Au Cochonnet Marin

Life is a habit. Or rather life is a succession of habits. Samuel Beckett

Most of us are creatures of habit. We don’t like changes; we like things to stay the way they are. Changes, in general, are not popular, especially with the middle-aged crowd. These people are set in their ways and feel more comfortable with the familiar, the tried and true routines.

But life does not stand still; it does not care about your habits and it has a sneaky way of hurling curveballs at you.
A few days ago I received a letter from my general practitioner notifying me that he was leaving at the end of the year; he was telling me in essence “nice to have met you, find another guy.”

This is not welcome news. Over the years I have been through a bunch of doctors before settling for one. Finding the right physician is like finding the right girlfriend; you have to take them on a road test before initiating a serious relationship, and many fail that test.

I have been with my doctor for the last 10 years and I felt comfortable with him. He was more than a doctor, he was almost a friend. He probably knew me better than my wife and took the time to listen to me. Losing him is a blow. It is a little bit like breaking up with a girlfriend. It is very upsetting. Now I have to go on an Internet dating site and find another compatible soul; and as you know, you have to kiss a lot of frogs before finding your medical prince.

Then I got word that my dentist retired. Another defection! What is this? A conspiracy? Fake news? Another blow. My dentist was not perfect, but I was used to him especially his teeth cleaning associate. Now I have to find another dental maestro… what a drag…

In life, you need to have in your Rolodex a list of people that you can count on. You need to know a reliable plumber, an electrician, a contractor, a roofer, a dentist, a doctor, a car mechanic, a shrink, a lawyer, a barber, a computer geek, an escort… a mafia Don?
If one of those defects, it throws a monkey wrench into your mechanic. You have to audition new candidates and it can be a frustrating and costly experience.

So here we are, two weeks before Christmas, with no health specialists to call my own… what is a guy to do?

Santa, if it is not too late, drop a decent doctor and a dependable dentist in my chimney. I believe in you and I promise to be good in 2018.

Your friend, Alain

If you were not in San Rafael yesterday you missed a great day of pétanque.
Sure it was cool in the morning, but the rest of the day was absolutely splendid. The temperature never rose above 65° F but the afternoon was sunny and very pleasant.

Twenty contestants were fashioned in ten doublettes teams and they were as follows:

1. Mark Shirkey & Larry Cragg
2. Henry Wessel & Liza Moran
3. Jacques Rattaire & Daniel Martinez
4. Jean-Michel Poulnot & Yeisi Martinez
5. Miller Zea & Alain Efron
6. Jean-Claude Bunand & Wyatt
7. Brigitte Moran & Charlie Davantes
8. Jean-Claude Etallaz & Tamara Efron
9. François Moser & Calvert Barron
10. William LaVelle & Mireille Di Maio

You might have noticed that they were 3 newcomers, 3 congenial youngsters from Colombia named Daniel, his sister Yeisi and Miller. They are beginners but they show great promises. I promise you that in a few months and they will give you a run for your money. I also understand by the way, that they will become members of our club starting next year.

Pastries and coffee were offered before the beginning of the tournament that started around 10:30 am. Two games were played in the morning and 3 games in the afternoon. The winners were determined as usual by the number of games won and by the number of points accumulated.

I was paired with newcomer Miller Zea and we did all right in the morning. I played as a pointer and Miller was the enforcer. We won 2 games before noon. In the afternoon we did not do as well, losing consecutively 3 games in a row (2-11, 11-13, 8-13). That’s the way the croissant crumbles…

My wife Tamara and Jean-Claude Etallaz fared much better (she always does) snatching second place (and big money). I might have to take lessons from her… Drat!

The top dogs were Jacques Rattaire (who you should know, comes all the way from Redwood City) and newcomer Daniel Martinez. They won 4 games and barely lost one 12-13. Congratulations y felicitaciones amigos!

If you did not notice, Jean-Claude Bunand was wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with the head of Johnny Hallyday, a French rocker who died a few days ago.
France honored him with a national tribute? This guy was never my cup of tea, but seems to be have been appreciated by a bunch of people… especially Jean-Claude.

Final results:

1^st place: Jacques Rattaire & Daniel Martinez
2^nd place: Jean-Claude Etallaz & Tamara Efron
3^rd place: Larry Cragg & Mark Shirkey
4^th place: William LaVelle & Mireille Di Maio
5^th place: François Moser & Calvert Barron

And that was the day that was.

Alain

To look at photos of this event, click on the “My Photos” link located on the right side of this page. For best viewing, go Full Screen.

Just like butter, laughing matters are now in short supply. Between the crass ineptitude of our “chosen” headman and the sexual harassment epidemic, we are gasping for fresh air. Laughing might be is the answer.

Contrary to American lore, my life goal has never been the boring pursuit of happiness. My own Holy Grail is the quest for laughter. I know that this sounds un-American, but I don’t care. My ultimate objective in life is to be laughing as much as I can… hopefully on my way to the bank.

Laughter is the universally recognized remedy for a variety of ailments. It is more effective than any pills peddled by Big Pharma, and it is much, much more cost-effective.

Personally, I am leery of people who never smile and constantly say, “Believe me”. Who knows what brews in the mind of an unsmiling character?
A smiling person will seldom harm you, while a sinister-looking character probably will. Himmler, it seems, practically never smiled.

As a matter of fact, there ought to be a court-appointed jester in every institution of the land… especially in Congress. Neutralized and united by laughter, timorous congressmen may finally agree on a few things and pass some needed bills.

Against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand. — Mark Twain

If you are attentive, you can find laughing matters in many places… starting with our own Casa Blanca and its fauna.

To sum it up, if you want to live a long healthy life, practice laughing daily. Laugh while doing yoga, paying taxes or doing your sandbag workout. No matter what, laugh Pagliaccio, laugh because laughing is far more potent than crying.

I will now decamp with the time-honored showbiz motto “Always Leave Them Laughing”:

A nice lady went into a pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist and said, “I would like to buy some cyanide.”
-The pharmacist asked, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?”
-The lady replied, “I need it to poison my husband.”
-The pharmacist exclaimed, “Lord have mercy! I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband. That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license! They’ll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!”
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, that’s different. You didn’t tell me you had a prescription.”

Alain