Is Christmas a hoax?

Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard. ~ Andy Borowitz

I believe so Andy. But let’s start from the beginning…

Christmas is an annual event commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ. It is observed on December 25 by billions of people around the world… whether they are Christians or not. Even the Chinese (keen traders) have now taken to celebrate that holiday…

So far so good, but we are also told that “Jesus came into the world to atone for the sins of humanity…”

To atone for the sins of humanity… Um… I don’t mean to be rude, but this is a very tall story… a skyscraper of a story…

I am a doubting Thomas; I cannot help it. I don’t buy fanciful stories without direct personal experience. So, I will recuse myself from believing that tale and propose my own (true) version of the creation of Christmas.

Christmas Day was in reality created by a cartel of merchants to boost the sales of frankincense and myrrh. And they did well; especially after choosing Jesus (a nice Jewish boy) as a poster boy.

They did so well, that after a while all the other merchants jumped on the bandwagon and promulgated the story for their own benefit.

I did not want to deflate your balloon, but you will have to admit that this story is much more plausible than the one peddled by evangelists.

There is no question that merchants played a significant part in promoting this day and they all benefited from it.

The true miracle Of Christmas though I that so many nations with so many different beliefs finally managed to agree on something… without any blood spilling!

So, are we square on that story?

My French cousins have a saying « Les petits cadeaux entretiennent l’amitié.” Small gifts nurture friendship… it is true, but I will hasten to add that big gifts corrupt.

I think that we have gone overboard with the gift-giving business. A child today gets so many presents that he does not know what to do with them all. We are therefore corrupting them with the belief that bigger is better.

Call me a party pooper, but I feel (as seen on TV) that a single well-chosen present per child is the right way to celebrate Christmas.
Anathema! will cry all the merchants. Crucify that heathen for his heretic beliefs!

Since all the shopkeepers will undoubtedly put a price on my head, you will not see me for a while. I am in hiding, wearing a rug and dark glasses.

But from my secret underground location, I still want to wish you un Joyeux Noel and a happy New year!


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