Category: Fourre-tout

In America, there is a quaint saying which goes “Put your money where your mouth is.”

I never quite fully understood that sentence until I got a bill from my periodontist. Getting fitted with a single dental implant is going to cost me over $4000.00. Four thousand dollars for a single tooth! Blimey!
That’s when the proverbial lightbulb popped over my head.

My mouth was full of money… I never thought of that!

Let me see… I have 32 teeth, with each tooth worth at least 4000 clams. So, 32 multiplied by 4000 equals $128 000.00. Holly molly! I never realized that I have enough collateral in my mouth to buy a small boat or hire Stormy Daniels for a short while.

I can walk into any bank, and just by flashing my pearly whites, I can easily borrow $50,000.00. This is fantastic! There is enough cash in my mouth to cover my lifestyle.

But I have to be careful.  It is said, “When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.”
That’s why the girls are so eager to plant a wet one on me! I just thought that they liked me… And… there is nothing freakier than waking up to find two fingers probing your mouth.
In the future, I will have to be more careful and do a thorough body search of the lovelies when they leave.

And I should not smile too often. Flashing your assets can be risky. I know that scouts are always on the lookout for great teeth. Am I paranoid?
Well, have you ever heard of Organ Harvesting? I have!

My teeth are my bond… and because of this, I have to pamper them. Nothing is too good for them. Caviar and Dom Perignon on a regular basis. Brushing every hour… massage every 2 hours…
It is almost like grooming a prized horse.

But having nice teeth can also have a negative effect.

“Comrades, this man has a nice smile, but he’s got iron teeth.” Andrei A. Gromyko
So said comrade Gromyko. He was basically saying that if you smile too broadly, it might make you look like a shark, ready to swallow you whole.

Next time you see me, don’t be offended if I don’t look like my old jovial self.  Like a smart appealing girl, I don’t want to reveal too much of my assets at once.
You will have to woe me first to have your way with me.

Alain

Many people thought that it was too risky, but by George, our man in Washington did it. Unable to get what he so ardently promised to his base, the man-child threw a temper tantrum and shut down Government.
It’s my party and I will sulk if I want to.
If I cannot have my way, I will ruin the shindig for everybody else.

For most Americans government shutdown is slightly inconvenient, proving one more time that the nation would be better off without most of the overpaid, complacent, and gutless congressmen.

But for some, it is a tremendous hardship. The shutdown means that many federal employees are “furloughed”. A nice euphemism for “you won’t get paid for your work”.

According to a new survey from CareerBuilder: “Almost 8 out of 10 American workers say they live paycheck to paycheck to make ends meet.” 

 This puts a lot of people in a very precarious situation. Not being able to provide for your family is one of the most heartbreaking situations anybody can face. If the government shuts down, then no congressman, including the president, should get paid.

Our president might be under the delusion that he has broad dictatorial powers, but it is not so. An American president is (fortunately) nothing like a Russian czar/president. He cannot dictate, intimidate or liquidate the opposition. A painful realization for somebody who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth and used to always get his own way.

There might come a time when our Chief Executive Officer will curse the day when his vanity prompted him to run for the highest office in the land. Like the Sorcerer’s Apprentice  he is woefully unqualified for the job.
To his sorrow, in his actual position he is under the constant glare of public scrutiny; as a private citizen, surrounded by a phalanx of lawyers, he could practically do whatever he wanted.

A president is normally surrounded by advisors. A good advisor is somebody who is not afraid to challenge his boss’s views. But obviously, there is an acute shortage of those in the White House.

Governing also means negotiating. Getting part of what you want is always better than not getting anything at all. Any diplomat worth his top hat knows that.

There is no shame for an honorable man to extend an olive branch to the other side but..

“An honorable man is fair even to his enemies; a dishonorable man is unfair even to his friends!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

Somehow, this saying has a very familiar ring!

Alain

So, how was it? you might ask. Well, the ground was a bit soggy but playable, especially for people who can plomber* properly.

In this so-called “Home and Home” tournament, 8 doublettes from Sonoma met 8 doublettes from Marin on the San Rafael court. On Saturday, February 2nd, the same Marin players will go to Sonoma to compete for the second half of this tournament.

The weather was cool in the morning, and partly sunny in the afternoon. Two games were played in the morning and two in the afternoon. One more time alas, the Sonoma youngsters bested the Marin old timers.

Feeling that the ground was a little too wet for my taste, I opted not to play and concentrated instead on photographing this event. For me, it is as much fun and as much challenging as playing.

Taking decent pictures is demanding, requires a lot of work, and nobody is more critical than the photographer himself. The light, the shooting angles, the shades, as well as the right moments, everything is important.

When I take pictures, it feels like using a submachine gun. I shoot in bursts, hoping that just like in a volley of bullets, one of my shots is going to hit the target properly.
And let’s face it, some subjects are definitely more photogenic than some others.

While playing, some competitors always remain cool and composed; those are not my favorite subjects. Besides good form, I am looking for passion, even some suffering. To me, a grimacing player is like the Mother Lode.

Yesterday, I liked the form of Erin McTaggart, the unorthodoxy of September Deignan, the passion of Steve Jones, the star quality of Jean-Michel and the composure of Bernard Passemar.
I also liked the photogenic form of Mark (Indiana) Shirkey. He always looks like he is giving it his best.

Everything was over by 4:00 pm and just about everybody left the field at that time.

I hope that you will like some of my pictures and let me know about it.

Alain

PS: Feel free to download any of my pictures, but when posting any of them on social media, please include photo credit (Photos by Alain Efron). Thank you.

*Plomber: To throw your boule high enough in the air to get it to fall close to the cochonnet, and making it stop through its heavy impact on the ground.