Extreme cleavage

Last Sunday night, like millions of people, I watched the Oscars. While sipping on Champagne and tugging on my bow tie, I could not help but notice the abundance of “extreme” cleavages on the Red Carpet.

I am not opposed to cleavage, au contraire, but a neck to naveldécolletédoes not look or feel right. Especially in the middle of a passionate crusade against exploitation and objectification of women.

Women sometimes can be their worst enemy. I understand that on this significant occasion every actress is vying for attention, but showing too much skin is not the best way to do it.

A kamikaze décolleté, like a miniskirt or yoga pants, is not for everybody. To pull such a stunt successfully, you need the right equipment and the right garment. When showing cleavage, the V-line of the dress should stop right below the boobs.

If you look like Kate Upton, showing cleavage is a charitable obligation, but if you are a Twiggy lookalike, please abstain. There is absolutely nothing attractive or sexy about a boyish-looking woman baring her chest.

Flat chested women particularly look silly and over-endowed women look equally foolish. Showing extreme cleavage is a precarious balancing act between the sublime and the ridiculous. Don’t attempt this without supervision.

I am far from being a prig and I have always been on extremely friendly terms with the twins; but cleavage is an “amuse-gueule“, not the “piece de resistance.”

A woman likes to showcase her goods, but her wares have to be above average to be displayed. And when teasing, less is always more effective than more. When in doubt, show restraint and forget the navel.

Of course, if you have a wart on your nose or some facial hair on your upper lip it might not be a bad idea:

I’m gonna try showing a little cleavage with the hopes that it will draw attention away from my face.”

In this case, I would understand, but generally speaking, extreme cleavage is to be avoided.

“Free the twins” sounds good, but is your equipment up to the task?


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