Category: Fourre-tout

Undeterred by the specter of Covid-19 (and the maddening, outrageous shortage of vaccines), pétanque is alive and well. Despite its macabre reputation, the virus might inadvertently have reinforced the bonds shared by all club members.

After months of forced isolation, everybody (included our pets) craves human contact, and open space… and pétanque is the ideal activity to fulfill those cravings.
Besides the healthy exertion provided by this discipline, pétanque also dispenses a much-needed dose of adrenaline and congeniality. Many come to the field to play, but also to relieve stress.

Today, when you play pétanque, you have to wear a mask, but unlike many other sports, you don’t make body contact with anybody. And talking about close proximity… during the pandemic, some people have used sex to relieve the stress. But did they wear a mask during this interlude? According to the experts, it would be safer to do so. Some people think that it adds spice to the occasion, but altogether most everybody agrees that pétanque is safer than sex… maybe a tad less stimulating.

OTTAWA (Reuters) – Skip kissing and consider wearing a mask when having sex to protect yourself from catching the coronavirus, Canada’s chief medical officer said on Wednesday, adding that going solo remains the lowest risk sexual option in a pandemic.

And for statistic lovers, pétanque burns way more calories than a romp in the sack. According to the New England Journal of Medicine, “the average bout of sexual activity lasts for only about six minutes” while a good round of pétanque can last between 3 or 4 hours, even more for some.

Lately, due in good part to Christine’s (our venerable president) recruiting efforts, we have seen a notable increase in new members. In the last few months, at least 10 women have joined our club, and some have become steady fixures on our field.

One especially comes to mind. Her name is Ann, and besides being a warm, funny human being, she now eats and breathes pétanque. She is eager to learn and has tremendously improved her game since she appeared on the field. When the time comes, she will make a solid tournament partner.

To sum it up, pétanque is alive and well, and growing in popularity… especially among women. Which is a good thing because…

“Those people who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.”

Those people, as irritating as they can be, are the indispensable addition to our club.

Alain

Why are you writing a blog? some people ask me…

The answer is simple and complex at the same time….
Blogging, especially today, is akin to a safety valve. When the pressure of the world closes in on you, you carefully open that valve and let some steam out. This mechanism prevents you in times of crisis from exploding and harming somebody.
I daresay that If there were more bloggers in the world, there would be fewer homicides.

Today, even though we have a new commander in chief, there are still many things to be mad about. My latest beef has been with Kaiser Permanente and its flagrant inability to provide vaccines for its membership… my blog is my way of venting.

I cannot comprehend why Kaiser with 12.4 million members does not have enough clout to procure vaccines for at least half of its membership. If it was a two-bit outfit I would understand, but 12 million people…

In a recent bulletin, Kaiser said:

“Based on current supply, it is estimated that the current prioritized populations will take a few months to vaccinate. We expect vaccine supply to increase over time so that all adults can get vaccinated by late 2021.”

Thank you, Big K, for this very comforting bit of news.

They say Moderna and Pfizer’s vaccines are in short supply, but those are not the only vaccines available. There are some others.
The American press has had a lot of fun deriding the Russian Sputnik V vaccine, but as it turns out, it is “91.6% effective against symptomatic Covid-19 and 100% effective against severe and moderate disease.”

“The vaccine is already approved in Russia, Belarus, Serbia, Argentina, Bolivia, Algeria, Venezuela, Paraguay, Turkmenistan, Hungary, UAE, Iran, Guinea, Tunisia, Armenia, and the Palestinian territories. Sputnik V has so far been administered to more than 2 million people worldwide.”

So, if there is a shortage of Western approved vaccines, what prevents outfits like Kaiser to purchase the “commie” vaccine? Politics? Is it better to have millions of people perish rather than purchasing stuff from Putin and his cronies? I don’t think so.

So, this so-called shortage is as usual artificial and hamstrung by politics and money.

And my statement is definitely not as outrageous as congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene “calling for Pelosi to be shot in the head, claiming that the California wildfires were started by a Jewish space laser, and harassing a survivor of the Parkland school shooting.”

And the above my friends is partly why I write a blog.
After getting this off my chest, I definitely feel better and resigned (one more time) to wait a little longer to get my shot in the arm, thank you.

Alain

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Vaccines are coming, vaccines are coming! Millions of doses…This was advertised with great fanfare at least 2 months ago… But at the beginning of February 2021, where exactly are these exotic animals? It seems to be a well-guarded secret. No matter where I turned to, I hit the same wall. We don’t have them… we will tell you when we’ll get them. Wait your turn.

Well, I have been waiting and waiting (and occasionally calling) but with no appreciable results. Kaiser Permanente, my health manager, has not been particularly helpful or forthcoming. When you call or check their website, you are regaled with the following message:

“Due to limited vaccine supplies we are currently prioritizing health care workers and people 75 and older.”

I understand the policy about essential workers, and I approve of it, but as an octogenarian (phase 1b) I am still waiting for my shot. I am still in limbo while younger non-essential workers already managed to get inoculated.
So what am I? chopped liver?

What happened to the highly touted “warp speed” (an extremely rapid rate of speed) operation? A general (now MIA) was in charge of that program and after months of questionable delays I suddenly remembered what Georges Clemenceau thought about military leaders:

“War is too serious a matter to entrust to military men.”

Because (and I am tired to repeat it) we are in a war, and it ought to be taken seriously.
Instead of generals and politicians, we ought to hire a Silicon Valley kid to streamline and expedite the vaccine operation. These guys have more brainpower than the entire American Senate.

As a matter of fact, I would not mind putting Elon Musk in charge of this war. I recently watched a video about his career and accomplishments, and I am sold on the bloke. This man has more ideas than I have hair on my skull. He really knows what warp speed is and would be eager to prove the naysayers wrong.

I visualize a slow assembly line where people would lie still while a bunch of smart robots would inoculate them at an almost warp speed.

So, what do you say Kaiser? Are you ready to speed up the process? I am waiting for my vaccine and I have too many ants in my pants.

Alain