Category: Fourre-tout

“Science may never come up with a better office communication system than the coffee break.”
Earl Wilson

Or the Tin Can Phone.

In the old days people lived communally in a large hut and communication was easy. Everybody was within earshot and everybody heard and understood the meaning of the slightest grunt.

Today, with people living in larger accommodations, keeping in touch with your entourage is a tad more difficult.
Based on experience, I will say that it is a fairly common practice for a woman (busying herself in a different room of the house) to yell a question or a request to her husband.
The problem when using this crude method of communication is that it is often compounded by external noises (barking dog, passing airplane or radio) that make this kind of exchange difficult.

To me, nothing beats face-to-face communication. You only engage in a conversation when you see the white of the eyes of your interlocutor.
But for some women this is not evident.
To convey their message they first try telepathy, and when this fails, out of sheer frustration they shout.

Many men choose to ignore clamors originating from another room. If they don’t see the originator of the sound, they treat it as an auditory illusion generated by atmospheric conditions.
Most of the men would agree that it is a reasonable assumption.
But it can lead alas, to misunderstandings and conflicts.

To remedy this problem, I am planning to install a Tin Can Phone in every room of my house. It worked when I was a kid and it should work equally well today.

It is cheap (two tin cans and a taut wire) efficient and easy to install.

It will be like the Moscow-Washington hotline linking the Pentagon with the Kremlin.
In any relationship, it is a must-have apparatus designed to defuse a crisis between two nuclear-armed partners.

Why not using a cell phone, are you going to ask?
Too high tech. Too prone to interferences. In constant need of updates. Expensive. Fragile.
You can drop your Tin Can Phone a hundred times without incurring any damage.
Can you say this about your Smart Phone?

If you seem to have a problem communicating with your spouse, please use a reliable, battle tested Tin Can Phone.

Alain

Once in a while I get a glimpse of a fashion show.
The catwalk almost exclusively showcases emaciated, flat chested, androgynous looking creatures.
They walk funny, they wear the funkiest clothes and they never smile. They ooze as much personality as a broomstick and they are constantly pouting.

In spite of their high salaries, they are unhappy and always aspire to do something more “fulfilling”.
These dour looking souls are models (for whom?), and young women everywhere aspire to emulate them.
Why?

If I had my way, porn stars would replace these gloomy looking androids.
They are generally better endowed, they smile, they act, and they seem to enjoy their work.
They are also approachable, willing to sign autographs and available for private parties.

And men can relate to porn stars. They might even know them personally. This type of relationship would create bonds, and nothing sells more than bonds.
Since men often end up footing the bill for these extravagant outfits, this switch could be a forward looking business decision geared to entice more big spenders to attend fashion shows.

So what do you say mister designer?
Give us a break. Forget the bitchy and unhappy models and hire women we can relate to. A little sleaze never hurt business, au contraire.

The secret of happiness is to be happy in your work.
“Whoever does not love his work cannot hope that it will please others.”

Models, or former models could easily find work as bank tellers or custom agents and these occupations might be better suited to their quirky personalities.

Alain

PS: ex-models might also like the fact that they would not have to wear these ankle-breaking shoes dreamed up by demented misogynous “designers”.