Category: Fourre-tout

“A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.” Barbara Johnson

Do you like cookies? Of course, you do. Everybody does… but (as your mother surely told you) beware of sweets offered by strangers… especially in the semi-darkness of the World Wide Web. They could be and often are, tainted gifts. Truth be told, they are miniature trojan horses.
Once you accept them, they will immediately spy and plot against you. This is their main purpose.

I am talking of course about Computer Cookies, the small poisoned files that will rat on you the minute they settle in your computer. They will spill all your beans. They will babble about your lifestyle, your love life and especially what you like and where you are shopping.
Cookies are the Stasi agents of the computer world. Extremely effective and dangerous.

You could, of course, refuse to let them in, but the cookie dealer will then refuse to share any information with you and slam his door in your face.

Recent laws have forced companies to make you aware of the cookies’ threat, but to get what you want, you have to blindly agree with all their conditions.
You have to “accept” a bunch of rules before accessing their websites. A little bit like mindlessly signing 5 pages of obscure “legalese” when making an important purchase.

I shudder to think what the authorities (and the Russians) could do with this treasure trove of information… maybe subverting an electoral process? Nooooo… they could not do that! Could they?

The Internet is a Pandora box… or more accurately, a “chatterbox”. Once opened, it will release many personal facts that should have kept under keys. And once out…

Cookies are addictive. Once you start munching on one, there is no end to it. You are hooked and the bad guys know that. Just try one… they are delicious… what have you got to lose?

Well, if you don’t watch your diet, it could adversely affect your health. Your cyber health that is. And anything dealing with health is expensive, very expensive.

Do you realize how much Amazon knows about you? Jeff Bezos is more informed about me than my wife. He sends me love notes, reminders, suggestions every day of the week. How can you not love such a guy?

In rare moments of lucidity, I think of going on a cyber diet, but this does not last very long. Next thing you know I am surfing the Internet gobbling cookies.

I cannot help it, “cookie” is my middle name.

Alain

On Sunday, August 11^th, La Pétanque Marinière will be hosting a Select Mixed Doubles tournament named the Happy Hurlers.
Put it in your calendar.

The Happy Hurlers if you care to remember, was “le nom de guerre” of a mighty “doublette” consisting of Henry Wesseland Calvert Barron; Henry is sorely missed and we would love to see Calvert again. Incidentally, the Urban Dictionary states that “a Wessel is an awesome person, that’s just all-around great and loved by many! “

Time flies. It has been almost a year since Henry passed away and the pain is still raw. As a low-key individual, Henry elicited affection and admiration for his skills and modest demeanor. He never bragged about his accomplishments and was generous with his smiles and compliments. With Calvert they formed a mighty formation capable of challenging and besting the toughest opponents.

Henry and Calvert were the staples of our club. They both worked hard and played equally hard, but they were not pompous individuals and enjoyed a good hearty laugh.

If I remembered properly, they owned two dogs, and I always believed that anybody who cares for any critter is a better human being that anybody who does not.

So, this tournament, even though it does not bear the name of its alumnus, is a tribute to Henry and Calvert.

I hope that many of you who knew them, will come and share with us a belated tribute to his life, his art, and his infinite good guy aura. They don’t make them like him anymore.
If you own a T-shirt bearing his trademark (Happy Hurlers), flaunt it like a War Pennant.
I will!

Don’t you know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken? Terry Pratchett

 My friends and I have spoken his name numerous times. In our hearts, Henry is alive and well. And since Hank was fond of French, I will add “Honi soit qui mal y pense!”

 And remember, “Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”

Alain

My champion wife (soon to be featured on a box of Wheaties) opted out of yesterday’s tournament and offered to take some pictures while I was battling the enemy on the frontier. So, about the first 30 photos of this album were taken by her.
I cannot guaranty her work and there will be absolutely no refunds.

Now about yesterday’s affair. There was not a large number of players, but this detail was compensated by the fact that instead of quantity (28 players) we got quality.

Most of the players were what we call in France “des durs à cuire” (hard to cook). In other words, tough cookies. There were quite a few people that I never saw before and there were no easy wins.

For this tournament, I enticed Antoine Lofaro to play with me and I assured him that as his wingman I would stake my life to guard his flanks. Antoine, as everybody knows, is a versatile, outstanding player and I felt honored to play with him. In the morning, mainly thanks to Antoine,  we won 2 out of our 3 games and were inducted in the Concours.

In the afternoon we faced “unheard of” Toy and Cindy Vorachak. Antoine opted to play in a sandy area, and this proved to be my undoing. Hampered by the sand trap, I could not point accurately enough and each time I succeeded, I was blown off by Toy’s murderous shooting accuracy. Cindy also proved to be a very good player in her own right and these “unknowns” kicked us off unceremoniously from the Concours.

This was not a neophyte’s tournament. It was stuffed with outstanding players and you ventured on the field at your own risk.
Among the certified “shooters” there was Antoine Lofaro, Max Lofaro (Antoine’s son), Manu Le Bihan, Nicolas Humbert, Wolfie Kurz, Ed Porto, and Toy Vorachak. All tough competitors… and as stated before, des durs a cuire!

I mentioned young Frenchman Nicolas Humbert who, with his sidekick Maxime Kehon, were unknown to me and just about anybody else. They proved to be terrific competitors who, ultimately defeated Wolfie and Holly to win La Consolante 13/12.

In the Concours finales, Manu Le Bihan and George Bedrossian were pitted against Ed Porto and Brian Williams (never saw or heard of this guy before). He proved to be a fantastic pointer and of great help to Ed Porto.

I have a theory by the way, about A players. Unknown to lowly rated competitors, there exists a secret network that will provide “callgirls” on demand. Before a tournament, an A player calls a confidential number and ask the organization to send him a good partner. The quality of the player, of course, depends on the fee disbursed.

Ed and Brian proved to be an unbeatable winning combination. With Brian pointing extremely well and Ed blowing everything in his path, they could not be beat. Despite fierce resistance by Manu and George, the Dynamic Duo could not be stopped.
They won the tournament 13/7.

Concours
1^stplace: Ed Porto and Brian Williams
2^ndplace: Manu le Bihan and George Bedrossian
3^rdplace: Max Lofaro and Jacques Gautier

Consolante
1^stplace: Nicolas Humbert and Maxime Kehon
2^ndplace: Wolfie Kurz and Holly Sammons

Alain

Be sure to watch the pictures by clicking on “My photos”.