In America, there is a quaint saying which goes “Put your money where your mouth is.”
I never quite fully understood that sentence until I got a bill from my periodontist. Getting fitted with a single dental implant is going to cost me over $4000.00. Four thousand dollars for a single tooth! Blimey!
That’s when the proverbial lightbulb popped over my head.
My mouth was full of money… I never thought of that!
Let me see… I have 32 teeth, with each tooth worth at least 4000 clams. So, 32 multiplied by 4000 equals $128 000.00. Holly molly! I never realized that I have enough collateral in my mouth to buy a small boat or hire Stormy Daniels for a short while.
I can walk into any bank, and just by flashing my pearly whites, I can easily borrow $50,000.00. This is fantastic! There is enough cash in my mouth to cover my lifestyle.
But I have to be careful. It is said, “When a thief kisses you, count your teeth.”
That’s why the girls are so eager to plant a wet one on me! I just thought that they liked me… And… there is nothing freakier than waking up to find two fingers probing your mouth.
In the future, I will have to be more careful and do a thorough body search of the lovelies when they leave.
And I should not smile too often. Flashing your assets can be risky. I know that scouts are always on the lookout for great teeth. Am I paranoid?
Well, have you ever heard of Organ Harvesting? I have!
My teeth are my bond… and because of this, I have to pamper them. Nothing is too good for them. Caviar and Dom Perignon on a regular basis. Brushing every hour… massage every 2 hours…
It is almost like grooming a prized horse.
But having nice teeth can also have a negative effect.
“Comrades, this man has a nice smile, but he’s got iron teeth.” Andrei A. Gromyko
So said comrade Gromyko. He was basically saying that if you smile too broadly, it might make you look like a shark, ready to swallow you whole.
Next time you see me, don’t be offended if I don’t look like my old jovial self. Like a smart appealing girl, I don’t want to reveal too much of my assets at once.
You will have to woe me first to have your way with me.
Alain