Back pain saga

“If I woke up in the morning and nothing hurt, I would think I was dead.”

 Well, when I get up, I know damn well that I am alive because the lumbar area of my back never fails to remind me of it.

I wake up with pain every morning and I carry it with me all day long… maybe to a lesser extent during the day. But like a faithful pooch, it never leaves my (right) side. It always waits patiently and follows me wherever I go. The only time I get some relief is when I sit down or get drunk.

It all started a few months ago… I woke up one morning with excruciating back pain and it took me about 30 to 40 seconds to completely stand up. I first thought that the hurting would disappear the next day or within a few days, but I was wrong. The pain didn’t go away and became a permanent guest. It also forced me to walk like Quasimodo in the early hours of the day.

To get some relief, I first tried Ibuprofen; after a few dozen pills and no pain remission I gave it up. I switched to pads, hot and cold… no appreciable results. I moved to creams and lotions including horse liniment… nada.

I finally went to see my regular physician. After a brief visit, he recommended stretching exercises. I tried it, to no avail. My doctor then prescribed an MRI. I spent about an hour in a white tunnel listening to strange noises and I kind of liked it, but it did not reveal any specific problem.

My doctor then suggested some injections… OK, go for it, I said. It absolutely did not work, and I then suddenly realized that the poor man did not know what else to do anymore. Since the pain persisted,  I turned to cannabis oil. I did some research and upon reading some favorable comments I decided to give it a try.

I turned to my regular supplier (Amazon) and started by ordering hemp oil. I tried it for a few days with no appreciable results and gave it up.  The pain was sneering and laughing at me.

Then I decided to get some CBD ointment and after some research, I turned to Charlottes’ Web, where I purchased some cream that is supposed to work wonders.

 If this ointment fails, I will probably address the occult powers and celebrate a black mass with the hope that somebody out there will listen to me. Hope never dies. I will probably keep searching for a solution until I cross the river Styx.

“Technically I’m still young but according to my back pain I’m actually 97.”

To be continued…


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