I happen to live with a woman afflicted with a strange condition.
She is unable to keep anything closed or locked up. Doors, closets, drawers, jars, bottles… everything is left hazardously open or half open, which makes matters even worse.
A jar cap might find its way back on top of the jar but in such a loose and unsecured fashion that it literally begs for an accident to happen.
I am pretty sure that there is a medical term for this disorder, but I don’t know what it is and I would be extremely grateful to anybody for setting me straight.
And if there is no such a term, there is a pressing need to identify and name this condition.
Strangely enough, even though nobody talks about it, it seems that a large number of people (mainly of the female persuasion) is afflicted with this disorder.
I know that some folks are working night and day to find cures for cancer and some other terrible diseases, but they ought (for the greater good of humanity) to also spend some time researching and eventually curing this pathological quirk.
No amount of begging or threatening seems to work. Closets and jars remain obstinately unsecured.
This illness probably stems from a deep sense of persecution that these individuals must have experienced in their youth.
They must have been abused to such an extent that no matter what, they cannot resolve to keep a door or a jar closed.
A little bit like an ex-POW unable to sleep in a closed room.
For people who don’t have to live in close proximity of those individuals, this aberration might sound a little inconsequential.
But they don’t understand the mental anguish experienced by persons having to survive in such a booby-trapped environment.
Just like an Improvised Explosive Device, a half-closed jar can go off anytime and inflict horrific mental wounds upon the recipient.
I am contemplating wearing a bulletproof jacket or, sending her to a re-education camp.
If this proves unable to remedy her condition, I might have to resort to electroshocks.
It worked for the bride of Frankenstein, I don’t see why it wouldn’t work for this poor soul.