Category: Fourre-tout

I just had an epiphany… No, I did not meet 3 wise men, but I had a sudden revelation; a kind of out of body experience.

I had been going to the same dentist for a long time… maybe 15 years. During that time, I became accustomed to his tiny office, to his equipment, to his methods and his personnel.

Then one day, after a medical emergency, he suddenly retired. I had to look for another “arracheur de dents” (tooth puller). After a bit of googling, I settled for a new practitioner conveniently located close to my home.

On my first visit to his office, Shazam! In a flash, I realized what a modern dentist office should look. It was like stepping into another world. Computers, gizmos, lights everywhere… Everything was gleaming… including the two young ladies at the front desk.

After some greetings, I was asked to fill up a lengthy questionnaire… with an iPad. An excellent idea to prevent errors I thought, especially when dealing with email addresses.

There were so many questions on that questionnaire that I wondered for a moment if this was a job application or a security clearance. I also routinely signed a bunch of documents without bothering to read any of them. What the use?

Then the dentist’s assistant took me to another gleaming cubicle for a series of X-rays and pictures. Unlike my old dentist’s antiquated equipment, she used state of the art devices to do that.

My blood pressure was also checked with a small wrist bracelet, and pictures of my teeth, my face (smiling and non-smiling) were routinely captured.

I was additionally quizzed about my life and personal habits. Was I really in a dental office or in a CIA black site? And what will happen to my “private” data?

I now better understand why in the movies, the police always rush to question the dentist about a “person of interest”.

Most of the people feel comfortable with the familiar and a little apprehensive about the unknown. If not introduced to the latest technology, they will continue to use or accept the equipment they are familiar with.

My former dentist was an elderly gentleman, who probably kept using the same equipment he started with. And not knowing any better, I went along without any questions.

In a way, it is like your car… Over the years, you came to accept and ignore its groans and its quirks. But if you inadvertently sit in a new car, you will immediately realize that your old vehicle is a clunker. And being only human, you will want a new automobile, right away…

Of course, I expect to pay more for all these glitzy lights and gizmos, but can you blame me for wanting to enjoy a bit of fancy dentistry before I meet my maker?

I know that you will understand.

Alain

Good assets management is an absolute necessity for success. And this philosophy applies to all your assets, including your body parts.

Now, what attracts a man when he is looking at a woman?
As a man of leisure and sidewalk cafés habitué, I have spent many hours investigating this topic.

When a man looks at a woman (some men don’t bother) I think that he first casts a quick glance at the subject. If she is attractive enough, he might take a second look.

It seems that women, regardless of their age, can be classified into two categories: those still looking for the elusive match, and those who dropped out of the race.
Ladies still running the romantic obstacle course aim to attract; dropouts don’t care. They are either involved with somebody or done with men.

Playing up their best assets and downplaying their least desirable features is the proven winning strategy for women looking to entice a man.

So what assets will a woman press into service to get a man interested? Hair, bust, hips, butt, legs?
Women have a lot of ammo at their disposal, but they need to proceed wisely before implementing their strategy.

To be noticed a woman has to be decently proportioned and walk gracefully. The walk is important because even if she is not a classic beauty, a woman can project great sexiness through her gait.

The hip movement is at the root of the attraction. The hips have to sway smoothly (like a sloop heading to the wind) otherwise the stride will appear stiff, unappealing. If the hips move fluidly, they will also drive the posterior with a pleasing samba-like motion… and it will be noticed.
A woman who has mastered the art of sashaying is way ahead of the pack.

“If someone tells you that you’re not beautiful, turned around and walk away so they can have a great view of your fabulous ass.”

In other words, if you have a great ass set, flaunt it.

Of course, a woman’s mind is never to be overlooked, but the first impression persists. Like Bo Derek running toward Dudley Moore in the movie 10.

Alain

I have made it my job (besides gossiping) to recognize the club’s Stakhanovites who go above and beyond of what is expected of them.

These last few weeks, we have seen a steady improvement of our playing field. First, there was the (once controversial) fence, then the move of the scoreboard to a better location, and recently the replacement of all the boule-stopping planks around the field.

Contrarily to what some might believe, our mini-wall owes nothing to our Twitter in Chief, and no good fairy was involved either. A few dedicated club members led by Mark and Sandra Shirkey did all of the work… without any fanfare.

Mark is a true “work hero” and like true Stakhanovites, he deserves a shiny Pour le Mérite” medal… or at least a keg of beer.

But he was not alone. My Intelligence Officers are telling me that Akira Okawa, Mike O’Leary as well as Marc Davantes, and Nick Davantes  were involved.
I might have overlooked some additional volunteers; I will glad to rectify this omission as soon as I learn more about it.

I was just reminded that Charlie was there (of course) and that the excavator operator was Paul Vierra. Thank you Marc Davantes. Evan Falcone was also very helpful in moving the kiosk.

In the former Soviet Union, Mark would have been called a “Work Hero” and be awarded a medal. In democratic Marin County, he will get a firm handshake… and maybe a peck on the cheek. If you feel exceptionally indebted, you might also let him win a few games.

Good deeds cannot go unnoticed. They inspire and nudge other people into participating in a project.

“Every time you do a good deed you shine the light a little farther into the dark. And the thing is, when you’re gone that light is going to keep shining on, pushing the shadows back.” Charles De Lint

After the battle of Austerlitz, Napoleon addressed his troops and said:
« You will just have to say: I was at the battle of Austerlitz, to be answered: here goes a brave lad!”

To paraphrase the Emperor « You will just have to say: I was at the battle of the Pétanque Court, to be answered: here goes a brave lad!”

Epilogue

Next time you see Mark, Sandra or any of the other Work Heroes, feel free to hug them or share our secret handshake with them.

Alain