Am I an Influencer?

Lately, the word “influencer” has been bandied about in the news, in movies, in the social media… So, please tell, what exactly is an influencer? Could it be your wife? Your boss? The pope? The IRS?

Not exactly… even though (if you are astute) your wife’s opinion should be carefully considered before making an important decision. She might not have the title, but she certainly has the pull. In my eyes, she qualifies as an influencer.

But let see what the pros are saying. According to the Influencer Marketing Hub:

“An influencer is someone who has: the power to affect the purchasing decisions of others because of his or her authority, knowledge, position, or relationship with his or her audience.”

 There also are different categories of influencers. Digital Marketing is dividing these people in 5 distinct groups:

“Mega-influencers with more than a million followers (think celebrities)
Macro-influencers with 500K to 1 million followers
Mid-tier influencers with 50K to 500K followers
Micro-influencers with 10K to 50K followers
Nano-influencers with 1K to 10K followers”

Interesting, very interesting… So, what’s under nano? Because that’s where I belong. According to my friends at Wikipedia, this prefix derives from the Greek νᾶνος (Latin nanus), meaning “dwarf”. With an audience under 1K, I cannot even qualify as a dwarf influencer… This my friends, is a heavy blow to my ego!

I understand that an influencer has got to have a niche and be an expert on some subject. Well, I have no niche and I am no expert on any subject… but as French luminary Michel Audiard once said: “C’est pas parce qu’on a rien à dire qu’Il faut fermer sa gueule. » (Just because you have nothing to say doesn’t mean that we have to shut your trap.)

I am not an isolated case. There are legions of people around me who have really nothing to say but who keep on talking. It is almost an American institution, like the Senate.

In movies, an influencer is usually pictured as a young woman constantly preening and talking to her cellphone. This is probably the main reason why I don’t qualify as an influencer. As an old bald guy using a walkie-talkie to communicate with my friends, I don’t fit the image.

But don’t let this blatant ageist prejudice stop you from seeking my advice… I might be low on the Richter scale, but I have an answer for everything.


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