Casting off is hard to do

I am pretty sure that most people have already been on a cruise ship, one of these large luxurious barges where the main entertainment is eating.
But not too many people are aware of the intricate technical ballet orchestrated by the bridge before the ship’s departure.

A modern cruise ship is a behemoth and it needs to complete complex maneuvers before it can get under way.
It is a delicate and a lengthy operation.

When my wife prepares to go to work, in many ways she reminds me of such an operation.
I am not implying (God forbids) that she is a behemoth, but she often acts like getting out of the house is akin to the casting off of the Queen Mary 2.

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I know that I have broached this subject before, but I think that it is worth revisiting.

When I go somewhere, I quickly check the essentials (spectacles, testicles, wallet and watch) and off I go.
When I close the door behind me, it is the point of no return. Alea jacta est!
Damn the torpedoes! Full steam ahead!

With my consort it is a different story.
It seems that she have to go over an elaborate checklist before she can take off.

She has to check the weather, weigh herself, play with the cat, get dressed, pick some shoes, make a smoothie, tease the cat, change outfit, check the value of the rubble, change shoes again, check traffic on her computer, make a few phone calls, water some plants in the garden, have a drink of water and look at herself in the mirror once more.

And when she finally pulls up anchor, she often comes back to make double sure that she didn’t overlook anything.

But once underway, she is a (good) fearless driver. Evel Knievel reincarnated.
Get out of my way punks, make room for Babushka!

The fuzz has not yet stopped her, but her day of reckoning is coming closer every day.
That’s what I keep telling her and as you know, I am never wrong.

I am far from being perfect, but contrarily to the above-mentioned person, I can leave the house in thirty seconds flat!

Alain

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Repair at Le Garage

IMG_7403If you want to have a festive brunch, by all means go to Le Garage in Sausalito.

This French restaurant is facing the Richardson Bay and on a sunny day it is a real treat to dine outside.

The Sunday brunch menu is not elaborate (among other things: French toasts, eggs Benedict, omelets, croque-Monsieur, croque-Madame, burger, ham sandwich), but you don’t come to Le Garage merely for the food. You come to soak in the atmosphere.
If you have out of town visitors or guests from another country, they will be delighted by the genuine conviviality of the place.
Service is cordial and efficient.IMG_7417

But (there are always buts) the place is fairly difficult to find, parking is becoming increasingly laborious (even with valet parking), and it can be very crowded.
And unfortunately le Garage doesn’t take reservations for lunch or brunch.
If you don’t want to wait, the best time to arrive is around 1:30 p.m.

Le Garage can be very noisy and it is not the place to be if you want to have an intimate conversation with your inamorata.
But this type of ambiance could be very conducive to a clean breakup.
“Sorry Stacy, but I think I’m in love with your mom” or “My cat doesn’t like you.”
And you can get up and leave. Nobody will notice anything, even if Stacy starts crying (or screaming).

If you want a quieter atmosphere and a more elaborate menu, come for dinner.
They take reservations.

If the dining prices are reasonable, watch out for the drinks.
One single glass of Frank Family Vineyards 2013 Chardonnay set me back $15.00.
A little too rich for my blood.
If wine drinking you must, you would be much better off ordering a full bottle for $52.00.

Despite its shortcomings, I am still keen on Le Garage. Must be my French genes.
It is the perfect place to celebrate anything with your chums.

And you can be as loud as you want while munching on Moules Marinière or duck confit.

Alain

The fabulous Freddy Mercury:

Cyber security

Everybody craves security but security can be a fickle mistress, sometimes abruptly changing loyalty.

It is supposed to keep criminals from entering your castle, but it occasionally seems to change its mind and prevents you (the owner) from having access to your goods.
It feels like Jeeves refusing you entry to your own estate.

You naturally want to protect your belongings, so you put everything valuable under locked key.
But what if you lose the key to your vault? How are you going to retrieve your valuables? Who is going to help you?
This is the $64,000 question.

IMG_7372Yesterday I installed Windows 10 on a desktop computer running Windows 7.

It was a rather lengthy process and It took me about two hours to complete the operation. Let me point out that it was not a “clean install” but an upgrade.

Everything went tediously well, and after repeated messages like This won’t take long, Taking care of a few things, Just a few more tweaks, the Window 10 interface finally appeared on the screen.
Kookaburra! Good golly, miss Molly!

I experimented with the interface for a little while, especially with Cortana (Microsoft’s answer to Siri) and I then turned the machine off and rebooted it it to make sure that everything worked properly.

The computer burped and sneezed and finally asked for an “ausweis” (password), and that’s when everything came to an abrupt halt.
The cyber doorman rejected every password that I offered. And the following message appeared tauntingly each time:

“You can’t sign in you account right now. Go to account.live.com to fix the problem or try the last password you used on this PC.”

No matter what was entered, the Cerberus would not accept anything.

It is comforting and at the same time extremely annoying.
Comforting because it shows that the system is very picky about who can have access to you data, and annoying because it is basically protecting you from yourself.
Prove to me that you are who you pretend to be, it says.

I suspect that the mix-up occurred while I initially entered the required password.

The problem could have had something to do with the computer’s keyboard.
Any decent keyboard should have a visual indicator signaling that the “caps lock” key is activated or not, and this keyboard didn’t have this feature.

When you enter a password into a system, the machine often doesn’t show the actual letters being entered, but black dots. So you are never sure that what you entered is correct.

Since a decent password is supposed to have a mix of lowercase and uppercase characters, it could be a problem.
And it turned out to be a problem. A real pain in the wazoo.

Taking care of a computer that refuses access to its operating system can be a daunting task.
It is a never ending Catch 22.

In desperation I finally called Microsoft support. The last thing that I wanted to do!
After being transferred from department to department, I was finally put in touch with an Eastern gentleman.
Let me say right away that I love Bollywood movies and that I harbor no ill will towards Indian gentleman; but when it comes to technical support I would definitely prefer talking to somebody who speaks the King’s English.

After a few minutes of a difficult to decipher conversation, I regretfully had to end our technical powwow.
Strangely enough, as a foreign-born person I find it always difficult to understand foreign accents.

Then trying to retrieve the password online also proved very frustrating.
After different unsuccessful attempts I was told to cool my jets and not to bother Microsoft for at least 24 hours.

The computer is now mockingly inoperative. It knows that I know that everything is working properly, but it refuses to do anything until given proper identification.
It is aware that I am not a hacker, but it still declines to let me inside the club.

But I have not said my last word… I have lost a battle but I have not lost the war… yet.

Alain

To be continued…

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