Category: Fourre-tout

A little bit of everything

Looking for a good woman

A good woman… Yes I have been looking for a good woman… it is a difficult and frustrating endeavor because it seems that there is a shortage of that species.

My predicament looks similar to the people of China and India where men are struggling to find brides.

“In China and India, men outnumber women by 70 million. Both nations are belatedly trying to come to grips with the policies that created this male-heavy generation.”

A good partner should be attractive, physically fit, self-controlled, resilient, flexible, optimistic, a team player, multilingual, open-minded, a good conversationalist…

I admit that the job’s requirements are stiff, but this unique position demands it. It is a job that calls for self-control… and among other things, expert parallel parking.

Some people are quick to recruit a partner and… invariably they pay the price for their impetuosity. In such affairs, hiring interviews are of the utmost importance. You need to be able to read your tentative partner’s mind before making a decision.

As mentioned above, the coveted woman should be physically fit to assume the various positions required by the job. Being nimble of mind and body is essential. The way things go, everything happens fast, and a competent woman should be able to adapt to any situation that life throws at her.

In Pétanque, select mixed teams’ competition is not the way to go. Like in many sporting disciplines, men outnumber women by a wide margin and finding a competent mate is bordering on the impossible.

Women in sports? By all means, but not in mandated formations. Because of the lack women, many men won’t be able to play in next weekend’s tournament. This not the way to promote this sport.

Tournaments should be designed around the idea of attracting a maximum of competitors regardless of gender or age.

So, because of the sparsity of available women, I will be sitting this tournament out. Maybe it is a blessing in disguise. I have back pains and a strenuous tournament might exasperate my condition.

But fear not. I will be there with my nosy cameras to record everything… warts and all.

Ta ta for now…

Alain

“When you can feel the wind blowing through your hair, it’s time to shave your legs!”

Are kissing days over?

Kissing as everybody knows, is a patented French (invention) custom, difficult to circumvent. Everything in France (from cradle to grave) starts and ends with kisses… regardless of the weather conditions.

“Until you have been kissed on a rainy Parisian afternoon, you have never been kissed.” Woody Allen
Absolutely true. I can vouch for it.

Kissing is extremely catchy… It can spread like fire. But so is the dreaded Coronavirus. Given the impeding pandemic, is kissing to become verboten, obsolete? Maybe… but I doubt it.

No matter what the (unprepared) authorities will declare, just like during the Prohibition, there will be speakeasies where kissing will remain popular. Yes, there will be raids and arrests, but you cannot stop smooching. It is a human right mentioned in the Declaration of Independence… Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness…

Since kissing could bring about deadly consequences, it might become a little less attractive to some people. But for bungee jumpers, office seekers and other thrills applicants, it will come to be the Holy Grail. Kiss me if you dare! What teenager could refuse that challenge?

On our troubled times, kissing could also be weaponized. To get rid of some inconvenient opponents, you could hire some hitmen/hitwomen to give them the kiss of death. Better than Polonium. Discreet, pleasant and deadly.

On the pétanque field, no more smooching. We might have to wear hazmat suits and it would not be very practical. So, what could we do to greet each other in a friendly manner? A pat on the butt? A High-Five? A deep Japanese bow?

In don’t know, but in my crystal ball I see a killer app that could supersede kissing. When meeting, people would draw out their smartphones and point it at each other. A giant wet kiss would then be sent to the recipient.

Conclusion

The Coronavirus crisis is a very serious problem and it will get worse before it gets better, but panic is a very bad advisor. Until a vaccine is produced, everybody needs to stay cool and use common sense. Follow the guidelines from the CDC.

“Perform hand hygiene frequently. Wash your hands often with soap and water for at least 20 seconds or use an alcohol-based hand sanitizer that contains 60 to 95% alcohol, covering all surfaces of your hands and rubbing them together until they feel dry. Avoid touching your eyes, nose, and mouth with unwashed hands.”

Alain

“Some women blush when they are kissed; some call the police, some swear, some bite. But the worst are the those who laugh.” Anonymous

Viva Lamorinda

Lamorinda, here we come!

I am 5 minutes away by car from the Marin pétanque court. I can be there in a jiffy… in my pajamas if need be. Other fields, located farther away, require a little more effort; but it is sensible, once in a while, to stray from familiar grounds and mix with different tribes.

Eric Thiebault

Yesterday, after hearing glowing reports about Lamorinda, I drove to Lafayette to investigate this story. This club (on a good day) is located about 45 minutes away from my house, so it requires a little more energy to get there…

Because of traffic, I seldom venture to the East Bay, but life can be full of surprises. Except for the Emeryville corridor, the traffic was fairly light and we were on the field around 11:30 am.
Upon our arrival, we saw about 10 people already playing, but about one hour later, this little band grew to about 30. And this, on an ordinary day!
How do you explain this successful patronage?

First of all, Lamorinda is a welcoming club and its members are very friendly. They promptly put everybody at ease and in a pleasant mood. But this does not mean that they will let you win. Au contraire mon frère !

When it comes to playing, anybody willing to participate puts a boule in a circle and somebody creates teams. But these teams don’t stay together for the entire day. Periodically, squads are recreated and everybody plays with different partners.
At noon, there is a little break, and all sit down to share goodies, laughs and beverages.

After lunch, new teams are formed and games start again. Unlike members of our club, most of the Lamorindians are dedicated players. They came to play and will indulge their passion until nightfall. I suspect though, that later on, some will fall by the wayside and will be collected in the darkness by friends or relatives.

Of course, we did not feel like strangers. Many of the Lamorinda natives were familiar to us and have played with us in the past.
But it seems that (as we are getting older) most of the people are stay-at-home types; they prefer to avoid the traffic hassle and play with familiar people on familiar grounds.

I think that it would be great it if everybody tried once in a while to get behind the wheel and play in a different location. In this respect, I give well-deserved credit to the Sacramento and Fresno people who think nothing of spending a few hours a car to play with us.

Going to Lamorinda was a very positive experience and I will do it again soon. They are excellent players and they have outstanding shooters.
I urge everybody to go there and if you are shy, tell them that Alain sent you.

Enjoy the few pictures I managed to take.

Alain