with panache more than makes up for a defeat. Losing with two well-executed “carreaux” under your belt is nothing to be ashamed of. Personally, I will gladly take such a loss versus a laborious 13/12 win.

Panache my friends is what makes a game memorable. Last year in Sonoma Antoine Lofaro won a tournament with two rare “carreaux” in a row.
A few days ago, Alain Marchand ended a game with another superb “carreau ». Nothing beats such an achievement my friends. It is an orgasmic feat that you need to experience at least once in your lifetime.

So, if you want to enjoy the ecstasy of the Big O, you need to practice mes amis, unrelentingly.

When you finally succeed “you will wiggle and you will shake like a big rattlesnake ♫”.

Alain