The Open Drawer Syndrome

Have you ever heard of OPD?
No, it is not an Old Persons Disease and it does not mean Officially Pronounced Dead or Outraging Public Decency.

OPD is (according to many of my friends) a fairly common ailment called the Open Drawer Syndrome by psychologists; it seems to affect mainly female Homo Sapiens.

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I know that I have written about this before, but I think that this subject is serious enough to warrant a second look.

How can you tell if somebody is afflicted with this peculiar disorder?

Some of the known symptoms are as follows:
Near-impossibility for patients to shut drawers, cupboards or doors after they have been opened.
Becoming bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless doing something enjoyable.
Easily distracted, missing details, forgetting things, and frequently switching from one activity to another.
These manifestations are usually associated with the Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder.

For most men it is a very annoying peculiarity because they usually operate according to a simple, rational principle: “A place for everything and everything in its place.”

 A drawer that remains open after it has served its purpose is an aberration; it is highly illogical. But then, are women operating by the same sterling standards as men?
Many doubt it.

Logic is not part of the female’s modus operandi (way of operating).

What seems logical, sensible to men often goes against the grain for the fair sex. They always do the unexpected and thus highly confuse their enemies.

This particular trait makes them formidable foes at guerilla warfare.
Instead of sending the Marines to trouble spots, we ought to consider sending women tormented by OPD.
Due to their unpredictable tactics, they could in a matter of days clean up large areas presently occupied by ISIS.

I envision these women charging enemy positions, topless (an extremely scary sight for some) and carrying small open drawers on their shoulders.
The enemy unused to such dastardly tactics would certainly flee in disarray. Just the sight of bare breasts could shake them to the core, and the ominous look of open drawers would definitely send them fleeing in panic.

Am I exaggerating? NO… maybe… just a little bit. But this syndrome is real and can negatively affect relationships.

Is there a cure for this disturbing disorder? I don’t know, but gene therapy seems to be a promising option.

Alain

Oracles

Before making important decisions, the Ancients would always consult an oracle, usually a priestess acting as a medium with the gods. Based on her prophecy, many resolutions would be approved, deferred or entirely cancelled.

In Ancient Greece, Cassandra famously warned the Greeks about the Trojan Horse and foresaw the destruction of Troy; unfortunately nobody believed her.
They should have.

I believe in seers and I would be happy to seek and follow their advice anytime, but today alas, it is difficult to find a bona fide oracle. Due to an acute shortage of virgin priestesses, many people are unable to consult them and rush into unwinnable situations.

This rambling preamble to let you know that some days you should not even get out of bed. No matter what you will try, you will fail.
Some people call this “getting up on the wrong side of the bed”, but the truth is that on this day the Gods resolved not to favor you.

I have experienced this situation many times.
I have lost many pétanque games 0/13 against people who were not that great and I have also won games 13/0 against people who were better than me.

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Yesterday, in the finals of the Night Fall League my partner (Jacques Gautier) and I won three games in a row, by a wide margin.
But when you win a game by an extremely wide margin, it does not mean that you are an extraordinary gifted player; it simply means that you were lucky, or much more likely that the Gods smiled on you.
Yesterday was such a day. Not matter how good our opponents, we could not lose.

We all have such days, but we never know ahead of time what’s going to happen. Hence the need for a good, certified oracle.
It is far better to consult the Gods (all of them) than blindly venture into an unwinnable situation.

If you lose, don’t feel bad. You might have done something to offend the divinities. It is fairly easy to remedy.
Gods (like politicians) are fond of offerings. Deposit some of their favorite food (or gold) in front of their altar and you might be forgiven.
Chocolate éclairs (or bullions) work well.

Alain

Pointeur

The more I play pétanque and the more I realize the importance of the “pointeur” in a game. A good pointer will win the game for his team; a mediocre or erratic pointer will definitely scuttle his team’s chances.

A round of pétanque is basically a brief firefight between two squads supplied with a limited amount of bullets. They must make each shot count.

fullsizeoutput_cfacIn a pétanque game, the pointer plays first and must cast his boule as close as possible to the goal (le cochonnet).
The first boule is crucial; it will dictate what happens next.
A well-positioned first boule brings about two options for the opposing team:
It can force the opposing pointer to expend all his boules, or it will compel the “shooter” to fire and sacrifice a precious shot.
Most of the time, it is the team first running out of ammo that will lose the fight.

Pointing can be done standing or crouching.
A good pointer must know how to read the terrain, bumps, slope, and obstacles for the condition of the field dictates how a boule will be played.
If you do not point first, it is important to watch where your opponent’s boule lands and in which direction it rolls.

A quality pointer basically forces the opposite shooter to fire and in effect ultimately disarms him. A good shooter without ammo is as effective as a gunslinger armed with a baby pacifier.
It is important to remember that a team without a good pointer cannot be saved by the shooter.

At the end of a game/tournament, the shooter often gets all the glory, but when the winning team stands on the podium it should be recognized that the pointer deserves as much credit as the shooter.

Sometimes there are shooting contests. To be fair, there also ought to be pointing contests to highlight and recognize the skills of a pointer.

In my book, Holly Sammons is one of the best pointers in the Bay Area and was always instrumental in any victory that her team achieved.
I tip my hat to her and to all the often-unheralded pointers of the game.

Pointeurs, pointeuses, je vous tire mon chapeau! I take my hat off to you

Alain