Category: Fourre-tout

Soccer, with over 3.5 billion fans around the globe is arguably the world’s most popular sport. More than 20 million people play it in more than 140 countries.

Fifty years ago, soccer was almost totally unknown in the US, but today it is more popular than baseball, and well ahead of American football. And as a welcome development, it has also been successfully adopted by women who demanded (and are receiving) equal pay for their achievements.

The sport’s growing popularity must have something to do with the fact that it has rather simple rules and that anybody can play. But it is also a sport that ignites passions to a degree seldom seen in other disciplines. As already witnessed in some games of the FIFA World Cup in Qatar, individuals will unabashedly scream, cry, or even pray without any shade of embarrassment.

Next Sunday, Argentina will face France in the finals of the Soccer World Cup. “If the 2022 final does continue its expected surge in viewing figures, a total worldwide figure of 1.5bn does not seem unrealistic on December 18.”

It means that, if I am correct, almost 1/10 of the world’s population will stop whatever they were doing to watch the clash of the soccer titans. Do not expect anything major (even sex) to be accomplished anywhere while the game is on.

French President Emmanuel Macron was present for the semi-finals and will undoubtedly stay in Qatar to watch the finals. The French, generally speaking, are a bunch of rabble-rousers who seldom agree on anything, but this Sunday they will present a unity seldom seen in the land of Foie Gras and Champagne.

I will definitely watch this game, and despite the fact that I am a confirmed atheist, I will pray (in my own obscure way) for the victory of the French team. I just hope that a win for either group won’t be settled by an (unfair) and almost unstoppable penalty kick.

Who is going to win? Will the Argentinian Sun cofound the Gallic Rooster?

« Les prévisions sont difficiles surtout lorsqu’elles concernent l’avenir. » 

If with the inestimable help of Hugo Lloris, the French team succeeds, they will undoubtedly be feted in a glorious parade on Les Champs Élysées in Paris… and social strikes will be averted for at least a few weeks.

Allez les Bleus! Montjoie Saint Denis!

Alain

Hello Pétanque friends and welcome to my world.

My topic today is “cauchemar” (nightmare), a terrifying, traumatic dream that will leave you shaken and scarred for a long time.

Imagine for a minute that you are playing in a pétanque tournament; you are part of a Triplette team, and you are the designated shooter. You are good and your teammates (and fans) rely on you for bringing home the bacon.

You have reached the finals and you are a point away from victory. You just need to remove a pesky boule, standing about 9 meters away from you. An easy shot for an experienced player.

The dozens of spectators present are ready to celebrate. You walk slowly to the starting circle, wipe your boule carefully, take aim and let it go. The boule flies in slow motion toward the target… and misses. Merde, merde et trois fois merde!

You feel like you want to disappear and spend the rest of the month in a dark closet. You cannot look at your teammates in the eyes, and they don’t want to look at you.

Well, my friends, if you think that is a bad, traumatic cauchemar, you probably didn’t watch the soccer quarter-finals in Qatar, opposing the French national team to the English national team.

We are in the second half and the “Bleus” are leading 2-1. The English try desperately to score again, but the French defense is tough. They play rough and suddenly the English is awarded a penalty kick after one of their players was thrown to the ground by a French player.

“A penalty kick (commonly known as a penalty or a spot kick) is a method of restarting play in association football, in which a player is allowed to take a single shot at the goal while it is defended only by the opposing team’s goalkeeper. It is awarded when an offense punishable by a direct free kick is committed by a player in their own penalty area. The shot is taken from the penalty mark, which is 11 m (12 yards) from the goal line and centered between the touch lines.”

 A penalty kick is the worse thing that can happen to a team. It is almost a death warrant. It is extremely difficult to stop and most of the time, it is successful.

Harry Kane is a top goal scorer. This shot is only routine for him and here is a chance for the English team to equalize, and maybe win the game. The crowd estimated to be close to 90 000 in the stadium (and 10 billion around the world) holds its breath. Harry (as he should) takes his time, rearranges his socks, and delivers a mighty kick… that flies above the goalkeeper’s cage. The crowd (especially) the raucous English supporters are stunned. Harry Kane falls to his knees and sobs.

This is the ultimate cauchemar and I am pretty sure that it will haunt Harry for a long time. He is a great player, but he will probably be remembered in England as the guy who lost the Soccer World Cup in Qatar in 2022.

I am glad that the French won, but I feel absolutely terrible for Harry. A horrible cauchemar!

Alain

Last night I watched a “romantic” Russian movie, and this flick cemented once and for all my opinion of Russian men as lovers. They have as much sex appeal as dozing turtles. They seldom smile and don’t seem to be particularly witty. They are great as villains, but a total flop as romantic leads.

I suspect that laughter was outlawed as seditious during the Stalin era and it was never allowed to come back. Definitely not in the Putin era. Vlad’s own smile looks as sincere as Hannibal Lecter’s.

It is almost painful to watch a guy trying to win over a woman without ever smiling or uttering anything funny. The first step to enticing a woman is to make her laugh.

“Qui fait rire l’esprit, se rend maître du cœur. » (Who makes the mind laugh makes himself master of the heart)

Marylin Monroe puts it a little differently:

‘If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”

Wit and humor are often the keys to someone’s heart. Trying to seduce without these implements, is like attacking a bunker with bows and arrows. According to David M. Buss, humor is an indicator of good genes, and a fitness indicator to display excellent cognitive function.

Laughter is indispensable to all facets of life. If you cannot laugh (especially at yourself), you are condemned to a life of sorrow and loneliness. Nobody likes a sourpuss or a party pooper, hence the bad rap of poor Cassandra. Even though she was not fibbing, nobody believed her.

If you take yourself too seriously, you will lose your ability to laugh, and therefore return to a lower animal state. That’s probably why you never saw Hitler smile. The Gods seeing his perpetual sullen demeanor just demoted him to the state of animalhood.

This is not to say that animals cannot laugh, they can, but in their own way. And when you are not looking, if you are a bad human being, they will even ape and mock you.

If you wish to glimpse inside a human soul and get to know the man, don’t bother analyzing his ways of being silent, of talking, of weeping, or seeing how much he is moved by noble ideas; you’ll get better results if you just watch him laugh. If he laughs well, he’s a good man… All I claim to know is that laughter is the most reliable gauge of human nature.” – Fyodor Dostoyevsky

Laughter is an indispensable ingredient in your daily diet.  Without it, you will wither and die. People will even pay to listen to somebody who can make them laugh. This is how important it is.

If you feel depressed and sick, it is undoubtedly because you don’t laugh enough.

Alain