Polygamy

A little while ago somebody suggested that I watch a show called “Big Love”. Being the obliging chap that I am, I did so.
Big Love turned out to be an unusual marital marathon.

It is an American television show that first aired on HBO, and it features a polygamist Mormon family living in Utah.
In this story, a businessman is wedded to three different women who live in adjacent houses.

There is Wife Number One (the oldest), Wife Number Two and Wife Number Three (the youngest). They call themselves “sisterwives” and form an uneasy alliance that includes nine children.
The husband, under the dual umbrella of religion and duty, shares the bed of a different wife every night. Needless to say that this job requires exceptional mental and physical stamina (and occasional chemical assistance).

Some men might think that is cool, but it appears that polygamy it is not all what it is cracked up to be.
Being married to a single woman is taxing enough, but having to deal with three women at once time strikes me as the pinnacle of lunacy.
The man has to fulfill the emotional, sexual, and financial needs of three different females and this is more than any fellow can handle.
Then there is also the ever-present stress of keeping this cozy arrangement secret for the high-minded neighbors must not know about this unconventional modus vivendi.
This is not a job for Joe Schmo, it is a job for the Man in Tights.

Fellow men, a word of advice if I may.
Don’t be a tightrope walker and don’t bite more than you can chew.
A single woman is more than a match for you.

If the same daily offering easily bores you, don’t get embroiled in any kind of matrimony… and absolutely not in polygamy.

Opt instead for the glamorous role of perennial bachelor (see George Clooney).
This exalted status will keep you in good standing with your neighbors, female admirers and will allow you to spread your benevolence evenly (and without strings) to all of them.

You need to remember that matrimony is not for the faint hearted. According to statistics, more than fifty percent of marriages end up in divorce.
If marry you absolutely must, make it clear from the outset that you need some elbow room.
Instead of a “prenup” suggest separate living quarters or at least a very large apartment that will afford some privacy.
When in need of company, send flowers to your wife and arrange for an amorous encounter.

You have to admit that seeing somebody on a date is more thrilling that seeing somebody in bathrobe and curlers.

So again be wary of matrimony, and if you know what’s good for you never succumb to the siren song of polygamy.

Alain

 

2013 California Commemorative Cup

Here we go again… The Commemorative Cup.
Why by the way is this event called the Commemorative Cup?
According to Louis Toulon, it was created to celebrate and pay tribute to La Pétanque Marinière’s founding fathers: Louis Toulon, Jean-Louis Bontemps, Marcel Parnell, René Di Maio, and Charles Davantes.
Merci messieurs!

Contestants came from all over California in an effort to get their names engraved on the Perpetual Trophy.
In case you had forgotten, last year’s winners were Claudie Chourré and Etienne Rijkheer who defeated Ed Porto and Teri Sirico in the finals.
They teamed up again this  year for a second win.
Can it be done?
Improbable, unless they are on a Lance Armstrong regimen (which of course they will deny).
Just kidding guys!

The field looked good due in part to David Riffo and Christine Cragg who laid some highly visible strings on the ground to delimit playing boundaries.
The field was also groomed again last Saturday by a handful of volunteers.
Thank you all ladies and gentlemen for your help.

The weatherman promised good playing conditions and he kept his word. We enjoyed a cloudless sky and except for a few hours in the morning the temperature hovered around 70 degrees most of the day.

Viennoiseries” were offered by Jean-Claude Bunand. Thank you Great Bearded One! “Avec un boulanger on n’est jamais dans le pétrin.”

The format of the tournament was Mixed Doublettes (1 man + 1 woman).

Since we have twice as many men as women in our club, I assume that women were in hot demand. It is nice to be wooed ladies, isn’t it? Was it flowers? Candy? Money?
Your secret is safe with me.

Last year 20 doublettes participated in this tournament. This year we got 32!

Here are this year’s contestants:

1. PJ Mallette/N. Garrett //  2. M. Couglin/Nicole Coughlin
3. J.M Poulnot/S. Mattei // 4. F. Moser/T. Efron
5. P. Wellington/B. Hall // 6. T. Parkinson/ H. Sammons
7. J. Sarafian/A. Paulsen // 8. K. Evoy/S. Bowman
9. J.C Etallaz/ G. Etallaz // 10. E. Rijkheer/C. Chourre
11. E. Porto/T. Sirico // 12. F. Menhaus/B. Howard
13. D. Riffo/M. Bricca // 14. M. McMillan/C. McMillan
15. F. Haney/D. Haney // 16. B. Bardet/K. Summers
17. A. Marchand/E. Marchand // 18. D. Carlton/C. Jones
19. A. Lofaro/E. Lofaro // 20. A. Gusella/D. Gusella
21. L. Toulon/C. Cragg // 22. J. Gautier/M. Di Maio
23. J. Lecouturier/L. Kraft // 24. B. Passmar/C. Van Der Meulen
25. E. Moilanen/S. Garcia // 26. R. Dunn/T. Whitney
27. B. Lysten/B. Forte // 28. M. Menefee/E. McTaggart
29. P. Kos/I. Koss // 30. J.C Bunand/J. Krauer
31. R. Di Maio/H. Facchini // 32. D. Feaster/N. Feaster

If I misspelled any name, please forgive me for I just read handwriting.
If you see any mistake, send me a brief e-mail and I shall correct my mistakes.

Two 13 points qualifying games were played before lunch, and as a result 16 teams advanced to the Concours, 8 teams ended up in the Consolante A, and 8 teams in Consolante B.

After lunch

Consolante A
Parkinson/Sammons won 1st Prize by defeating Bardet/Summers

Consolante B:
Mickey and Nicole Coughlin won 1st Prize
by defeating Dunn/Whitney (13/3)

Bottles of wine for all winners.

Concours:
Semi-finals

Riffo /Bricca defeated Sarafian/Paulsen (13/4)
Di Maio/Facchini defeated Mallette/Garrett (13/10)

Finals:
David Riffo and Monique Bricca won the finals by defeating Di Maio/Facchini (13/2)

IMG_0350

The stars of the finals were definitely the women, with men playing supporting roles.
Both Monique Bricca and Helga Facchini did superb pointing jobs and both absolutely deserve to have their names engraved on the Cup.
If there was a special medal for pointing, I would give it to Monique who, on a scale from 1 to 10 would get a 9, while Helga would get an 8.
Men did what they were supposed to do, assist the women, keep quiet and strike when required.

Congratulations David and Monique!

Yesterday, Genevieve and Jean-Claude Etallaz also celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary.
Congratulations to the lovebirds.

A good tournament, and a good sign of things to come.

Alain

PS: To look at pictures (slideshow) of this event, turn the sound of your computer on, click on the “Home” link at the top of the page, and click again on “My photos” located on the right side of the page. Enjoy.

Money talks

A few days ago I deposited a check in my bank account. Despite my rather scruffy appearance bank employees treated me with a newfound respect.
The bank manager even introduced himself and pumped my hand enthusiastically.
What did I do to deserve this? Not much, except present the teller a piece of paper with a few zeroes on it.
Does that mean that money talks? No, it means that money shouts!

If you show up somewhere in a Bentley, I bet you that you will get a much better treatment and more glad-handing than if you showed up in a battered pickup truck.

Similarly, people will pay more attention to a pretty woman than they would to an ordinary looking hausfrau.
The invisible cloak of money and glamor will dictate how people perceive you and how they will deal with you.

This state of affairs is even more flagrant in Europe where appearance is everything. You could be a pauper, but if you dress smartly and give the appearance of wealth, you will be treated with all the respect due to your rank.

To trained noses, money even smells. It generates I have been told, a perfume ten times more potent than the greatest aphrodisiac.
Money sniffers can become giddy when getting a whiff of that intoxicating aroma and have sometimes to be forcibly restrained.

If somebody is looking for an idea to make a quick fortune, I recommend working on a fabric that would smell like money.
If you wore a money suit you would become irresistible to almost anybody. People would flock around you like paparazzi around Kim Kardashian’s booty.

Women, bankers, politicians, nobody can resist the sweet smell of dough.
Politicos, like bloodhounds, have a highly developed sense of smell. They can follow the scent of cabbage like truffle sniffing hogs.

We often hear about corruption in far away countries, but you don’t have to travel to Afghanistan to smell corruption.
It is alive and well on the banks of the Potomac.

These interminable debates in Washington are not really about bettering the fate of regular citizens.
They are about money, and the way to steer it or to keep it in the right pockets.

So, irrespective of their colors, shy away from money sniffing hounds, for despite their histrionics they are only working on better ways to line their pockets at your expense.

Alain