A l’aide! je veux de la galette!

This year again, on January 6, I couldn’t share the traditional Galette des Rois with my friends and this really irked me. All of this is because of the enduring pandemic and the lasting irresponsibility of some ignorant yoyos. They are as afraid of a little jab in the arm as the people in the Middle Ages were afraid of “sneezing out their souls.”

In the time of the plague, sneezing could mean that a person was infected and would be next to die. But it was also believed that when you sneezed, it gave the Devil the opportunity to enter your body and steal your soul. Saying “God bless you” was supposed to protect you and prevent Satan from invading your organism.

All this non-sense was of course debunked a long time ago, just as the claptrap about vaccines was. But some people obviously still fear that the Devil will slither into their bodies through the jab of a tiny needle.

l my friends does not need a needle to enter your body and pollute your soul. He uses obedient evil-inclined individuals to do his dirty work.

On January 6, 2021, he used a flawed President and his goons to launch an attack on American democracy. The plot failed, but it does not mean that it cannot happen again. On 8-9 November 1923, Hitler and his Nazi supporters tried to seize power in Germany. They failed, but 10 years later they succeeded and launched a series of wars that killed over 70 million people around the world.

Satan is watching and laughing at the stupidity of some earthlings. They are his unwitting tools, and he knows it. Given a chance they will swallow any fabrication uttered by some power-hungry individuals.

I bet that most people would not mind a national mandatory order to get vaccinated or get fined a substantial amount of money. Some people are pretty obtuse, but they still understand and respect moolah.

You see what cheating me out of my little celebration can make me do or say? Depriving me of my Galette des Rois is like taking a meaty bone back from a bulldog. He won’t let you do it without a fight. So, blast the nincompoops who refuse to get vaccinated and prolong our misery indefinitely.

But at the same time, I also want to thank the scores of people who remembered my birthday and send me greetings and flowers. They are my kind of people, and I secured a place in Paradise for them all. When you will arrive up there, just mention my name and they will let you in.

Glad to see you Saint Pete will say. Alain called me on my private line and told me to expect you. Enjoy your stay, and by the way… you don’t have to wear masks here. Everybody and everything is kosher. And you can have as much Champagne and Galette des Rois as you want.

Bienvenue au paradis mes amis !

Alain

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