Category: Fourre-tout

“Okay I’ll come in for one drink and maybe sex but that’s it.”

Every morning I hop on to my computer armchair and peruse American and French sites for interesting tidbits.

A few days ago I came across an enthusiastic review of a Netflix production called “Sex Education”. It was written by a French blogger named Fiona Schmidt, a lady “qui n’a pas froid aux yeux” (who does not have the fear of a shillelagh in her eyes.) Poetic license.

I was a little surprised to find this review of an Anglo/American production in the French Huffpost, but in the days of globalism nothing should surprise you anymore.

 This review, drafted in French was provocative and well written. This prompted me to tune in to Netflix and watch the above-mentioned show.

The plot is simple but full of twists. At the urging of a rebellious girl, a virgin boy of 16 (whose mother is sexologist) opens a practice of clandestine sexual therapy in high school.
Sounds a little implausible but you have to play along.

My adolescent years are far away, but it seems to me that a teen today is more knowledgeable about sex than many adults fifty years ago.

I don’t know if it is the easy access of online pornography, but juveniles today seem to have no qualms about talking about sex. Their vocabulary is peppered with words such as penis, vagina and oral sex.

Fiona writes “In the series as in real life, girls masturbate, think about sex and express their desires. Teens think about sex and fuck.”

 And why not? Sexual intercourse today is not the sole preserve of male imagination. Women think of sex as much as men and are not bashful about it.

“Men think, while women desire.’ Gone are the days when ‘demanding sex’ was considered exclusively a man’s forte. Today women demand sex greater than men. And they have no qualms about getting vocal about it.”

The sexual revolution has matured and is now egalitarian. Just as it should be.

Alain

“How did sex come to be thought of as dirty in the first place? God must have been a Republican.”― Will Durst, political satirist 

Generally speaking, I am a doubting Thomas, but oddly enough I believe in Karma. I am convinced that every action has a consequence. A little bit like Yin and Yang.

Do good, and good will follow you. Do bad, and it will catch up with you and slap you silly. If you are a little slow on the uptake, imagine karma as a giant foot poised to kick your butt if you misbehave.

Karma is like a boomerang, whatever you give out… will come back to you.  Rashida Rowe

As a result, many politicians and celebrities are presently experiencing pain and suffering due to past, long forgotten misdeeds. Even at the pinnacle of their careers, they are not impervious to the long arm of karma.

Right now, three Virginia state executives are fighting for their professional lives. The governor and his attorney general are accused of racial insensitivity, and the lieutenant governor is denounced for sexual misconduct.

They all face charges for activities that happened decades ago. You should know that the sophisticated karma computers keep track of all your deeds, from birth to death. If you are not getting your comeuppance in your present existence, you will probably be reborn as a snake or cockroach. In Buddhism, bad actions in a previous life can follow a person into his next life.

This is the catechism that ought to be taught in schools and in Congress. If this had been done, the great villains of history would have thought twice before committing their dastardly deeds.

Karma, by the way, has nothing to do with Hell or Paradise. Hell was designed to keep simpletons in line. If you don’t do what we command, you will burn eternally. But there is no evidence of that. I have never met a guy who escaped hell to tell me about it.

But karma… Harvey Weinstein, Kevin Spacey, Matt Lauer, Charlie Rose, Les Moonves etc. are all living proof of its potency. They are not in hell but probably wishing they were.
This is not to say that women are not capable of sexual harassment. They are indeed, but maybe better at concealing their misdeeds.

To sum it up,

“Think twice before jumping over that puddle in your white pants.“

Karma is patient, thorough… and has total memory recall.
And no, you cannot invoke the Fifth Amendment.

Alain

 

I like my present job.
Being my own boss, I am totally in charge of my work agenda. I can indulge in “executive time” whenever I feel like it, secure in the knowledge that it won’t be damaging to the welfare of the nation.

“Executive time” by the way, is a fairly new expression and to make sure that I didn’t misinterpret its meaning, I Googled it.

The Urban Dictionary (a very reliable source) defines it as follows:

“Time spent alone in bed, performing unproductive activities like watching television, playing on a cell phone or masturbating.”

“Ex-ec-u-tive Time: Country Club speak for a host of common, unimportant acts done at the expense of someone else e.g. cheating on a spouse in the office, looking a porn on the company computer, sleeping on the job, etc.”

OK, I get it. Using “executive time” basically means goofing around. Nothing wrong with that… presuming that you are a very small cog of a large piece of machinery. Hence, when I dawdle, nobody but my cat knows about it, and it has very little effect on the management of the nation.

On the other hand, if the captain of a nuclear submarine dawdles, it is a totally different story. It could have dire consequences.

To dispel nasty rumors (obviously fake news), press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders recently stated that:

“The president is one of the hardest workers I’ve ever seen and puts in long hours and long days nearly every day of the week all year long.”

Upon hearing this, I felt much better. I want my captain to stand poised at the helm of the ship of state, ready to ride any storm.
If unbiased Sarah Sanders vouches for her boss, she knows what she is talking about. And she would never fib about it… or would she?

In conclusion,

Sleep in peace my fellow Americans, Captain America is on watch duty in the conning tower.

Alain