Au Cochonnet Marin

I am no Sherlock Holmes but I can always tell if a crime has been committed or if somebody broke into my office. My MO has always been “a place for everything and everything in its place.” So if anything looks even slightly out of place, I know that my safety perimeter has been breached.

The two most likely perpetrators are my cat and our grandson.

The cat prefers to operate under the cover of darkness. She possesses night vision goggles and her Native American name is “She who walks in the dark.” While everybody is snoozing, she gets up and goes on patrol. She examines/sniffs every single object in her path. If something catches her fancy she will bat it for a while. If she deems that thing amusing, she will play with it briefly and then abandon it.
How do I know that she was there? There might be footprints or hair (most likely) left on the scene of the crime. I even found a whisker once.

Our grandson is more like a bungling bandito. He does not dwell in the dark but operates under the blanket of innocence. He casually strolls into a room and investigates (flips, opens, uncorks, disassembles, deconstructs) whatever is in his reach.

The problem is that you cannot stay mad at these two scoundrels. The cat, no matter what you tell her, remains as cool as a cucumber. Even when obviously guilty, she never blinks. Under duress, she might give you her name, rank and microchip number. But that’s all. She is a tough bird.

Our grandson cunningly plays the educational card. “I was just trying to figure out how that thing works.” Yes, I was unable to put it back to his original state, but I did this because I am eager to learn. Learning is not a crime, or is it?
Well no… technically it is not a crime…

How do you deal with these two rascals?
Kill them with kindness, that’s how! After a little research, I came to the conclusion that to prevent crime, you need to wear out the offenders. Play with them until exhaustion… Until they (or you) fall flat on their backs begging for mercy.

A cat by the way, is easier to fatigue than a kid. Play 20 minutes with her and she is ready for a nap. A kid on the other hand, has inexhaustible energy. He will wear you out before you can tame him.

Treats are my Kryptonite. When the kid is overwhelming you, buy him off with a goody of any kind. Destroy his supernatural buoyancy through his stomach.

“the way to a scoundrel’s heart is through his stomach.”

That’s what wives have done for centuries to tame their wayward husbands.

Alain

“All successful businesses pay attention to customer service. As without your customers you have no business. The higher the level of satisfaction a customer has is one of the determining factors in the success of any business.” Catherine Pulsifer

Nothing irks me more than poor customer service. It aggravates me to no end when I have to wait an inordinate amount of time due to the ineptness of some employee.

I will (reluctantly I admit) put up with waiting if I perceive that the person in charge is doing the best he/she can do. But it absolutely drives me crazy if I feel that some “schmo” is not up to the job.

This morning I went to a local Safeway store to do a little grocery shopping. I went there out of convenience. The store is close by and it has a good array of products. But unfortunately, convenience is often synonymous with poor or inexistent service.

When in a supermarket, after your shopping is done, you ultimately have to pick a cash register line. Your goal is to get out of the store as quickly as possible and go about your business.

You gauge the people (and their caddies) waiting in the different lines, the employees in charge and you place your bet: you pick a line. But many things can go wrong. You can have pesky customers, a slow cash register handler or both.

My cash register jockey this morning happened to be an elderly black woman who was either very inexperienced or brain-dead. It also looked like that she desperately needed a pair of glasses. She was so agonizingly slow that I felt like screaming.

Some people should never be in a position to interact with a customer. You could be a great chef, a great mechanic or an outstanding engineer, but this alone does not qualify you for dealing with the public.

If you lack personal skills but are efficient, that will work for me. If on the other hand you are not up to speed but have an engaging personality, this will also win me over. But it you lack both qualities, we are in a confrontational course; it is more than probable that I will never deal with your business again.

In Marin County by the way, I highly recommend a hardware store called Pini. It has the best customer service anyone could wish for. In a perfect world, all stores would be Pini clones.

Dealing with the public is a difficult job. If you don’t have the inherent skills, don’t go against the grain. Become a prison guard, a fisherman or join the Marines but don’t interact with (often difficult) paying customers.

Alain

One goal of law – as we learn in law school from the first day of contracts – is to deter bad behavior. Marvin Ammori

Bad behavior is not (and should not be) tolerated in any society. It usually reflects a lack of good manners, insecurity and a great deal of selfishness.

People or nations’ bad behavior  is usually penalized by sanctions. When I was a child, misbehaving in the classroom meant banishment (in a kneeling position) to a corner of the room.

Sanctions can take different forms; it can be restriction on admission, freezing of assets, economic sanctions, but the most feared punishment is ostracism. In ancient Greece, it was the temporary banishment from a city by popular vote. In modern times it is the exclusion of a person from a society or group.

Especially relevant, if you misbehave repeatedly you will be excluded, denied access to activities enjoyed by all.

Different societies have been using different types of ostracism for a long time. During the Black Death plague epidemic in seventeenth-century Venetian, all ships were required to be isolated for forty days (quaranta giorni) before passengers and crew could go ashore.

In Amish society, shunning is imposed for bad behavior. It means emotional distance, social rejection by an entire congregation.

Many pétanque players unconsciously abide by the same Amish code. If you clash repeatedly with your fellow players, soon  or later you will be shunned. And you will live to regret it.

Remember, you sleep in the bed you made. If dark clouds come your way, there will be nobody to blame but yourself.

Alain